Friday, 06 November 2009
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Advice Needed: Which Big Kid Move Should I Make First?
My daughter is 2.5, and I know I should start potty training, get rid of her bedtime/naptime binky, and convert her crib to a bed. She has outgrown her travel yard, and when we travel, she does not understand that a real bed is for sleeping and is not a trampoline, so I thought if she had a real bed at home instead of her crib, traveling may be easier.
I don't know if I should do them all at once, or one at a time. And if one or two at a time, what order? This is my first child, any advice would be very helpful. Thanks!
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Comments (15)
I would start with the bed, because once they are potty trained they need to be able to get up and use the bathroom. Next I would do potty training and finish it up by taking the binky away by telling her that she has become a big girl who sleeps in a bed, uses the potty, and now it's time to give her binky to a different baby - because she doesn't need it anymore.
Good luck - it feels like I just went through all of this but it's been 4 years since my youngest got out of diapers. Time flies!!
Bed, then binkie, then potty training. Just my advice. If you do the potty training first and she feels traumatized by the removal of the binkie or exchange to a bed... she might regress, and if she's going to go back a stage, then potty training would be best as the last stage, lol. Besides, she'll do the potty thing when she's ready, and this will give her more time.
I would start with the binky because she will probably have trouble sleeping without it at first and so will probably be up and down all night. If you have her in the crib it will be easier to keep her in bed as she is adapting to sleep without the binky. Then the crib goes but keep the mattress and put it on the floor next to the bed at night so when she rolls out of bed she has a soft place to land. Potty training would be last because it will take the longest to accomplish. You have a lot to get through so take it easy, don't sweat the small stuff, laugh lots and realize that there is no real time pressure in this. I mean think about it how many women have you seen walk down the marriage aisle in diapers with a binky in their mouth to spend their wedding night in a crib?
It will happen in time.
I don't have kids, so don't yell at me if I say something wrong, I would suggest starting with the bed, then the other two items. Doing all 3 at once would be a bit overwhelming, I would think.
what I apply to mykid at the age of 2+, I let him sit on the toilet bowl and ask him to do his balancing... he makes it for sometimes.
You know my husband and I had the same issue and we did it all at the same time. Our first born still drank from a bottle when she went to bed, was sleeping with us, still had her pacifier, and was still wearing diapers. We did it all at once, and it worked it out just fine. We told her that the doctor didn't want her drinking from a bottle or having a pacifier anymore, and that she should have her in a big girl bed, and out of diapers. She was so easy, and smooth sailing! Good luck to you!
@turningreen@xanga - Ditto.
I also like the idea of leaving her with her comfort item through the other transitions.
My daughter is almost three. This is the order I used and in my opinion it makes the most sense. Get rid of the binki first. We let my daughter throw them away herself. Then switch her from a crib to a bed. Then potty train her.
Hope that helps. Be sure to give her a little time in between so she doesn't regress.
Aren't you glad you asked? ha ha
One thing to for sure make really clear to her, to let her know what a big girl she is becoming, and with that, there are certain things that she can do now. Make it sound important and exciting! My son was over 2 when i put him out of the crib, but just turning three before he was completely potty trained. He was a hard one to train. My dd just turned 28 mo. old, and is still not potty trained, although the potty is quite visible in the bathroom and she goes 'pretend pee-pee' sometimes. And she has been out of the crib for quite some time, since she had a sister come along when she was not quite 16 mo. old. Which is why no.1 dd isn't potty trained yet, b/c mommy is busy with the now 1 yr. old no.2 dd, too.
Start with the binky, just because it's not good for her speech muscles to still be using one. We transferred our son to an in-between-sized bed (toddler bed) that he can get out of when he was 2 (he wasn't all that interesting in his pacifier, so we were lucky enough to get rid of that before 18 months... I know, just lucky!). We are hoping to potty train him soon, but he's not that interested unfortunately... Having a hard time with that last hurdle towards "freedom"
(He's just turned 2 1/2 years old).
My daughter is pretty attached to her binky at bed and nap times, so I think that's where you (and me, too!), should start. Then I would say work on the bed and lastly, potty train. I'm not sure though... you could potty train before the bed... it's just whatever you feel is best. If it were me, which it will be very soon, I think I'd tackle one at a time and not all 3 at the same time. I just think that would be less stress on the child.
My brother's family: moved, took away the crib, took away the binkie, brought home a new baby and tried to potty train my niece all at the same time. Guess which one didnt work out well?
Answer: potty training. It was the one thing she had control over.
Your kid seems young to me- 2 1/2 - what's the rush (I know diapers are expensive but...) I think it's fine to let her keep the binkie and not worry about potty training unless everything seems to be going that direction naturally - I say even into 3 years old is fine to wait for potty training.
I've seen kids as old as 4 at the park with a binkie - it never bothered me much it's not like they are going to be going to kindergarten with it. (and I wouldnt judge someone for needing a binkie to sleep at night at any age- hello, life is hard and we all need to find comfort).
As far as the bed goes I cant comment- I co-sleep with my kids and they never spent a night in a crib at our house.
Our routine has always been: bath, 3 books and I stay with them until they are asleep - it isnt ideal I suppose but I think the point is to have a routine that you dont stray from.
Keeping that in mind I hope you go easy on your little sweetie.
I realize now how lucky I was with going through these transitions.
my son used a "binky" from the age of about two months old to four months old. He never REALLY seemed to care too much for it and when he started teething he would use the hard plastic to chew on so i just took it away at that point.
he went very happily to a big boy bed maybe a few months before his second birthday (guard rails on the bed so he can't roll off) he WILL climb out of his bed sometimes but he loves having his bed and his own pillow and blanket (the bed is a full sized twin bed so he sleeps at one end and just likes having his pillow there.) i crawl into his bed with him at bed time and we read our bed time stories together.
as for potty training..... haven't tackled that one just yet!
i think the most important thing is to make these adjustments FUN for your daughter.
if you really talk something up, she's going to get anxious and think it's a REALLY big deal.
don't avoid telling her about something. basically just let her be informed and part of the process.
let her help choose a new blanket for her big girl bed for example.
kids are pretty easy. make it FUN and they'll enjoy the fun along with it.
for the binky.
a really good idea is to have the "binky fair" visit.
(to get a better idea of this, go on youtube and do a search for "binky fairy" i first saw this concept on a show called Nanny 911 or maybe Supernanny, they're the same style of show)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKSc2cR0tGI
here's a video of a little girl happily talking about giving away her binkieos forever to the binky fairy so that the fairy can now give them to the babies who don't have binkies.
as far as potty training goes, the best method i've seen is the method that Dr. Phil uses to potty train in one day. it seems like SOOO much fun for the kids and I intend on using this method to potty train my kid.
here are two links. a youtube link to the video and also a link to his website where he has it written out in a list of what you need.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVcady5-uIU&feature=related
http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/264
NOTE: with potty training for both pee and poo keep LOTS of liquids on hands. make sure she is getting lots of fruits and vegetables. all it takes is ONE painful time trying to "poo" and she'll fear the potty. not good!
also you want to make sure she's drinking a lot of fluids so that she actually HAS to pee. if she doesn't need to pee then how is she expected to pee on the potty? lol.
have a lot of dry salty snacks. crackers, pretzels, chips.... these will make her very thirsty and she'll drink more causing her to need to pee!
i wish you all the best!!
feel free to message me privately and let me know how it goes. I really need to start the potty training myself since my son just started pre-school and he has to be out of diapers! so it's a bit of a rush.
With my son, at about 9 months he went to a toddler bed (keep in mind he's quite tall) because he kept pulling up on his crib. It was a crappy crib. He broke it.
At 18 mo, I had him take his binkies and throw them away.
He potty trained himself shortly after his second birthday, which I think is the best method. There is no need to push something they're not ready to do.
I'd recommend, the binky first. Comfort items are fine, like a teddy bear. When she's used to sleeping with out a binky, Then make the bed transition.
Let her potty train, don't force it...you risk regression.