Friday, 06 November 2009
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Potty Training: It’s An Accomplishment, Not A Competition
I overheard a conversation between two moms where one was lamenting that her 2.5 year old was not potty trained yet. The other mom was very consoling and offered a lot of advice and strategies for success.. While I listened I was thinking that you would be hard pressed to find anyone who will share the contents of their laundry basket with you when they proclaim that their 18 month old is fully potty trained. Really? Are you sure you are not just exaggerating, just a bit.
I'm not sure why there is it such a race for parents anyway except to have bragging rights over the age at which you accomplished such a miraculous feat. Diapers are expensive, so I get that motivation but why not let the cognitive ability of our children rule the push to train rather than the calendar or our competitive natures. You’ll know when they are ready and they certainly know when you know that they know. Translation- if they hide behind the couch to do number 2, it’s time.So congratulations to the accomplished moms and toddlers out there who have made it through the trial and error of getting out of diapers but let’s give a break to those who have not quite reached that milestone yet. It’s just as much an accomplishment at three as it would have been at two. Good job!!
What tips do you have for potty training?
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About the Author
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- From: P1AutismMom@autisable
- Name: Nancy
- About Me: I am busy raising my 2 boys, Brian 15 and Daniel 13 who has autism. My hope in life is to make at least 2 people smile every day and if I'm feeling really ambitious I'll try to make them laugh :) You can read more of my story by going to www.AutismMom.net and follow on twitter http://twitter.com/P1AutismMom
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Comments (46)
You are right...it's not a race, it's an accomplishment.
My plan is to get my son potty-trained by the time he is 15-18 months old. We practice elimination communication and it is AMAZING. It takes a lot of effort but it is so worth it. I love it when we can go the whole day without doing a diaper change because I watched my son's cues and got him to the potty on time. :) He's only five months so right now, it's more about me watching his cues than anything but he's making the connection that you go in the potty. We don't punish for accidents or anything...he's only five months. But....it's working. I can tell. When he needs to pee, he starts making funny faces and a "mmmmm" noise. I get him to the potty and he will pee. He even has his own baby potty and that has helped a lot. Plus, we do cloth diapers and supposedly that helps.
I dunno, we'll see how it all works out!
My brother was 3. :)
"While I listened I was thinking that you would be hard pressed to find
anyone who will share the contents of their laundry basket with you
when they proclaim that their 18 month old is fully potty trained.
Really? Are you sure you are not just exaggerating, just a bit."
^^ GREAT line. I don't have kids, but this post makes perfect sense.
I work with animals and it makes me think of the people who insist their 9 week old puppy is completely housebroken. Pffft. As long as the kids are potty trained by the time they start school (around age 4, right?) I don't see it as a huge deal. Most kids get to a point where diapers are embarrassing and uncomfortable - but they're all different and aren't going to get there at the exact same time!
I was 2 when I was potty trained, but I spent my childhood appalled that everyone in the house (parents and older bro) could do all these crazy things like read silently and use the bathroom by themselves, so I demanded to be taught. Haha. I was a weirdo.
My daughter is 15 months, and my husband believes she's ready to be potty trained. I'm not sure though. She did manage to get out of her diaper one night and peed in the bed, and she also goes to a special spot in the living room where she then poops her diaper. I have no idea where to start, though.
"How old were your kids when they accomplished potty training?" That is not my question, it's added by editors which is fine but in this case it kind of makes what I'm saying look hypocritical.
Like I said, it should not be a competition or a reason for shame should the number not be as impressive as Susie DoesNoWrong next door. :0)
@Brilliant_Innocence@xanga - You can start any time you feel you have the energy to track habits, schedule time to hang out in the bathroom and clean up after accidents. ha ha
Actually it is not too soon to start the process however I would advise that if your child is not yet standing up straight without holding onto something or they could potentially fall through the hole on the potty chair, it's just not worth getting too stressed out over. If and when you atart and things don't go smoothly, don't be ashamed to back-track a little, such as going from training pants back to pull-ups. Trust your instincts and good luck to you, your husband and your daughter.
@XxFireXboltxX@xanga - What you're doing is very cool! I've heard of it but don't know if I've heard from anyone who actually tried it. I have also heard that using cloth diapers helps kids potty train faster, because they can feel when they're wet. We plan to use cloth diapers for our kids if/when we have them. What kind do you use?
@whitetrashpoet@xanga - LOL, I am sitting here literally laughing, Imagining you at the age of two with your hands on your hips demanding Potty!!! ~ Potty!!! ~ Potty!!!. That is the funniest thing I’ve read all day. Thank you for your sensibilities and good humor.
@chelseanataliex@xanga - That is a perfectly reasonable age. I'm guessing most boys have the whole thing down pat by age 3 or just shortly after but then there are the exceptional peepee prodigies.
@P1AutismMom@autisable - I love how the editors ruin what people write. When I read that question at the end i was like "wait, isn't this post about NOT asking that question?" Not directly anti-that but... you know, hypocritical.
I'm eager to get through potty training because .. well, probably mostly because I want to be done with diapers on this kid (and start on another one....hehe). My son is 20 months and keeps going back and forth about how eager he is to use the toilet. That being said, I can't buy Undies small enough for him at just any store - so I'm not sure what I'd do if he were potty trained anyway.
@XxFireXboltxX@xanga - That is interesting and I truly hope it works out for you guys.
I do believe that cloth diapers were a motivator when they were the norm. Diaper rashes and baby powder. Yes, it's all coming back to me now. Fortunately they've come a long way since I was changing my nephew in the 70's using those big gnarly baby pins. Do they even use those anymore?? :)
@aliyagator@xanga - Thank you for recognizing that. I've argued this point before but the powers that be insist that you need a question at the end of a post to get the conversation started. Potty training? No, not a conversation starter at all. ha ha
Awww, 20 months is such a fun time. I miss it and the sounds of squishy plastic as they prance down the hallway with glee.
@P1AutismMom@autisable - The question could have been "What tips do you have for potty training?" instead of what it is....
@aliyagator@xanga - I know!!! Who are these editors anyway?? My son said they are frustrated journalism majors that can't get published. :0)
@P1AutismMom@autisable - could you suggest another question you'd like to add to the end of the post? We can suggest it to the editors. Thanks!
@aliyagator@xanga - Great suggestion!
@iheartemo26@xanga - We use Fuzzi Bunz and Bum Genius. I LOVE them...it's so easy. Elimination communication is cool too --- I have several friends who have used that method with great success. Actually, I don't know anyone who used the method correctly and it didn't work for them. Check out the diaper free baby book/website. Lots of info there! For cloth diapers look at kellyscloset.com. :D
@P1AutismMom@autisable - Nope...no pins at all, thank goodness!!! Cloth diapers are wonderful now, I hate using disposables when we have to use them. Ugh!
I kind of like that diaper free method of potty training. I'm not a parent. But maybe its something I would try some day. (Hey, it works with dogs?) lol
@eugenia@xanga - Lol the always delightful Eugenia.
my daughter was 2 and when she was ready , she let us know . all we did was take diapers away completely and just took her to the bathroom every hour and by the end of the day she would get ahold of it . at night though we used pull ups , we just didn't give her a drink up for 2 hours before bedtime and eventually the pull ups were gone . by 3 or 4 days she was potty trained during the day and it took about a month before the pull ups at night were gone .
@aliyagator@xanga - - Awesome!! We had a whole schedule posted on the door with stars and such. It was harder for our autistic son and took until he was 4 years old for number 1 and age 6 for number 2 but the methods where still consistency, lots of patience and praise. Thanks for stopping by and for your comments. :)
@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - My friend tried the bare butt method for a while and had to replace a lot of furniture when all was said and done. LOL Some things work with certain kids and a completely different method proves successful for another. It's a crap shoot, so to speak.
@eugenia@xanga - The question above from @MiSz_kEl_KeL@xanga is a great one as you said. "What tips do you have for potty training?" It lends itself to helpful responses rather than statistical data. Thanks!!
Children potty train at all different ages and I hate to see parents pressuring children needlessly just because everyone else has children that are "trained". I have worked with children all my life and I can tell you that most of the time it's the parents who are trained not the children. The parents are trained to take their children to the bathroom on a regular basis. When the parents don't do that the child will wets their pants. These parents hide the fact that their child has accidents or explain it with lame excuses like he had too much soda or she just starts playing and forgets to go etc. etc. In all my years working with children I have only met one two year old who was actually trained. This amazing little girl actually knew when she needed to go and went. Of course she still needed help with wiping but that was it. I did a summer camp with 5th and 6th grade girls. These girls are 10 & 11 years old and at least half of them still wet the bed and their parents are hiding it with pull-ups. This year I had 10 girls and 8 of them were "secretly" wearing pullups at night. If the parents would just be honest and supportive with one another the children would not need to feel so much shame. If these girls knew that most every other girl in the room had the same problem they would feel much better about themselves. On a postive note they almost always get the hang of it 100% before they graduate from highschool.
LOL, I was reading the comments and trying to figure out why the question that was posed at the end was drawing complaints. I realized that 1) I shouldn't read these things on no sleep because 2) it was already changed by the time I read it. I feel dumb now.
I have been through this four times thus far. I think all mine were trained around three, but I was never one to do the whole "my kid is trained at two" dance. They stopped wearing diapers when they were ready, not when I was ready. It worked well for us.
I still recall my ex SIL trying to convince us all that her daughter was trained at eighteen months. I don't know if she was or not, but the way the woman acted I felt like I should give her a cookie for a job well done.
Wait until they're ready, lol.
Don't use pull ups. Just take diapers away completely when you feel your child is ready and they'll learn. Take them to the bathroom frequently and offer lots of encouragement. To me- pull ups are just glorified diapers. Training pants (thick cotton underwear) is the best way to go.
We pretty much didn't potty train and most of our (6) kids were out of diapers pretty much overnight when they got ready around 3 yr. old. Our youngest was the biggest holdout and waited til just before her 4th birthday. Nice thing about this method was no accidents after the first day or so and only a few weeks til they stopped needing a pullup at night. We did have one that occasionally (3 or 4 times a year) wet the bed til about 4th grade.