Thursday, 05 November 2009
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A Minority Amongst the Majority: Growing Up in America
As mentioned in my “About Me” I’m of Egyptian origin, and I’m also a Muslim. I lived my childhood growing up in the United States, so I was a minority, but the way my parents raised me never made me feel different or left out. My parents are religious and practice Islam in their every day life and have raised my brother and I as such since we were very young, and living in America they let us grow up American as well.
Our parents let us get dressed up for Halloween and go trick or treating, and come Christmas they left us gifts at the foot of the bed supposedly placed there by Santa Claus, during Valentine they helped me write out Valentine cards for my classmates and whenever a school event took place I was dressed in the appropriate colors and attended just like any other kid. I also felt real special that I had extra Islamic holidays to celebrate and receive gifts for that my classmates did not. For all that I’m really grateful and glad they let me live a normal happy childhood.
A lot of people didn't agree to my parents way, saying as Muslims we shouldn't celebrate western holidays and we should live separate lives and be surrounded by Muslim friends at all times. My parents reasoned that as children we were too young to understand or appreciate our religion and we’d feel different from the majority, all the kids dressed up in their favorite character costumes for Halloween and got tons of candy, so if hadn't we would have resented our religion, Christmas time, all the good kids would get a gift from Santa, if we did not we’d think we were bad that year and wouldn't understand that because of our religion we don’t celebrate Christmas. My parents didn't go all out or make a big deal they just satisfied our childhood urges, egos and self esteem . They knew that once we grew up and better understood our religion we would leave behind trick or treating and Santa Claus, and naturally we did, both my brother and I are practicing Muslims and proud of our religion.
A relative of ours, didn't allow her daughter to do any of that and when events took place at school they’d keep her home that day. They constantly surrounded her with other Muslim children. Much to the disappointment of her mother she grew up and went through an Atheist phase, resenting the religion that had set her apart from her classmates. The mother didn't understand what went wrong. I see a lot of my friends in the United States doing the same as this relative did, with their children, I know it’s difficult to be the minority and wanting to hold on to faith and culture and I pray they’re doing the best for their children in both the short term and long term.Did your cultural background, religion or traditions ever clash with Western holidays/traditions? What has been your experience?
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About the Author
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- From: sarahkmm
- Name: Sarah
- About Me: I'm a stay at home mommy, raising a little monkey I mean little boy :D I'm an American of Egyptian origin currently living in Saudi Arabia. I'm new to the blogging world and just write what's on my mind, and greatly enjoying reading other parenting blogs and seeing how we're all going through the same things.
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Comments (13)
That's really cool. I'm glad your parents did that.
I don't understand why your religion prevents you from celebrating Western holidays. But then again I don't understand much about your religion at all, I guess. Maybe that's because so many Muslim parents keep their children isolated?
I was born in China and raise in Hong Kong till age 13, I came to this country for 15 years. My parents are semi-conservative, due to my influences. They never force for to believe in any religion, but they taught me to do good deeds. Honestly, I dont think we should classify people by their religion, not all Buddhist are giving, not all Christian pray, my point is, as long as you treat others the way you want to be treated, you are a better being.
So if I keep doing good deed, and one day I see Jesus in Heaven. Do you think he will say, "Hm... sorry Steve, I know you are good person, but you didn't worship me, so you have to go to hell." I won't wanna stay in heaven if Jesus is like that. I help elder people, do volunteer works and support my friend, before I read the holy book or the bible.
Think about it, ethnicity, race, gender, religion, "chromosomes" (got to add that) causes segragation between nations and individuals. Parents should really teach their kids to explore and think from the heart, instead of believeing blindly on what they think their kids should believes.
I had the opposite. I was born & raised here in the States. My love for Anime, Manga & the culture of Japan led me to seek out Japanese theme places here & I found a museum. When I found out they hosted Bon Festivals & educational projects, I immediately signed up my mom & her then-bf to go. They were hesitant at first thinking we'd be the only non-Japanese people there. XD A lot of people of different races & religions went & had fun. Mom liked it so much, we try to go atleast once a year for the exhibits & stuff.
I think if people look into other cultures & find common ground, they wont clash & find they actually have fun. Although my mom gets annoyed when I leave my shoes outside the door still, I dont think she minds the other stuff I follow from the Japanese culture. LOL
Wow. your parents sound amazing. =)
No, I was raised for the holidays and not in religion at all. When I got older and found faith on my own, I researched the origins of the western holidays. I was pleased to find that I could not only still participate but also that they fit my faith perfectly, lol.
My children are 1 & 5. My oldest wants to go to a church that isn't part of our faith. We're having a really hard time coming to an agreement, Nick thinks he's too young. I think we'll let him attend with a grain of salt and make sure he knows our beliefs too. When he's older he can choose what's right for him. Until then, it is Halloween, Christmas, and Easter. XD
My parents are Muslim and raised my siblings and myself to be Muslim too. And though we always celebrated Valentine's Day, Halloween, and Thanksgiving, etc. If a holiday was blatantly associated with another religion (like Christmas or Diwali), it would not necessarily be celebrated in our house , but we did have things we would do for them outside of the house.
Yet, I am still an Atheist. My parents were not extreme in their views, nor were they restrictive towards us. You make it sound as if Atheism is just an extreme reaction to being stifled by religion and culture. I beg to differ; Atheism is a result of me being able to think for myself and see alternate explanations for such things as creation and the end of time.
Another thing that irks me about this particular entry is that it feels like you are trying to show how liberal and open-minded Muslims can be by showing the normalized/moderate example of your own family. I do not think it is necessary, because you are merely setting Muslims more apart. Think of it this way: If there was a post talking about a Jewish family who got to celebrate Valentine's Day, would it even be noteworthy? Would people be leaving comments like, "WOW! Your parents are great!" No, they wouldn't, because that is expected.
Both my parents are Serbian Orthodox Christians meaning we celebrate Christmas on January 7th New Years on January 14th and depending on the year Easter at a different time as well. At first I did feel left out from other kids at school. The other kids would come to school with all new toys and clothes and talking about their holiday festivities. For Orthodox Christmas we dont really put a huge emphasis on the presents as much as the actual holiday and importance. Meaning me and my brother usually got one toy and maybe some clothes or money. My parents didnt have too much money either so basically whatever my parents had left was what they would spend on presents. When I was in middle school I embraced being unique and not celebrating on the days that normal American kids celebrated. It set me apart from the rest. Once I started high school because I went to school with more people who are from the Balkans like me and I had some people to identify with.
It sounds like you had such wonderful parents! Your post was very touching.
My parents only approve of me marrying some Catholic/Vietnamese guy, because I'm Catholic/Vietnamese. I love my culture, but I respect everyone else. Yet at the same time, I'm not going to be angry about the difficult adjustment in America. I know everyone is different, and there are reasons why people discriminate against my kind, and why my parents are also discriminating against other people. I will marry anyone I want.
@michcoy@xanga - @feelslikejuly@xanga - Thank you, I truly believe they are, I often joke telling them to raise my kids so they can have a wonderful childhood as well.
"Whoever imitates a people is one of them." I'm also Muslim and my husband and I do not celebrate non-Muslim holidays. I'm a convert so not celebrating Christmas is weird to me but I like Eid Al Fitr and Eid Al Adha. We should not imitate the Kafir in dress, manners, custom or speech. [3.28] Let not the believers take the unbelievers for friends rather than believers; and whoever does this, he shall have nothing of (the guardianship of) Allah, but you should guard yourselves against them, guarding carefully; and Allah makes you cautious of (retribution from) Himself; and to Allah is the eventual coming.
We will not let our children celebrate non-Muslim holidays or have non-Muslim friends due to the above verse. I'm thankful that my grandparents respect my religion and will not force their beliefs on our children.
My parents didn't belive in santa or celebrating halloween. But they allowed us to celebrate in a way compliant with their religion. We would dress up on halloween in more wholesome costumes (an angle or animal or superhero as long as they were modest instead of a witch or vampire or axe murderer) and we would have a fall party with our family and maybe some friends and there would be candy here. For christmas instead of having oresents from santa we would all buy oresents for each other(sometimesmy parents would give us multiple ones) they tried to teach us that christmasisa time for charity and giving and we would always give old toys and clothes to charity. They also tried to make sure we understood that it was better to give nice things toothers than to recieve. At easter they might hide eggs for us but the easter bunny didn't visit us instead we would swap small gifts with each other. I think all in all my experience was good andI will probably do something similar with my children.
@MH - You make it sound like only atheist think for themselves.