Thursday, 29 October 2009
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5 Things About Babies I Know Are True But Cannot Prove
Five Things About Babies I Know Are True But Cannot Prove
1) Babies can hear your eyelids close and can smell how tired you are. Both of these senses activate a special adrenal gland in the baby that causes them to become wide awake and want to play until 3am.
2) Changing a babies diaper causes a baby to need another diaper change immediately. This endless cycle is meant to drive parents crazy making it easier for baby to begin the process of wrapping the parent around their finger for future manipulation.
3) The smell of baby poop can keep away all predators in a 100 mile radius.
4) If you are wearing a clean shirt or are getting ready to go to work/ out on a date a baby will purposly spit up on you. This is to prevent other babies from claiming you as their dady or mommy in much the same fashion as a dog marks his territory.
5) Babies can instinctivly tell how much breast milk is stored in the refridgerator and in what size bottles it is stored. If you have 4 oz bottles the baby will cry and casue you to warm up two of them were as he will only drink 5 of the 8 ounces before falling asleep. If you use larger bottles he will cry until you warm up the bottle and then promptly fall asleep before the feeding.
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About the Author
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- From: Dadosaurus_Rex@xanga
- Name: Christopher
- About Me: Sarcastic, opinionated, humorous, Army veteran, Bipolar, atheist, Stay-At-Home Dad. That about sums it up I'd think.
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Comments (25)
An amendment to number 3: ...unless the predator is your beagle and the offending diaper has been carelessly dropped into the tall, covered kitchen trash rather than run outside to the locking garbage cans. In that case? It acts like a magnet and you will find the beast on the living room rug with her "prize".
*dry heeves at the memory* Yeah. That only happened once. Now all dirties go outside immediately.
LOL.
Haha!
XD!!! So true...That's why I leave the right the second I get babies into their cribs.
I never got spit up on me until I was visiting mysister & my niece Emma was then a newborn. I fed her & was holding her & next thing I know, my boob was covered in spit up (yes it was THAT much!). It was my only sleep shirt I brought so I had to borrow my sister's shirt. LOL
Number 4 and 5 totally true, no doubt!
Hey do you know my kids???
Too true!!!
LOL... well, at least you still have your sense of humor!
I used to always gag at my sister wiping baby spit-up from her shirt and proceeding to go out to dinner - that was before I had a child. Now, I'm covered in spit-up or snot half the time, and you know what? I don't really care anymore...
@filtered_sunlight - Eeewww! Dogs are so sweet - but SO yukkie sometimes!
I agree with all of your points. You might want to add one more: Your baby will instinctively poop on cue and up the back when you are already running late and have one foot out the door.
@bekkielynn@xanga - oh that is so true! It just happened to me this morning before work!! And it was up the front of her belly too!! LOL
@filtered_sunlight - Excellent amendment!
Oh, the joys
#4 has been a long running joke around here. All are true though. I can't prove them either, but the anecdotal evidence is strong!
lol..
Very, very true.
This a great list!!!
@filtered_sunlight - LMAO! I dont know how I missed that story when it happened!
@der_lila_Stern@xanga - I don't know that story ever broke...it's been a while... I cursed the dog to hell and back and was too grossed out to even think about it for a while. LOL I'll add it to the list of reasons why I'm a cat person...you can bet none of them would have done that!!
Haha, Good list.
HAHAHA! That was GREAT! My son has been doing his darndest to drive me positively BATTY. He's awake and raring to go at 3 am. Plus, the whole spiting up on mommy thing, yeah, that too- right before work.
I have to leave the house with him at 7:15 in order to make it to work on time, and to drop him off to his father. I raise my hand to God that at least twice a week, at exactly 7:14, he poops. Every other day, it's just a few minutes before then. I could literally set my clock by his straining.
This list really made me regain my sanity, lol. I'm not the only mother of a slightly evil, but incredibly cute baby. :)
Aren't these the truth!
Too true!
LOL Awww cute.
6) Babies, even in another room, know exactly when you are about to eat.
It doesn't matter when or where I eat, or how long it takes me to make it, or how long it sits on my plate, my son starts screaming the EXACT moment I put the fork in my mouth. Every Single Time. He's fed, changed, and has about a million toys around him as well as Baby Einstein on, he still screams.
@NotUeberMommy - I know right, by now I just wipe the drool and nose mess by hand if I havent already raided her diaper bag for a wipe. My daughter's father still cant stand the drool. Wimp!!! I think I have enough of his DNA back to create another baby from him.LOL.
wrapping the parent around their finger for future manipulation LOLLLLLLL
Haha! I've noticed these things also :]