Wow, that's really harsh. Makes me think of the House episode where he goes to his father's funeral and can't say anything good.

Even if you truly felt someone was a heinous person, their funeral is a place for people to celebrate their life and mourn their loss. It is not a place to recall that person in a negative light - it's just bad taste, and I'm sorry you had to experience that.

Hello
Hey I agree this is really harsh and you have gone from so
much pain.You had experience so much in your life.By the way image is
very touchy.Thank you very much for sharing this with us.

thats really horrible.

it made me really think. i thought of how over protective my dad is, how he is always calling me and how i feel embarassed about it when im with my friends and he calls.

then i realised its only because he cares.

@filtered_sunlight - Thank you!! You are so sweet :)   We'll just have to outlive everyone, right? LOL 

@whitetrashpoet@xanga -  The weird thing is that he was a pretty mellow and soft-spoken individual.  Maybe the fact that he was not very interactive as far as coaching, hanging out, etc did not provide memories beyond the few and I mean few times he lost it.  Makes me want to study psychology :)

@yvonneeeeeeeeeee@xanga -  Awww, sounds like a good guy.  Give him a big hug and tell him that next time you see him.   It will absolutely make his day :)

@REDPOPPY1@xanga -  Keeping quiet,  Yep, That's generally my rule, mostly because I come close to passing out anytime I try to speak in public.  ha ha 

@whitetrashpoet@xanga -  Bad taste and sometimes just plain ignorance.  It's perplexing to say the least.  

@filtered_sunlight - Why do you not want to have a funeral? Have you considered the fact that after you are dead, your loved ones might need some closure? In my minds, the funeral is about the people who loved the deceased as much as it is about the deceased - they are, well, gone, after all.. But the people who need to go on with their lives somehow may need that ceremony in which to celebrate your life and say goodbye. (I speak from personal experience - I lost my dad at a young age, and although the ceremony was hard to get through, I am glad I was allowed to attend it. I needed the closure - as a child, you fantasize "what if dad is really still alive?")

Having said all that, I do think it is highly inappropriate to speak ill of the dead. If you don't like 'em, either keep your peace or don't go to the funeral..

This was definitely a great post! I'm also having a guest list for my funeral. :)

@NotUeberMommy - I completely agree with you.  Having had the unfortunate experience of having 2 people pass in the past 18 months that did not have funerals (one intentionally and one had a selfish family that wanted to get back to their lives) I can tell you it was a truly miserable experience for those left behind to not have any way of marking the occasion together.  To think only of yourself, even in death, is unreal. 

And while I agree that saying unkind things about the deceased at their funeral is a big no-no it's important to keep in mind that stress and grief do weird things to people.  Also siblings do not experience the family dynamic the same.  My son will have different memories of what type of mom I am than the twins will simply by virtue of having been born 8 years earlier, having lived during different life circumstances and having a different temperament type than his sisters.