Tuesday, 06 October 2009
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I Want To Get Pregnant Again
Maybe.
I go back and forth about this. At times, I really want another baby. Other times, I feel so overwhelmed with one kid, that I don't think I could handle another one. 21 is pretty young to have 2 kids, but I know lots of people manage. I just miss being pregnant. I keep seeing pictures of pregnant women, and they look so cute. That was the last time I loved by body, when I was pregnant. I know, that is no reason to get pregnant, but it doesn't hurt. I want to experience that again, morning sickness, labor pain, and all.
I miss being able to hold my son all day. And the way he smelled when he was a newborn. Anyone with a baby probably knows what I'm talking about. I don't know why they smell that way, but it's the best smell in the world.
I feel kind of like it wouldn't be fair for my son to have to share his mommy and daddy with a new baby. I might miss out on him learning a lot of new things, because I'd be too focused on a newborn. On the other hand, I think if they're closer in age, they'll be friends when they get older. If there's a big gap between them, I don't think they would be able to relate to each other very well. My sister is 20 months younger than me, and we're best friends. We have been our whole lives. There's nothing better than having your best friend living in the same house.
My husband is all for us having another baby. He said he would wait 2 years at the most. Any later than that and we'd be too old. (23! haha) He wants to still be young when they turn 18, so we'll be able to do all the fun stuff we never got to do before we had kids. I know once I get pregnant, there's no turning back. I guess I would have no way of knowing what 2 kids is like, until I'm actually in that situation.
Does anyone remember what it was like going from 1 kid to 2? Was it a huge change?
Am I crazy to want another one?
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About the Author
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- From: CombinedEffort@xanga
- Name: Kim
- About Me: I'm 21 yrs old, married to my best friend since 07/13/07 and we have a 2 year old son. His name is Raiden, and he is my world.
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Comments (29)
You're most definitely not crazy - I think you should go for it!
My husband and I are the same way. We aren't as young as you and your hubby but we want to be "young" still when our kids graduate from college so we can go and spend some time together. :)
My son is 4 months but if we got pregnant, I wouldn't be crushed. Although I would like to give my body at least a year to recover!
Everyone will say "Oh, babies are expensive..." etc...but they are only as expensive as you allow them to be!!
Baby fever is hard to silence and if you and your husband feel like you are ready for another one, why not? :)
Going from one kid to two was much, much easier than going from zero to one. My kids are only 13 months apart, and it's been challenging, but I absolutely love it now that they're 2 and 3.
go for it
It is hard to go from one to two, but the adjustment is pretty gradual since you have that "easy newborn" phase where they just eat, sleep, and poop.
Mine are 15 months apart and while I'm exhausted most of the time, it's totally worth it. It's hardest on the days where both are never asleep at the same time, but eventually you'll get a schedule going and it'll seem like you've always had two! 
we have them about two years apart.. we are now 24 and honestly im glad they arient any further apar
@Morningstarrising@xanga - that's good to hear. I guess that makes sense though. After you've already had one, the next would be easier.
I'm 22 and I have a 3 year old and an 11 month old and I love it. The transition was completely natural. And I certainly want more. I love the first 2 years, and how quickly they grow and learn. I also love being pregnant though, so I don't want to overlap the two, so I can enjoy them both. I'm fairly certain we won't have another when our youngest turns 2, but that's for reasons other than wanting to wait.
It was completely different for my sister though. In fact, her kids are 3 and 1 and she's still wondering if she can handle it. But we also have completely different personalities, our kids have different personalities and we parent completely differently. So I guess it only makes sense that we'd feel completely differently too! LOL
These are totally questions I'm currently asking myself! My husband and I always thought we wanted our kids to be about 2 years apart, but with our little guy turning 1 next month, that means we'd have to start trying to get pregnant in the very near future! To be perfectly honest, we both feel that that's way too soon for us and our family to be doing the pregnant wife/infant child thing again. (Not that the first time around wasn't perfectly enjoyable, because it really was, it just feels too soon to be doing it all over again. Anyone else relate?)
Sigh. What to do, what to do.
my kids are a little less than 2 years apart, and now that my youngest is one and walking, they're buddies and i couldn't be happier...i won't lie, it was hard, and we had some jealousy with the older one here and there, but again, that first year is over, and it's great, i'm glad they are close...i also am young, although not quite as young as you, and i have my third on the way...i expect that will be a harder change, but it's our last, and all our kids will be close in age, and that's the way we wanted it...i don't know how old your child is, but i would at least give your body a year break to recover from labor and delivery...it was much harder to recover the second time around without having given myself enough attention after the first one
we wanted our kids to be 2-3 years apart but unfortunatly its not going to happen for us that way. We are like you and your husband though we are 23 and 24 and we want to have our kids young so we can enjoy our lives after the children are grown too. Personally I say go for it. You will never know how you really feel about having 2 kids untill you have 2 but from the sounds of things I think you will do great! Our daughter wants a little sister SO bad but unfortunatly we have lost 2 babies this year so Im not so sure she will get her wish, but I think you are right in thinking that having the kids closer together will make them closer. My siblings and I are all 5 years apart and we just never seemed to get along that well growing up. At that age diffrence we were always at completly diffrent stages in our lives so we never got to have that best friend relationship.
I think you are wrong about the age gap mattering in how close your children are when they get older. I think it makes a difference while growing up, but not later in life. I have 2 sisters. One is 2 years older (almost to the day) and the other is 7 years older. I am very close with both of them. The one that is 2 years older was much closer to me while growing up, but I wouldnt have any of it any different!
And I totally know what you mean about baby fever. It is really hard to turn off!
The newborn/infant smell is definitely the best smell in the entire world! I want to start having kids in the next few years and I always get called crazy for it, but I feel to each his/her own. If both you & your husband are ready to have another child, GO FOR IT! =)
Have a cute baby:)
Im going the same thing, thinking about baby number 2 a lot now, my son just turned 2, a couple of weeks ago, and I want the age difference to be around 3 like it is between my bro and I, we've always been really close. So that means I need to get pregnant before the end of the year, excited about having a baby and getting a sibling for my son, but not excited at all about pregnancy, my last pregnancy was kinda difficult, but I guess it's all worth it.
Baby fever is tough to put aside, I guess go for it.
1 kid to 2 was awesome but then I always knew I wanted my children to have siblings and I wanted them to be close in age. My oldest 2 are 18 months apart and the first year was difficult but also very special. My oldest doesn't even remember a time when he didn't have sibling and he and his oldest sister are very close now. Our 3rd child came 3+ years later and to me that is much too big of a gap. I wish that she had come sooner because I think she would have more in common with her siblings and be able to relate better to them. Don't worry about how your son will adjust, a sibling is a beautiful gift and it is another person to love him in addition to mommy and daddy. Love is not limited, like a piece of a pie, it multiples exponentially to make room for more!
I commend you for being a responsible, dedicated parent at 20 - I know I couldn't have done it! I had my son at age 33 (I'm 36 now, he is 2 1/2) and I find it difficult. BUT... if I had been able to get pregnant (physically, as well as financially and practically.. long story) I totally would have gotten pregnant before his second birthday. The baby fever was worst for me then.
I don't know if I'll be able to carry another baby due to physical problems, but we're planning to try as soon as I graduate and find a job with some stability (last time my contract was terminated while I was pregnant, and I was unable to work for 1 1/2 years after that). Eeek.
About the age thing - if I had had the stability at that age, I would have loved to have a family while I was still young. I do love all the things I got to do before I had a baby (like get a degree), but since you already have a family and are young, I say: go for it! Sounds like you two are ready. And from what I hear, going from one to two is WAAAY easier than going from zero to one child...
Your situation is very similar to that of mine. I'm 20 years old and I have a 3 yr. old daughter. I got pregnant when I was 16 and had her when I was 17. At that time, I didn't know whether I was able to handle such a big responsibility and I was afraid of being those types of moms who was not able to provide much for their child. But I was wrong. She has made my life so complete and I survived it. At least this far.
I also want another baby. I'm young, I know, but my daughter is already 3 and if I wait any longer, there will be too much of a gap between them. I also loved the feeling of being pregnant and I loved the way I looked and the way I felt. It was a great experience. I'm going to try next year for another one. My husband is finishing his last year of college and when he graduates, he'll become a radiologist technician. He wants us to wait a little bit longer because of the financial issues and he wants to know that if we do plan on having another one, it's because we're ready and because it's something we both want. And I really want another baby!
Anyways, no you're not crazy for wanting another baby.
Kids closer in age have a better chance of being friends, but they also fight more.
I wanted my first two to be close in age as well. My brother and I were 14 months apart and always extremely close. But, God had other plans and my first two are 5 years apart, about the difference between my older sister and I. It turns out, I love the gap in their ages. It gave me five incredible years with my oldest (and 3 and 4 were crazy hard years), and I got to enjoy being pregnant with the second, got to enjoy alone time with him while big brother was in school. And big brother is a great help, and responsible enough that I have to worry less when they are alone in a room together. Having had such a hard time getting pregnant with number two, my hubby and I decided not to use birth control. We knew we would be pleased to have three. Well, my youngest turns one this month and I am pregnant. I didn't forsee the emotions that came with finding out. I expected to be nothing but thrilled. You never really know about anything until you face it for yourself. So plan as well as you can, and then take what comes, whatever it is as a blessing. My sister and I are much closer now that we are both moms. Good luck!
my kids are 17 1/2 months apart. I was 20 with two kids. It was hard for me because i still lived at home with my mom my son was premature and when he came home at 3 months old i still had to get up every 3 hours with an alarm and feed him. I worked from 3:30 p.m till 11:30 p.m so when i got home I would get my son up feed him and hope he did not wake the other one up lol. feed him and he was on like 2 ozs when he cam home and it took him anywhere from 30 to 60 min to drink a bottle. then i would go to sleep about 1 a.m. wake up at 3 a.m. feed my baby go to bed about 4 p.m and get up at 6 got back to bed 7 to sleep for about another hour or two if i was lucky. then take care of my other son while caring for a sick baby. after a few months it got easier since i could let him eat when he wanted to. I like that my kids are close in age . I am 31 and my son is 12 and my baby will 11 in nov. I will still be young when they graduate and i can be a young grandma and i like that my mom was 38 when she became a grandma from me lol. well good luck if you want a nother one have one
know the feeling. Mine is 2 next month and I am really feeling the itch. But I can't have anymore kids until I lose the 90 lbs I've gained since I had my first kid. sigh. Anywho, It's gonna be at least a year I think. Probably for the best though.
Wow, I had my first baby at 33, so I must be WAY too old to have another....NOT
Anyways, I know how you feel. I loved being pregnant and giving birth was one of the most exciting things in my life. That being said, I am not sure if I want another one. My daughter is 1, though, so I better figure it out!!
@passionateworship@xanga - my son is 20 months old, so I've had plenty of time to recover. haha I'm still not quite where i want to be with my weight, i have about 10 more pounds to go. maybe i should wait until i lose that, or else it will be impossible
I was ready to have another about a week after I had my son. lol I would love to have another baby but my fiance and I decided to try to space them at least two years apart. Because his daughter is 3 and our son it 8 months. I absolutely loved being pregnant. I miss it a lot sometimes too.