Friday, 02 October 2009
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My Son & My Selfishness
also posted on Samantha Krieger
Life with a child… there’s simply nothing in the world like it. It’spretty wild the influence our culture has had on me when it comes tohaving children: they’re too much work, they’ll ruin your fun, youwon’t be able to do anything anymore, you’ll become older faster, yourcareer will be over, they’ll be a burden to you and others… the list goes on.
While children are certainly hard work it is the best hard work I’ve ever done. I’m only four months into it all, but I feel like I can say that getting up multiple times at night, nursing non-stop around theclock, changing 25 diapers a day, washing spit up out of my hair and clothes, taking multiple trips to the doctor, and putting whatever need John has before my own has been worth all the sweat and tears. He has been everything but a burden. He’s been a beautiful addition to of marriage.
Most of all, my son is teaching me to be Self-lesswhich is something I think our world doesn’t want. It’s hard to give upself. It’s painful sometimes to put someone else’s needs before ourown. Sometimes I just want things my way, when I want them. And don’ttell me anything different. But God calls me to deny my self. He callsme to higher living because life’s more abundant when I’m not looking into mirrors all day.
My friend Bethany’s mom would always tell her, “Marriage strips awayone layer of selflishness and having children strips away the rest.” I couldn’t agree more.
How are you learning to be selfless as you participate in the wonderful role of "Mommy"?
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About the Author
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- From: samantha@revelife
- Name: samantha
- About Me: I'm a writer in Dallas, Texas. Check out my site at www.samanthakrieger.com
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Comments (10)
That's an awesome picture.
I could not agree with you anymore. I heard the same thing about kids and I will admit it was hard to let my old self go and strip it down to the basic necessities. I love every milli-second I am a mom. My mom told me when I was pregnant the day you have your kid you will know what true love is to give someone your all, for someone to mean everything to you,the mean of sacrifice that you will go without things for yourself so your kid could have what they want to see their smiling faces, and remember until the baby is an adult it will no longer be about you ever it will always be about your baby( she was joking about that part but I couldn't agree more).
btw Nice post!
From the moment I got pregnant, it was no longer about me. It was about my son. He always has and always will come first. I feel the same way for my step daughter. In the end, when it comes down to it, I want what is best for the children. Then, my fiance, then me.
I agree 100%.. although i may be mocked soon.. So if it come here I am sorry.. great post though.
I totally agree about the stripping off layers of selfishness through marraige and parenthood. The #1 thing that makes our marraige work is putting the other person's wants and needs above our own. We both do it, and it works wonderfully. At first, it was really hard b/c I kept thinking he was supposed to be doing everything right and go along with whatever I said. Then I realized I was being selfish. It was sort of surprising, but once we realized that selfishness was the problem, we have done much better. We pretty much never fight, and even when we do, we get over it very quickly. I heard or read once that every time a couple has a disagreement, it is because one or both of them is being selfish. So true!
I'm expecting my first baby towards the end of this month/beginning of November. I've always loved children and couldn't wait to have my own (although this one came a little ahead of our plans...which was probably us being selfish, lol). I will put his needs above my own, but I will put my marraige first where my children are concerned too. No one benefits when the marraige is starved for attention. We plan on working as a team to raise our children and while we will take care of their needs to the best of our ability, we will take the time to take care of each other first. If we don't, we won't be putting forth a good example of marraige to our children. The most important thing parents can do for their children is love each other, I think.
25 diapers a day? That's a bit of an exaggeration, don't you think?
I disagree with most of your post. I take care of myself first so that I am at my best to take care of my children.
The last person to comment mentions taking care of yourself so that you are at your best to take care of your children. That is definitely a need. I have been a mom for 25 years and am now a grandma to a 2 month old. We adopted 2 children when our oldest children were teenagers and that has been QUITE the experience! Becoming a mom with my birth children taught me selflessness. Adopting children with a difficult past showed me how selfish I still was and brought me to the point of growing even more in being selfless. BUT, I do need to take time to refresh so that I can be a good mom to my children. I took one evening a week when my older children were small and I have taken as much as a week away (alone) in the past few years. The key, I think, is to listen to ourselves. Each mom is different. We all reach a point where we need some "me" time and we aren't selfish to take some. I'm with my children the majority of the time. I have a 9 year old special needs son who can only attend school 2 hours a day right now. So, taking breaks is very necessary for me. I agree, God calls us to deny ourselves. But, Jesus took time away to pray and be alone with His Father. To be away from the crowds. I endorse refreshment. Those weeks that I take away are when I can really connect with God. I come home with a healthier attitude and lighter in my heart. BTW - Grandkids are GREAT!!!! LOL
Great comments ladies! Thank you for the advice. And yes 25 was an exaggeration :) but you get the point.
先說年號問題，明朝皇帝在位時間再長， 酒店兼差年號也只有一個，惟獨他特殊，在位總共不過十五年，年號卻有兩個，前一個叫正統，後一個叫天順。倒不是因為他非要搞特權，兩個年號之間， 禮服店是由一大堆可氣的事串起來的。
先說正統朝，差不多是地球酒店打工人都知道的，這麼多的忠良幹才他不信任，偏寵信一個教書先生出身的太監王振， 一幹閹党把國家禍害得烏煙瘴氣。後來瓦剌犯邊，忠臣良將的苦勸不聽，偏聽死太監攛掇，非要御駕親徵， 合法酒店經紀帶著幾十萬人牛氣哄哄出了長城，按說既然親徵你就好好 打啊，他不，走到半道又後悔了，連敵人影 酒店工作都沒見著就撤兵，撤兵麼撤得快點啊，跑還沒跑成，讓人家圍在土木堡包了餃子，稀裏糊塗一場 酒店上班混戰，幾十萬大軍全死 光，連本人也當了俘虜。丟人到如此，實在可氣。
英宗被抓到蒙古高原上去啃生羊肉了， 酒店兼職爛賬總要有人收拾。皇帝讓人綁了，敵人打到家門口了，總不成學宋朝 來個衣冠南渡吧！還好喝酒 有他親弟弟給他收拾，弟弟朱祁鈺繼承帝位，改年號為景泰，可氣的正統朝總算結束了。景泰帝信用 酒店PT良臣于謙，成功組織北京保衛戰打垮敵 人，再運用外交壓力，逼得酒店喝酒 瓦剌把英宗放回來當太上皇，總算不用學宋徽宗那樣客死他鄉。折騰半天，祖宗江山差點丟了不說 禮服酒店，皇位也折騰沒了。這樣的鬧劇，怪不 得別人。
雖是傻事敗事一籮筐，但傻人總算有傻福，雖說皇位沒了， 台北酒店經紀命還是保住了，回來舒舒服服過太上皇的日子倒也 不交際應酬 錯，可他不消停，拉幫結派培植私人勢力，幾年後趁著弟弟病重搞了場“奪門之變”。奪粉味 回了皇位不說，上臺第一件事就是殺掉了功臣于謙。並把當初北京保衛戰 的功臣們來了個大清洗，掌握朝政大權的都是徐有貞、石亨、曹吉祥等一幫姦險小人。雖然過了沒幾年，這幾個人也被明英宗清算，下獄的下獄（石亨），充軍的充 軍（徐有貞） 寒假打工，被殺的被殺（曹吉祥），可明朝的政治氣象，還是一片烏煙瘴氣。
皇位奪回來了，自然就要改年號。於是，明英宗 兼差改年號為天順。從正統年到天順年，打敗仗，殺忠良，寵小人，亂國家，儘是他辦的敗事， 酒店小姐每每讀史到此，不知有多少人氣得 酒店公關直哆嗦。
可正統朝的事畢竟年頭遠了，真正給後 暑假打工世攢下麻煩的，是天順朝。
“天順”麼，按字面意思，自然有風調雨順的意思。 打工從這個意義上說，“天順”朝時代的明朝，運氣還真不 壞，別的且不說，單說綁過明英宗票的瓦剌，那在土木堡創下台北酒店經紀擊敗明朝幾十萬大軍，活捉明朝皇帝偉業的瓦剌首領也先，沒死在大對頭明朝手裏，倒在內戰中被一刀 砍死。到了天順朝時期，瓦剌又和鄰居韃靼打個不停，因此，雖然少了良將於謙，但終天順一朝的邊 酒店境形勢，還算是太平無事。