Today I will be traveling with an infant. Thank you in advance for the help that most of you will offer me. Before we board the next flight, I understand a few of you have some questions and comments, so let me just answer them all now.
She is 3 months old. Yes, I know she’s big. Thank you, she is beautiful. All that hair? She was born with it. No, I do not feed my child “Miracle Grow,” I hear it’s not safe before 4 months. No, I didn’t do anything special to give her all this hair. Yes, I had heartburn. No, it’s not her first flight it is actually her third. Yes, she is a well-mannered baby, obviously, as you’ve been taunting her by snatching her toy away from her and she’s not crying. I did deliver vaginally. I pushed for 2 ½ hours. Yes, we want more. Yes, I plan to deliver them vaginally too. I do breastfeed. Yes, I did have sore nipples at first. You couldn’t nurse past 2 weeks? I’m sorry to hear that. Oh, your son is 56 now, that’s interesting. We are on our way home after visiting her grandparents. Yes, she is the first, on both sides! Oklahoma. Virginia. My husband is in the Navy. We were really lucky, he got home just in time for the birth. Thank you for asking, you may touch her socked foot for 3 seconds.
Now then, I realize some of you may be less than thrilled to board a flight with a baby. Let’s cover a few things. This is public transportation. In other words, if I can pay for the flight, we are allowed to be on it, just like you. Catching a nap on a 1 hour and 15 minute flight is not your inalienable right. If you want a different experience, I recommend you charter a private plane next time or at least invest in some earplugs.
I breastfeed my child because I know it provides her with the best nutrition. This is not some form of new, interactive in-flight entertainment. Please refrain from turning sideways in your seat to stare at me in hopes of catching a glimpse of my nipple. This wouldn’t be so fascinating if I gave her a bottle. I would appreciate it if you took cues from the flight attendants who politely talk to me like a normal passenger, not a porn star or someone doing something dirty, as I nurse my child during the flight. I am happy to talk about the value of breastfeeding, but under absolutely no circumstance is it ok for you to look under my nursing cover to evaluate my latch-on.
My daughter is ecologically breastfed. I know, it sounds extreme. But I know us better than you ever will. Therefore, your suggestion to give her a bottle or a pacifier to “shut her up” is simply not helpful. Not that I have to explain myself to you, but I will. My baby refuses pacifiers, bottles, and even my very own nipple if she’s not hungry. You think she’s crying now? You have no idea; let me try sticking something in her mouth that she doesn’t want. That’s when the screaming really begins.
Speaking of crying, she’s a baby. She cries to communicate that she is uncomfortable. The changing pressure in the cabin hurts her little ears, and crying helps her clear them. Do you really think that I would withhold her pacifier or bottle out of cruelty? Really? What else have I done to prove just how inhumane I am? As I mentioned, she is not interested in sucking when she’s not hungry. It actually makes a lot of sense to me.
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As we deplane this evening, I am grateful to everyone who said that we did well. Travelling with a small child without anyone else to help is a difficult feat and I'm proud of us for surviving. I think that the baby handled herself admirably when I consider the fits being thrown by grown adults all around us. 17D, I found it incredibly thoughtful of you to hold up everyone else who was trying to disembark when you stopped to yell at me about how poor a parent I am because I didn’t give my daughter a pacifier. I also really appreciated it, 19C, when you went out of your way to announce that you were sitting by a baby who “cried the whole time” so there was no way you could sleep. I am a little confused, though, as you were seated 5 rows behind us and my baby cried for less than 10 minutes. But thanks for hollering it loudly enough that you interrupted my baby’s reunion with her father.
Sincerely,
A frazzled mom whose flight was delayed just as long as yours
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Comments (18)
Hahaha. You know I love this post! :)
"Thank you for asking, you may touch her socked foot for 3 seconds." LOL.
Some people? Are asshats. This no longer shocks or amazes me. I'm just thankful that they're not the majority.
It irks me when I hear about people who absolutely hate children for random, illegitimate reasons, not remembering that they too were once children. Seems like the only people who get annoyed when they're in a moving vehicle with infant are the ones who have never had to help with one... and I feel sorry for them because they've never had the privilege of watching such a miracle evolve.
I hope my 14 hr plane ride abroad with my 6 month old goes smoothly and I hope I have as much patience as you seem to have had. It'll be his first time.
Greatest post ever. Oh, the troubles of being a mom. You are one warrior.
Martha
I absolutely love this! :) Thanks for posting it!
@Morningstarrising@xanga - @liferemainsbeautiful@xanga - Thanks guys!!! There was steam coming out my ears and all I could think was "just wait until I get home and blog about you!" hehe :)
@shrewdinnocence@xanga - My daughter (the 3-month-old this blog is about) traveled for the first time at 9 days old... She surprised me, but many of my friends told me that when they are really little it's not too bad... I am sure your little one will do great!
@furyyes@xanga - I just had an idea. You know how there are magazines and stuff in the seats on plane? This should totally be printed out and put in those seats for passengers to read. This is the last thing a woman like you needs to put up with!
@liferemainsbeautiful@xanga - Great idea! Thanks! :) I could submit it to the magazines.. or.. I could just print off a ton and stick them in the seat pockets next time I fly with my little one (which will be in a couple of months. Those other travelers can't scare me out of taking my child to see our family!) :)
@filtered_sunlight - I've never heard the term "asshat" before... I dig it :)
@furyyes@xanga - Hahaha, that'd be awesome. But, if you really want to spite them, personally hand them out to rude travelers. =PP
really young babies aren't actually so bad to travel with, I fly a lot and in my experience it's the ones around ages 2-3 that are more annoying. as somebody who flies a lot however, I don't think people should have extra rights just cause they have a baby, and i have been on those 14 hour flights with the child who screamed or cried for 10 hours while the mother watched movies, and usually they spend the whole time kicking the back of my seat. I don't care how old the person is, but if you are taking responsibility for them and not able to keep them under control then I don't think you should be flying with them. you have to realize that you have just the one child, and there are 100+ other passangers, and so even if most of them are willing to tolerate it obviously there is going to be a couple who are frustrated.
i'm sorry if i'm not able to charter a plane home to see my dying father in the hospital, but i think that there has to be a certain level of manners too, and if i've been traveling for a whole day already and find it too sketchy to sleep in the airport the plane is my only chance to get some sleep, and yes, even with earplugs/your own music some babies scream pretty loud. i don't do anything to interfer with anyone else having a pleasant flight, and i'm definitely frustrated when other people don't reciprocate.
Preach on, sister. Preach on. I flew with my oldest 4 times before she was 1. On one of those flights, I met a little old woman who was very sweet who my daughter found quite entertaining. At one point as we were preparing to board she said "I'll bet everyone thinks I'm her great-grandma. I suppose that's just as well." She proceeded to act as great grandmother for the rest of the flight, even answering questions from other people, though she had just learned the answers herself "Isn't she beautiful? She's 3 months old. This is her second flight. She's the first grandchild on either side of the family..." It was a little odd, but very sweet.
My daughter is now 3 years old, and we have another who will be one next month. My husband is in the Navy as well, so the next time we fly, I can pretty much assume I'll be alone. I find that absolutely terrifying.....
@songbird27@xanga - My husband was deployed right up until the very end of my pregnancy, so I had my daughter at home in Oklahoma (but we're stationed in Norfolk.) The first time I flew with the baby she was only 9 days old, and we were moving back to Virginia. I was blown away by how many strangers helped me! I was so grateful!!!
On one of the flights on the trip that this blog is about, I almost dropped all my crap (and you know traveling with kids = TONS of extra stuff) so I handed the baby to a complete stranger without even asking if she'd mind taking her while someone else helped me recover the diaper bag that took a dive from the overhead bin. I NEVER thought I'd do that, but the mama didn't mind at all. She actually cuddled my little one for a couple of minutes while I stowed our junk, took my seat, and fastened my seatbelt. Yes, people can be jerks, and I'm really not creative or original - all of the stuff I typed up there came from real experiences (like people asking if I delivered vaginally. I mean REALLY!), but I didn't write about the good stuff. People really are very helpful. If you will indulge me in a little unsolicited advice, I found that people were nicer the earlier in the day our flights were. The later the flights, the more grumpy the passengers. :)Take care!
Ohhh, the repeated questions! lol I don't even have kids yet, but I know all about the standard questions that come with every stage of life. "What's your major?" "Will you be taking his last name?" "When are YOU guys having kids?" I've really wanted to make an index card with all the answers before! It would be easier to hand everyone the card instead of telling the same answers again and again, being polite each time!
loved it the first time!
great post! I don't think I'd ever be brave enough to travel with my baby that young.