I am asking all of my friends who happen to be parents, or who will soon be parents, or even those of you who will be parents sometime in the hazy future to take this pledge with me: "We, the parents, pledge and promise to be the SANE ones. Though our children may strive to drive us crazy, and though we may love our children past reason, we will, when called upon to react to their errant behavior, remain sane."
Really, that's all I'm asking. My mother-in-law works for a school and the stories she tells of parents making excuses for their children, demanding their child get a free pass because they are so special, threatening law suits over a conspiracy against their child when their child skipped a field trip are ridiculous. But, the lady on the news this morning tops them all.
And I am begging all of you who are or will be parents, please, please never be THIS insane.
Yesterday, for the second day in a row, a Grand Rapids school was closed early because of a student bringing a gun to school. The first day a student fired a gun outside the school. The second day a kid got caught with a sawed off shot gun and shells in his pants. It's the second one I want to address.
His mother is all over the news today saying she doesn't know where her son got this incredibly illegal weapon, but she says he thought he needed it because someone had taken his money and his sunglasses earlier.
What?!? Maybe if you'd said someone had threatened his life I would buy it, but someone takes his stuff, so he decides, "I'll bring a gun, that'll show them." Then she goes on to say that she hopes the school district will clear his record, because he's innocent and he made a mistake and he's young and blah blah blah. Are you kidding me?
He brought a deadly and illegal weapon to school, a day after there had been a shooting. I don't care what the "reasons" were, this is the time to teach your child, "Well, Johnny, there are consequences when you bring an illegal lethal weapon to school." I mean, am I alone in this?
My mom's favorite "game" while we were growing up was Suffer the Consequences. Which meant, when we did stupid stuff, whatever unpleasant things followed we had to face them. We ought to bring that game back. I'm teaching my son how to play. Won't you join me?
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Comments (7)
I love that game =)
Its my favorite game to play my daughter and shes only 3 ;) But really excusing our child for bringing a GUN to school??! Plain outragous. Ive seen the mothers who defend their children no matter what, and honestly its hurts me. They are not doing their child any good. When their child grows to be an adult how is he/she supose to learn that there are consequences for EVERY action and you cant always get out of it. Should we just start excusing rapists because they had a bad childhood? Or murders because someone took their seat on the subway? My daughter drives me crazy pretty much on a daily basis, but I will never let her get away with something, especially something that serious, just because shes my daughter and shes young.
I have played that game for years. In my eighteen years as a parent I have had only one incident where I had to take a teacher to task for her treatment of my child. (I was not the only parent and the teacher "retired" from the school at the end of the year).
I don't make excuses for them when they don't do their homework, I can't even imagine making one for them if they brought a deadly weapon to school. I guess the saying is true, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
I love that game it is on the top of my list right by "You can't always get what you want". I know technically that one is a song, but the principle is driven home when they are denied something and when it comes on the radio. I have gone so far as to remind the school that they are to be enforcing the rules on forgotten homework there too. My oldest son was constantly forgetting things, but they still did not take away his recess time or require the homework club as is outlined in there handbook. I don't even expect the kids to jump right in, I remind them of what needs done and by the time they are in 2nd grade if they are not on task they face the music with no sympathy from me.
@JustAnotherLostAngel@xanga - I say "you can't always get what you want" to my son all the time. He's only 2, so I try to say it with compassion, but still... Sometimes he gets really upsets (screaming!) when I won't let him, oh I don't know... eat three cookies instead of one, throw things at me, hit people, or watch tv for more than 20 minutes at a time, or stay up longer than is good for him. He's gotta learn now that he's still impressionable, right? I can't give him what he wants just because he's screaming - how would that work out when he's in school??
The other game we play is "let's be nice to one another" - that goes for annoying neighborhood children, too. It's amazing what a little friendliness will do to an obnoxious child...
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My mom and dad's favorite line was "life isn't fair". My sisters and I knew that mom and dad made choices for us based on our health and safety even if it wasn't what we wanted or liked at that present time. They didn't make excuses for us and made it very clear that if we broke a rule or lied, there were going to be consequences. As a teacher, I have seen so many parents come up with excuses as to why their child misbehaved in class ( he was having a bad day, he didn't get to have his favorite cereal for breakfast) or didn't complete the homework assignment. ENOUGH! You aren't helping your child out by excusing his behavior.