Monday, 14 September 2009
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My Child Contributes to My Life Every Single Moment
by Mama Pig 
I naturally followed RoAngie467's blog on the Momaroo front page. Not exactly a stretch to assume that I would. I thought she made some great arguments and was sorry to see many people dismiss her simply because she disagreed with them. Well, much like watching a train wreck, I have gone back a few times to see any new comments. Someone really get me into therapy because I must stop this self destructive behavior.
I just read one of the last comments and the person actually said; "Why have a mentally challenged child? What will that child contribute to society?" Oh, it is so on.
My child may never contribute anything to society as a whole. She may never cure cancer, she may never give us World peace, she may never even graduate high school, but damnit she contributes to my life every single moment of every single day and that is enough for me.
Since when do we decide someone is worthy of living based solely on their possible contributions to this world? I doubt that any of my children will have a huge impact on this world outside of our small little part of it and I am perfectly okay with that. I am forty years old and other than putting way too many kids on this earth according to some; I have not exactly left my mark.
I know I have beaten this to death lately, but I am just so sick of ignorance. My daughter has a disability. We pay for all of her care out of our own pockets so this whole "she is a drain on society" is just total bullshit. My child is an amazing child. Will she be the President of the United States someday? Probably not. Could she do a better job than some former ones? Absolutely.
So, my vow from this day forward is to ignore all the ignorance and move forward in my life of denial. Perhaps that is enough of a contribution to society to allow me to live on this earth.
Again, I don't say this life is for everyone. I get that some people really can't handle a child with a disability. I respect that and would never judge someone for choosing a different path than my own. I guess you could say that Emily has contributed to society; she has caused me to write some blogs that I most likely would have never written had she not had Down syndrome. I am not sure that is a good thing or bad thing. Sorry.
(deep breaths and stepping off soapbox yet again)
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About the Author
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- From: mamapig
- Name: mamapig
- About Me: Hello everyone. I am Mama Pig. I am a very busy mom of eight children. Five by birth and three my marriage. While it is a busy life, it is one I wouldn't change for the world. Our oldest is 18 and will be graduating in May. We are even in the boys/girls department with four each. Two just turned 14, two just turned 12, one will be 10 this year, and the babies are 4 and 2. There are no twins in the mix, just step siblings that happen to be close in age. You will read alot about Down syndrome when you read my blog. Our youngest daughter was born with Down syndrome as well as a congenital heart defect. These are two issues I am extremely passionate about. I just resumed classes at the local community college. My goal is to someday reach law school with the hopes of focusing on family law.
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Comments (6)
I admire people that have children with challenges. When I am out in public and I see people with downsyndrom children (and adults) they are always so filled with smiles. I have been blessed many times seeing and interactin with such people. They do so much for society but unfortunately bringing up people's spirits because of a sweet smile isn't considered a gift by many....but for me it is the world.
My friend's severely disabled daughter is almost 8 years old and she has contributed far more to society already than most of the posters on these threads that would have aborted her. (Of course hers was a late term cord injury so I guess they would have just had to put her up for adoption or sought out Dr. Tiller, but that's a different tangent.) Anyway back to Katie, because of her and her parents willingness to seek out the best doctors and treatments for her many doctors have learned so much about neurology, about the effect of the will, about the importance of early interventions, etc. all of which can be applied to normally functioning children who suffer accidents. Katie and children like her help doctors make advances EVERY DAY that may someday benefit someone's "perfect" child who has suffered a tragic accident. I'd hardly call that a drain on society. And that doesn't even take into account the sheer joy she brings to those around her. But I guess you'd never know that if you chucked your baby into the trash at 20 weeks.
it's sad, but there will always be people who are really that ignorant.
When they finally get pregnant, i'm sure their views will change a little bit.
hopefully.
Thank you so much for posting this. My three year old daughter has autism, and as much as I would love to help her to relate to the rest of the world more, I wouldn't change who she is for a second! I'm not even sure that she will ever communicate beyond what she says at this point in time (which isn't much), but I don't think that means that she's not valuable - at least to my life.
Every human being is valuable. Maybe not to some in this society we currently find ourselves living in, but to God. He created each one. And He doesn't make mistakes. I firmly believe that everyone, has an impact on the world. Better a child who may have physical, emotional, or mental challenges that contributes in untold ways that only those closest can truly understand than the negative impact of people like the one that made that statement.
Theres a boy that I work with. He was born a completely healthy boy. At the age of two or three, he was struck by a vehichle, nearly killing him. So, while he wasnt born with a life of moderate to severe disabilities, its a life that was eventually handed to him.He now is paralyzed, wheelchair bound, has a noticeable developmental problem mentally, loss of some hand movement, and you can tell he has faced many medical problems. I wonder then, what all these people say of that? What if your child was born healthy, but life dealt a rougher hand. I cant imagine anyone thinking less of their child because of that. I dont see why the situation should be any different even if they are developing their disability in the womb.
I said that to say that randy, the man I work with..Is now 27.. and has accomplished more within our community than I will ever do in my entire life. I cant even begin to list the number of things. He has changed the community, he has changed peoples lives. I am fully capable of doing things.. and I dont. I dont have a problem admitting this, because I know Im not alone. What baffles me, is why arent these people who question what omeone with disabilities brings to the community, also asking why people of 100% healthy nature arent doing more!? There is such a wide spectrum of handicaps, but anyone can offer something to the world... anyone. Even if its just by smiling at a stranger.