Sunday, 13 September 2009
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Breast Feeding Does Not Make You a Better Mom...
I am really getting tired of these post that FF moms are selfish and that BF is best and how can we not BF for the health of our child. This is a really debateable topic. But here are some points I would like to address..
1. BF or FF as long as you are feeding your baby I don't care.
2. You are not better then me that cause you BF. (i.e. http://www.jointogether.org/news/headlines/inthenews/2009/woman-who-allegedly.html) is this women better then me cause she feed her baby drunk??
3. Does breast feeding in public upset me.. Hum yes and and no.. I don't mind women BF in public it is when they whip there breast out and flashing her nipple while preparing the child to eat. There is a way to be respectful of everyone else feelings and still feed your baby.
4. I also hate when women post close ups of there babies eating again there is a way to be respectful about it. I also don't think it is christian like to post your breast on the internet period.
5. I do not this it is right for people say make comments about my son's bottle when they don't know the whole story.
6. No I could not change my meds so I could BF.
7. I made the best choice for my baby, my family and myself.
8. Sometime FF is best.
9. BF moms are no way better people then FF feeding moms. Why are people trying to make it out that way.
10. Do I think BF is best. Yes I think anything that god gives us to naturally take care of children is the best but I also think that in some cases such as mine FF is a better option.
There are some points I wanted to make about the BF debate.
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- From: opster25
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Comments (105)
I agree, it is rediculous that we go thru this debate over and over and over again. Who cares as long as the baby is fed, clean, and loved. Some people choose to FF and some have no choice but to. Who cares? How does it affect anyone else's life what someone else does with their kids? Don't act like you were the first person to invent BF'ing and therefore you should be worshipped for doing it. It has been going on since mankind began, you aren't superwoman for doing it. And if you can't, well you can't. You have to feed your baby something! Women shouldn't be looked down upon for BF'ing in public if it is discreet, but another shouldn't be criticited for being a lazy or bad mother for using the bottle either. To each his own.
You're right! Breastfeeding does not automatically make someone a better mom! It seems like no matter what everyone picks on everyone else for something. It's so important for us moms to stick together and support one another even if we need to make different choices.
If you're not BFing how do you know if it's reasonable to expect people to cover up? I have to bring a pumped bottle on ice or formula every time I go out because my son is too small to sit under a cover in 90 degree heat and doesn't have the head control to latch himself or stay latched. And he hates a cold bottle
I never imagined I'd want to BF in public, and it always made me a little uncomfortable to have to avert my eyes, but I was never such a fool that I didn't understand that was MY issue that I felt uncomfortable, not the mom's.
@Alynn820@xanga - Because I have BF my daughter.
I agree! I was just in a baby store yesterday and I saw something in the breastfeeding Asile that almost gave me a heart attack. They acctualy have test strips to test your breast milk for alcohol. HONESTLY!! I do believe that breast milk is best for a child but I had to end up putting my first born on formula for various reasons. Now expecting with my second I do plan on breastfeeding but I definatly dont look down on moms formula feeding. Breastfeeding in public should be done as descrete as possible. I always kept my daughter in her sling to nurse in public while I was breastfeeding. Also, close ups of breastfeeding make GREAT scrapbooking pictures but I agree that the internet is probably not the best place for them.
Hey girl. Don't let the people get to you. you did and are doing what YOU think is best for YOUR child. I FF my first born and i BF my 2nd. she is 7months old and pretty much just FF except for night time. and the random times during the day that she wants some boob time.
1. BF or FF as long as you are feeding your baby I don't care.
agreed!!
3.
Does breast feeding in public upset me.. Hum yes and and no.. I don't
mind women BF in public it is when they whip there breast out and
flashing her nipple while preparing the child to eat. There is a way to
be respectful of everyone else feelings and still feed your baby.
I never just whiped it out. I made sure that I cover up and if i'm having problems or fumbling i have the person i'm with help me by holding a blanket....i don't ever just let it hang out lol
4.
I also hate when women post close ups of there babies eating again
there is a way to be respectful about it. I also don't think it is
christian like to post your breast on the internet period.
I have pics of my own that i have of my daughter nursing...but those are for ME. and her when she's older not the world to see. ;)
5. I do not this it is right for people say make comments about my son's bottle when they don't know the whole story.
its down right NONE of their business...he's healthy, correct? His dr is happy with his growth and well being, correct?? if so they can STFU. lol
6. No I could not change my meds so I could BF.
I think people are just RUDE who think that meds can be altered so you can BF. I know people who have RA and wanted to nurse but their drs advised them not to due to the complications the mother would have from not being on their meds. I don't understand why people think its their business to make judgements on people who don't BF.
7. I made the best choice for my baby, my family and myself.
Amen!
8. Sometime FF is best.
TRUE! I never tried to BF my first...and she is a perfectly happy and healthy 3.5 y/o
9. BF moms are no way better people then FF feeding moms. Why are people trying to make it out that way.
they are self conscious is the only think I can think of.
10.
Do I think BF is best. Yes I think anything that god gives us to
naturally take care of children is the best but I also think that in
some cases such as mine FF is a better option.
like i said before....every mom does what is best for their child. if you think FF is best that is awesome. i'm happy your feeding your child, and he's not going hungry!!! :)
I agree with what you are trying to say here - of course breast feeding is best, but it isnt always possible! I can imagine some of the posts would be very upsetting to someone who wanted to BF but simply couldnt for whatever reason!
@Alynn820@xanga - Agreed. We live in Florida; 99.9% of the time, it's too hot for a cover up. My daughter wiggles and can be distracted by noises; i.e. whipping her head away to see what's going on behind her without notice. Terribly sorry if you happen to see some nipple, but I don't think if 'very Christian like' to be gawking at my chest in the first place!
Personally, I've never met anyone that has said, "I'm a better mother than so-and-so because I breastfed." If you're taking it that way when someone states the fact that it's best? That's your issue. Please don't try to pin it on me just because I happen to be BF'ing.
@filtered_sunlight - this post was not directed to you so how am I pining it on you? And yes I have people treat me like this. as matter of fact I never meet you so how do you get this was directed towards you.?
Can you atleast repect the fact that there are small children in many places and try to be discreat about it. IF she is whiping her head why can't you repect that we don't want our Noisy children seeing other people's breast?
I've had so many people tell me I was making the wrong choice by not breast-feeding, I had others shake their heads and make comments about the fact that I wasn't breast-feeding. And my best friend was pissed I wasn't even gonna try it. I told her, "It's not something I want to do, not something I'd feel comfortable doing, and when you have a child of your own, you can choose to feed them however you want...this is MY child and I choose how to feed her."
It still was pretty upsetting though, to have many condemn me for not breast-feeding.
Can't we all just get along?? Sorry, had to break the tension with some humor.
On that note, I am out of this debate.
I breastfed my daughter and i don't feel like i'm better than those that formula feed. I think as women, we all need to support each other regardless of what we decide to do. The same goes for stay at home moms and working moms. Why is there such a huge divide? What works for one might not work for the other. We should never be judged because we don't walk in the other person's shoes.
With that being said, i find it a little harsh when you said it's not very christian like to post your breast on the internet. If you look at our bodies as a beautiful thing that God gave us, it isn't gross or unnatural. Yes it sometimes makes me feel uncomfortable to see someone BF in public or a BF mom on the internet, but to each his own. Again, we shouldn't judge. If it bothers someone, they shouldn't look at it. After BF, i don't look at my boobs as anything sexual anymore. They have a purpose and that's to nourish my child. I never did BF in public, but i don't judge those that do. Covering up completely would have been difficult for me because i had a wiggler.
Why can't we all get along?
@filtered_sunlight - Oh, and I am a better mother than you because I said so. Can I come stalk you now?
@ShamrockLover@xanga - sorry you find it harsh. How I read the bibile and how you do is another debate. I am not willing toget in to tonight. These are my points and I am sorry if people disagree.
@PoetMcChick@xanga - I have also. I had one older lady who I guess did not have the guts to say anything to my face. Comment to my husband on how I was doing my son a diservice my no BF.
@MJof2G@xanga - @der_lila_Stern@xanga - @enyas_mom@xanga - @Lilpinkbunny@xanga - @Traci_Ladd@xanga - Thankyou..
@gwacemom - Unfair! You have more practice!! LOL. And since when do you ask permission to stalk me? Weirdo.
@filtered_sunlight - I would also like to point out I was not talking about every mother who BF there child in public. I was talking about the ones who could careless about other people and just leave there breast with nipple exposed while prepareing the child or putting the child back down. There is a way to respect everyones feelings. You have the right to feed your child and not have to cover the childs face. And many people respect your rights as a mother all I as is you respect mine and my childrens right.
@opster25 - It was directed at breastfeeding mothers...of which I am one.
There are LOTS of things out in public that small children shouldn't see. Where's the mention of teenagers with pants hanging down their knees? Young ladies with thongs that rise higher than their jeans? Adults on cell phones dropping the 'F' bomb just a readily as they breathe? I don't just flop my breasts out into the open with reckless abandon, but sometimes? I'm sure that people, including your noisy kids, could have possibly seen nipple! *gasp* So sorry my baby has to eat and I'm not willing to starve her or make her sweat just so that your kids aren't exposed to nature. As soon as I figure out what "repect" is? I surely will do my best to comply, your highness.
@filtered_sunlight - whatever.
@filtered_sunlight - If you don't stop talking about "whipping it out" I am hopping on the next plane.
@opster25 - You know, I would like to know where these mothers are that walk around topless. I hear about them quite often, but have yet to see one...which baffles me because I live in a well populated area and spend a great deal of time outside my home.
I agree...it's ignorant for anyone to remark on a child's bottle. You never know what is in it. In the beginning, we had to really work at latching and I'd end up sore, so I'd pump. But on the same token, I took my daughter out plenty with her bottle and people asked how old she was and remarked on how cute she is...but never once did they ask why she wasn't at my breast. Mind boggling.
@filtered_sunlight - most of our comments that where made to us where in our small town walmart. We have yet had any comments here in a larger city. In once case at the zoo in a childs play area a lady opened her bra and her shirt which I guess what a specially made shirt and had her boob out and then removed the child from the stroller and sat across from us eatting lunch. I would not have noticed if my 3 year old had not said mommy her shirt is broken. See above I even had a lady speak to my husband about my not BFing so they are our there. I have had 4 children and had a bottle with all of them at one point I was not on my meds and tryed to BF my youngest daugther. But over the course of many years I have had the comment many times. Not to mention the comment "you have your hands full" which I get on a daily bases. i am not going to go through all the rude comments I get. Including "do they all have the same father." But my point is there are many people who feel they have the right to say something to us.
@gwacemom - not if I get there first!!
@der_lila_Stern@xanga - Now she is talking about topless women. Do you think she is doing it because she secretly misses us?