Saturday, 05 September 2009

• First Day Worries - I Feel Helpless

   by Mama Bee
  
  

  
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  I sat on the couch folding my umteenth load of laundry tonight. I sat there not listening to the T.V. or the children’s laughter. Instead, I focused in on what I needed to get done tomorrow. The early mornings of 6am are back and I am not looking forward to them after a summer of sleeping in. My daughter, now two, sleeps until ten if we let her. My boys are already teenagers who sleep until noon. I know the transition is going to be hard on everyone except daddy who is already up by 4am. Operations Managers don’t get to sleep either.
  
  I think about the breakfast that is tradition in our house. I wake up and make eggs, bacon, pancakes in the shape of hearts, fresh fruit, and juice. I think of the lunches I have to make before they head off. I think of the backpacks and going through them to make sure they have everything. I think of special ways to show them how much we love them. I think of pick up and drop off. Last year, my youngest begged for me to take him home. He cried and so did I. I couldn’t help but wonder if we will have the same battle tomorrow. I wonder if they will make friends quickly and be comfortable. I wonder if I could stop in and see them, just to make sure they are okay. I think of the traditional after school dinner we will all meet for and think of where we will eat. Whose year is it to choose? Wait, who chose last year, that may be easier to answer. I CAN’T REMEMBER!
  
  I’m worried and I had yet to hear any worries from them about school.
  
  That is until my oldest came and sat down beside me.
  
  "Mommy, do you think Caden will be in my class?"
  
  "I don’t know. I guess we will see tomorrow," I reply with a smile.
  
  "I’m scared," He says bluntly
  
  "Why?"
  
  "Because. I just want to be home. What if the kids don’t like me? What if I don’t know anyone in my class? Ugh, maybe Caden and Jordan and Mikiah will be in a class together and I’ll be alone." He’s concerned and it shows on his face and through his words.
  
  I feel helpless. As his mother I want nothing more than to go to school and introduce him to all the kids and make them love him, but that can’t happen.
  
  "So what. Right? You didn’t know anyone when you first went to school and you didn’t know anyone last year. You made friends right away. At least now you know kids and even if they’re not in your class, you get to see them at lunch and recess." I try to muster the strength to smile but I’m tired.
  
  "Yeah. Do you think they will like me this year, too, Mommy?"
  
  "HECK YES! You are the cutest, coolest, funniest, smartest kid I’ve ever known. You'll be fine." The reassurance seems to calm his fears.
  
  He gets up and goes to find his sister and brother who are playing hide-n-seek. He seemed satisfied with what I said. After we decided to buy our house last year, we knew it was going to be best for the kids. They could be in the same house and same school for many years. They can grow up with the same kids.
  
  I know I worry way more than my kids do. After what happened last year with my son begging me to take him home, crying and asking me, "Mommy, don’t you want me to be home with you?" I don’t think I could do it again.
  
  I know their first day will be great. I know it. They will be in their new clothes feeling awesome. They will rock their hair cuts. They will feel great inside knowing they are amazing people and that not only are they lucky to find new friends but those friends are extra lucky to have my babies as friends.
  
  I wonder what this year will bring. Girlfriends? Sleepovers? New sports? Will they both get all A's again this year?? We will see.
  
  Parents, do you have fears about your children’s first days?? Have your kids come to you worried?
  

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