This is a response to another post on Momaroo about smoking mothers,
available here.
The post itself and a lot of the comments showed the same type of ignorance that I want to bring to light. Yes, we all know that smoking is bad for our health. And that is a conversation for another day. But when people see a pregnant woman smoking, they jump straight to 'you don't care about your baby' and start talking about how horrible she is.
I know, not all mothers fit into this category, but there's something a lot of people don't seem to understand.
A woman who was a heavy smoker before getting pregnant is better off cutting back and quitting. I'll agree that some women do continue smoking regularly because they don't care to quit. Nobody can deny that. But not all of them do.
Not all pregnancies are planned, we can all agree on that. If a woman's trying to conceive, it would be logical that she quit smoking first. But if it was unplanned, she didn't have that time to prepare. And doctors often tell pregnant women who are heavy smokers that they should not quit smoking. The reason?
Anyone who's quitting smoking will go through withdrawal, which takes a physical tole on your body. A heavy smoker trying to go cold turkey is going to get hit by withdrawal, and they're going to get hit hard. On a regular person, this is manageable. For a pregnant woman, this is not a good idea.
Most doctors recommend that a woman who smokes heavily should just cut back on her cigarette intake. Cutting back saves the baby from as much of the harmful contents of cigarettes as possible without making the mother quit entirely. The biggest reason for that is because putting the baby through withdrawal during those nine months has been found to be more harmful than simply cutting back as much as possible.
It's not fair to automatically assume that any pregnant woman you see smoking is just ignoring the well-being of her child. Sometimes, they're doing what every one of us did during pregnancy - the best they can. I'm not a smoker because I never really liked the taste of cigarettes. My sister in law was a heavy smoker, and no blood tests or pregnancy tests gave a positive result until she was nearly three months along. She cut back from a little over half a pack a day to about 5 cigarettes a day. My nephew is a beautiful and healthy baby boy with no breathing problems or birth defects.
I saw the kind of grief people gave her over smoking while pregnant, and it broke my heart. She did the very best she could do to stay healthy during her pregnancy. The first thing she wanted to do was quit smoking when she found out she was pregnant, and the doctors told her she couldn't - because the withdrawal would hurt the baby too much. On some level, she was glad she didn't have to quit smoking, but she spent the entire time worrying about what continuing to do so would do to her baby. Knowing that quitting is more harmful in a situation like that is hard on the mother, and the kind of attitudes and comments people give them make it that much worse.
Don't assume that every pregnant woman who smokes is doing it because she doesn't care.
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Comments (66)
FANTASTIC POST! Props to the OP!!! I am so thankful to finally read something that won't make smoking mama's (tho I am not one, I know many who are) feel like crap. All of my aunts on my mom's side smoked with all of their pregnancies, and all the babies were 8lb or more, and healthy.
Pregnant women have enough to deal with, stop beating them over the head about quitting.
What doctor are you seeing??? I'm nine months pregnant with an UNPLANNED pregnancy and I was a pack a day smoker before I found out I was pregnant. I quit cold turkey with my doctor's encouragment. That's right, my doctor told me that the BEST THING for BOTH me and the baby was to QUIT!!!!
And as a pregnant woman who quit smoking for the health of her child, and went through withdraw I think I'm in a unique position when I say that I believe that a woman who smokes through her pregancy is selfish. Would you feel the same about a woman who used heroin during her pregnancy??? Or drank???
It's selfish, plain and simple.
what kinda doctor was she seeing?!!
I've heard this, but not all doctors will say the same thing. True, it is possible that the baby will go through a withdrawal, but I think that I would quit cold-turkey as soon as I found that I was pregnant, no matter what my doctor said. I am a smoker, and as much as I smoke, I would want to quit if I found out I was pregnant. Would I have a bad withdrawal if I wanted to quit that bad? I don't think I would. The hardest part of quitting is the habit. You have to want to quit. I know this first hand. I could quit if I wanted, it wouldn't be fun, but it would be nothing but healthy. These 'withdrawals' aren't the same thing as a withdrawal from heroine.
I know someone who smoked during her pregnancy.. ironically she was given the same deal from her doctor "5 cigarettes a day"... one kid has asthma the other kid has had so many ear problems including surgeries... not saying its related to smoking.. not say it wasn't related either.
Smoking is just yucky, pregnant or not.
Like many restaurants have a BYOB option, my life has a MYOB option. Meaning: Mind Your Own Business. And I try to do the same for others. I agree with you. It is arrogant to assume that a pregnant woman who is smoking doesn't care about herself or her baby's health. She may, in fact, be following her doctor's orders.
I appreciate this post, because there are two sides to every story, but I still disagree. It is possible to be compassionate for someone while acknowledging their flaws, but the vibe I'm getting from this post isn't one of compassion - just excuses.* If a pregnant woman slips up and smokes a cigarette over a nine month period, I'm not going to throw stones. But to continue smoking while pregnant? I'm speechless. There are sacrifices that need to be made. Nicotine is addictive, but so are certain chemicals in processed foods. If I had the time or if I were passionate enough about the topic, I would definitely find my sources and list them. I'm too tired to argue a point right now.
*That's just the vibe I got. If that wasn't your intention, I apologize for any offense.
What I don't understand is that the same people who will give a woman grief about smoking during pregnancy turn around and tell another woman that she has the freedom to kill her unborn child. Hypocritical much??
Who cares, its still not fair.
good post!
i think any married women who plan to have babies should start to quit smoking months before pregnancy. or maybe slowly reduce the number of cigs day after day after getting married.
Why can't they just use the patch? I know that means they are still getting some nicotine in their body which is not great for the baby, but it has to be better than the smoke. I'm pregnant and don't smoke and I won't hang out in smoky areas due to second hand smoke.
@averyswife@xanga - You stole my words.. Thanks.. ;)
As for the post. I have heard of this. I have had 5 kids all my dr.'s said the same thing. Where ideal would be for mom to stop. But if she can atleast cut back it would be even better. Although I am not a smoker I do repect that people do try and not everyone who is a smoker is trying to harm their child. Great post and as for everyone else. Have you seen a pregant mom drink coffee or tea, or soda cause this to can cause the excat same problems as smoking while pregant, Including preterm baby, High blodd pressure while pregant, ANd low birth weight. ANyhow great job poster.
@alaskamommy@xanga - Cuase it is not the Tar that is getting to the baby or the 2nd hand smoke it is the Nicotine that actaully harms a baby during pregnant. Although that would be great for after they had the baby when the baby is actually exposed to the smoke.
@raiyaya@xanga - that is a great idea to. They also suggest that women trying to have a baby take vitams and floic acid. I spelt that wrong sorry.
@Nina1981@xanga - 5 out of 5 of my kids have had many problems. 1 was still born at 39 weeks and 5 days, 1 had the ear problems most likely the same thing since it is very common, 1 has a massive birthmark that has had to have many laser treatments. My oldest has ADD and a panic disorder at 7. And my baby has had to have his little wee wee fixed another common problem. ANd I went to every appointment and did everything as I was told never smoked a day in my life. My point is no matter what I did there was something wrong. I am not giving anyone a free pass to go and smoke as much as they want. in other words it most likey had nothing to do with her smoking. O yes my 10 month old also has breathing problems and has since he was 3 months old.
@opster25 - well technically 5 out of 5 of my kids have had some sort of "issue" at one time or another as well. My oldest is dyslexic, the next one has selective mutism, the next one had a speech delay, the next one seems good so far, but I suspect a speech delay as well, and my baby is still a baby so perfect so far lol
I don't smoke either! But what my kids have- are pretty genetic traits.
I'm not saying her smoking caused the issues, BUT if I did smoke, I would really feel guilty if my kid had asthma (fact is that is often related to 2nd hand smoke and mothers who smoke during pregnancy), and the ear problems not too sure, but just saying.
I mean, I guess by your logic there is NO way to prove that smoking does ANY harm- so I stand corrected- sorry.
Light 'em up ladies!
@opster25 - That is not what I am saying I am saying that you can not assume. But take it how you want. As for your children and speech problem they can be genetic. I have 2 with delayed speech not sure if the one who died would have or not. So who knows. The main effects from smoking is low birht weight and preterm birth.
Withdrawal's for smoking are not that bad. Give me a break.
I agree with said poster, I cared about my daughter when I was pregnant and smoked, I did cut back and felt really guilty but there are two sides to every story. and @cutesycharm@xanga - withdraw for everyone is different. Yes symptoms are often the same but the craving to actually smoke can be different for every person. I know plenty of people who are able to just stop smoking, unfortunately I'm not one of them.
very interesting posts, i didn't know this.
i don't really have a set opinion, though, since i haven't researched it myself.
@averyswife@xanga - Well, if you're choosing to give birth, you should have the decency to do what's best for the child you're bringing into the world. I'm pro-choice, but I don't think pregnant women should get trashed every night, or smoke a pack a day, or what have you.
Smoking withdrawal - the physical part - lasts for three days. That's it. The rest is psychological. Should a baby go through three days of potential stress, or nine months of oxygen deprivation and exposure to dangerous chemicals?
I smoke, and I get that it's hard. I get it if a pregnant woman smokes a cigarette or two. But every pregnant smoker I've known smokes at minimum, a pack a day, the whole time, with absolutely no effort to quit. And THAT is selfish as hell.
@whitetrashpoet@xanga - So when you get pregant please do let us know how well you do.. Since I know you will be quiting. Right. ?
Wow I've never heard of this before! Really opened my eyes...
why make someone feel like crap. if they choose to do it...to each their own.
I love how the writer uses ZERO sources for her claims.