Friday, 07 August 2009
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I'm not the young one anymore
I'm 28, which I guess isn't all that old, but I feel ancient compared to some of the other moms I come across here on Xanga. When I start seeing birthdates in the 90s it really hits me that I'm no spring chicken. In British Columbia Canada, where I'm from, the average age for a first-time mother is 28.8 years old. I had my first child at 25, so I am considered a 'young mom' here. I'm one of the youngest in my circle of mom-friends, and for some reason I secretly like it.
I was also married a lot younger than most Canadians, at the age of 21. The national average age for first-time brides is 31.7 years old. It didn't help that I still looked like a teenager, so when strangers found out I was married I got a lot of shocked looks, which I also secretly enjoyed.
At work it was a similar story. When I first started work fresh out of University at 23, I was the youngest on my team. I had assistants who were old enough to be my parents. My coworkers often teased me lightheartedly about my age, but it didn't bother me. In fact, as usual, it was fun for me.
So you see, during my adult life I've grown accustomed to being the young one. I accomplished my goals relatively early compared to many, and I took pride in that. Now everyone seems to be catching up to me, and I must admit it bothers me a little. I fear that my thirties won't live up to my twenties, that I've reached my peak and it's all downhill from here.
Now I'd love to hear from you- at what ages did you reach significant milestones in your life?
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About the Author
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- From: thornbird42@xanga
- Name: thornbird
- About Me: I'm a 28-year-old mother of two boys, 1 and 3. I live with my husband and sons in Vancouver, Canada. I have a BA in Interdisciplinary Studies with a focus in Literature. I work as a senior underwriter for a property and casualty insurance company.
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Comments (23)
I am 19 and this year I got married and had my first baby! It wasn't planned but I love my life and wouldn't have it any other way..
I got married at 18 and had my son at 20. I was also a year younger than my peers in high school, so I've always been the young one. Being short didn't help either.
I've got the exact opposite going on. I'm 21 and still in college; my middle sister was married at 18 and my youngest is due to give birth next month at 17. On the one hand I'm a little jealous they get to do these things before me (not jealous of them, they're both unahppy with their situations, just jealous of the experience). On the other hand, I realize I have a lot more freedom than they do now, and plenty of time to act on whims and live for myself before I catch up. Its awkward.
I love being a young mom. Im 23 married with a 3 year old and hoping for another baby soon! I love being a young mom. Some people look down on being so young... but Im happy with my life and I dont think theres anything wrong with it :P
I hear you on the whole 90's generation LOL...makes me feel like a dinosaur at my ripe old age of 31. I got married at 22, had my first son at 23 and didn't have my youngest son until I was 5 days from turning 30. By the way...I don't recommend anyone having babies past that age....unles you don't care what kind of body you have LOL! It doesn't all go back like it used to.
I got married and pregnant at 19 (in that order *grin*) and my son was born when I was 20.
I was 23 when I married my first husband, pregnant right after, left my ex and had my kid at 24. Remarried at 32...
I was the first out of all my friends to marry, have a kid and divorce. But where I live now, I'm usually the oldest parent in the room being in my thirties- most moms of kids my sons age aren't 30 yet. eek!
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Wellll... I'm the youngest one in my family... and I have a feeling I'll be the young bride and young mom even though I don't want to be. I want to get married by the time I'm 25 or 26 and have my first child by the time I'm 28.
I'm seventeen and having a baby...
>->I have three beautiful girls and married to a wonderful man, I was 15 when i got pregnant and 16 when i had my oldest daughter, then i was 20 when i got married and 21 when i had my second child. i had my third and last child at the age of 23 and im going to be 24 next week, i love my life, my kids and my husband and i wouldnt have it no other way. I started young and all its doing is getting better and better. =)
I got married when I was 20, and my husband turned 20 that day (we got married on his birthday). Everyone doubted us and they still do. Instead of people doing the typical teasing about "when are you going to have kids?" they actually came out and said we shouldn't until we are at least 30. With all the lack of support from everyone (including our parents who act like we are playing house) we have chosen not to have children for a long time. We've been married over a year and I couldn't see myself ever being with anyone else--we are happy. When I see people who were born in the 90s having kids it makes me sad, and I wish we had our family's support on having children but we are still fighting to be seen as adults at all much less married adults. My entire side of the family are all (or were) big business people who didn't have kids until they were in their 30s. My husbands side of the family just doesn't want to be grand parents yet much less in laws. I was the first out of all my friends to get married and they honestly didn't know how to react, which made me sad. My husband and I are both the oldest in our familys--including all the first cousins. So no one seemed to know how to handle it. We had a poorly attended reception and and overall cold and uptight wedding weekend--there wasn't even any dance after the reception. My parents and my husbands parents hate each other so that also made for many awkward moments. I think that in some cases it's really hard making any life changing decisions when you're young--it seems to me that if you aren't 30 you aren't a true adult (at least in my family). However my circumstances could have to do with what part of the country I live in and the kind of religion my family and in laws are. But, if you ask me if I would do it again, I would because I love my husband. I woudn't ever want to be with anyone else.
I'm 19... Want to be married before or by 25. And have kids before or by 28. I've been thinking about this since I was a freshman..... I know, too early to plan ahead. My boyfriend lives with me & he's going to join the airforce. & told me that he wants to settle (be married and have a kid/get me pregnant) before he leaves. I don't mind and I'm a bit excited. One of my best friends say I'm too young. But i'll still follow through with my boyfriend. because i want my parents to see my kid before they pass on. & they dont have much time..
I got married at 22 and had my little girl at 25.
it seems like many girls nowadays are rushing to do those two things.. i'm in my mid 20s and imo below 25 is way to young to do either
@TheBoxofDreams@xanga - that's sad your family is so unsupportive. We had some comments from certain familiy member about being too young when we got married too. Well, my husband wasn't all that young (he was 28) but I was. I knew at 21 that I personally wasn't ready to have kids and so I waited a few years until it felt right. I'm glad I did, it gave me a chance to travel with just me and my husband (something I really miss now!), finish my degree, start a career, etc. So I'm happy with how things worked out.
My son is 13 months old. I'll be 20 in October. I'm not married, but father is involved with us. I believe that the events of the next 6 months will determine if the father is the future husband or if we'll just be my son's parents only.
This isn't really related to my situation, but more of my boyfriend's. He is 23 going on 24 and one of the oldest in his family (cousins, siblings, etc). Most of his older cousins (not many) are married and have kids. I'm 18 and I have 3 REALLY young sisters so of course I am more advanced in my relationship. I'm still a kid and having fun with my life, no kids for me thanks. All of my close friends have babies though. Its really awkward.
there are no limits on milestones...you hit a milestone whenever you reach them.
unless you consider something like a "sweet 16" as a milestone, well then you have a limit
I was the first in my group of friends to reach any lifetime milestones. I married my husband at 21, graduated college at 23, and about a week after graduation found out that I'm pregnant! So, I'll be 24 when we have our first child this January :)
Significant milestones? Well, I earned a Bachelor's degree at 25. Still no kids, never been married at 34. But, after May 1st 2010, I will be a married man, if all goes as planned. Heh, heh.
You're only as old as you feel. I had my first baby two months before my 23rd birthday and I had my last baby at age 35- and I have plenty of friends having babies in their 30's & 40's. You're just involved in a younger group...
I'm 20 years old and I'll be 21 when I get my bachelors' degree next May! That's the biggest milestone I have in the near future. I definitely don't want to rush into marriage, as much as I love my boyfriend, I can maybe see us moving into together in the next year but I don't want to be married too young or have kids too young, you have your whole life for that and once you make that choice there's no going back. i want to make sure that we are both ready and in a good situation for those things when and if they happen. i would like to be married and have had children by the time i'm 30...hopefully. but however things work out i'm sure it will be for the best.
I feel the same way you do. I'll be reading something and then notice a birthdate in the 90's and it almost physically hurts, lol. I think it's pretty cool that the perspective of age is so different where you live, though... If I lived where you did I would feel younger. It does seem girls are doing everything really young here in the states these days. I did get married at 19 (I'm 29) but haven't had kids. My situation for getting married so young was kind of a unique complicated one, though.