Wednesday, 05 August 2009
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Smokin' Mommies - Have You Spotted Any Pregnant Smokers?
As I was leaving the parking lot after paying a bill I see this lady smoking but when she started turning around, I notice that she's pregnant. At first I wasn't sure. So I just took countless of glances (I didn't want her to think I was a stalker). It's confirmed. She's pregnant.
She looked like she was 7 months pregnant. Everything started moving in slow-motion. I saw her holding a cigarette and bringing it up to her mouth. Not once. Not twice. Heck, she was more than half way with her cigarette.
My heart sank. All I can wonder was what was going through her mind at that very second. Does she care about her baby at all? Is she purposely doing that to kill the baby because she can't afford an abortion? Isn't it illegal? Why the heck would she do such a thing?
That wasn't the first time I saw a pregnant lady do that. I work at my mom's beauty shop and we have a customer that got pregnant three times. Every time she would come here she would go outside and smoke.
Her second child is, I think 6 years old. She can hardly talk properly. I don't understand a word that she is saying. My mom told me that while she was pregnant she was on drugs.I'm no mommy, but I sure as heck want to be. And I most definitely know that I would NEVER EVER do that to my baby. I know I may not be able to stop it completely but is there something that I can do to help stop it? Or should I just go on and mind my own business? What do you do when you see a pregnant lady doing that?
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About the Author
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- From: acst2@xanga
- Name: Happy
- About Me: It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's sup--- nevermind its just Happy.
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Comments (103)
Yes. And drinkers. And rollerskaters.
yeah, i've seen it, and it's horrible. frankly, if you can't give up smoking for the short amount of time that is recommended for your baby, then you're too selfish to be a mother.
That's really annoying. But what can ya do?
A friend of a friend smoked while she was pregnant with both of her children. She also thought it was hilarious that her (way underweight and possibly had developmental issues) 18 month old would take a cigarette out of the pack, grab the lighter and try to light it (as told at a BBQ). I told her it wasn't funny. Needless to say that I did not get along with her. I feel awful for her children.
I wouldn't go up to a stranger about it but I would give them death stares. If it was a friend, I would tell them exactly what I think about it. Thankfully, I've never had a friend who was that stupid.
i smoked when i got pregnant my doctor informed me it is much safer for the baby not to quit or to quit very slowly then force it upon yourself and cause stress etc than to just quit. you never know she may have been having an awful day, in which case a cigarette is better than excessive stress. its still not good etc but you never know the situation and smoking esp at 7 months will not abort a baby and smoking while pregnant is legal.
I sure as hell cared about my baby but I had a cigarette VERY rarely in moments of extreme stress. She was fine from it, she was born early (and not as a result from me smoking I might add I had gallstones which caused stress on my body and aided in starting preterm labor, and an incompitant cervix as well) anywho she was born early and was breathing on her own from birth and perfectly healthy. Yes research says its not good, yes I made a point to quit (aside from a few here and there) but I'm not going to judge a mother for smoking because you just don't know. . drinking and drugs is another story.
Don't be so quick to make judgments. .
Honestly, I think I would have to speak up, if I didn't rip the cigarette out of the woman's hand.
I haven't ever seen it, but I would enraged if I ever did.
@viarah@xanga - Okay, I'm a smoker, and I'm sick of hearing this argument. Your baby literally can't breathe when you're smoking. That, to me, seems infinitely more stressful than just about any situation I could come up with. Smoking while pregnant is purely selfish. You're not doing it to "protect the baby from withdrawal" or anything like that...sorry, but I refuse to believe that stress is more harmful to an unborn child than lack of oxygen. Not trying to jump all over you, but I seriously hate that argument. I hear it constantly from girls at work who smoke over a pack a day, closer to two, and really? I just don't buy it. I don't blame anyone for a cigarette once a week or month or so. It's whatever. No, it's not good for the baby, but everyone slips. But people who use it as an excuse to continue smoking just as much as they did pre-pregnancy? ARGH. (And I get that's not what you did, I'm just thinking of a particular girl who's pregnant right now that really pisses me off when it comes to this.)
Yeah, I went to the hospital during the winter and a pregnant girl in a hospital dress walked outside to have a cigarette with her friends and boyfriend. She was younger than me by like a year so probably about sixteen which made is so much more gross to see. My dad looked at her and shook his head because my mother used to smoke but quit when she was pregnant with my older sister so this young girl could have quit too.
I smoked when I was pregnatn, bring it on bashers, no really I'm not going to respond to anyone that has anything to say about me smoking. It's definitely not that I didn't care about my daughter, it's called addiction, and stress, and everything else. It's not like I didn't feel guilty about it, just couldn't stop. I know everyone would like to say "you just do it, it's not that hard, it kills your baby, and it's bad for your body, and the environment..." I KNOW!!!!!! Fact of the matter is you don't know what's going on in that lady's life or any other pregnant smoker. My daughter had NO health issues scored an 8/9 on the apgar tests, and was born 9 days before her due date(which is COMPLETELY normal), and weighed a healthy 7 pounds 5 ounces. She is developmentally perfect, if not a little bit better then some of her friends that are the same 14 months as she is. I'd rather see someone smoking a cigarette when knocked up then hitting say a crack pipe or smoking weed even. I think that's way worse.
@Kshorkey@xanga - That's great that your daughter is fine, but the fact is not every pregnant lady who smokes is going to be that lucky.
I see it, and it's disgusting.
If you're so selfish that you can't quit smoking for your child, you shouldn't be having them.
and I don't believe that any doctor would tell you it's safer to keep smoking. If they do, they're just trying to make you feel better.
Your baby cannot breathe when you smoke. Why would you willingly suffocate them?
not to mention after they're born, and they have to breathe the second hand smoke all the time.
nothing pisses me off more than a smoking pregnant woman..
According to doctors, after the seventh month of your pregnancy smoking doesn't affect the baby.
Sad.
@doLc3@xanga - Haha, your comment is funny, while everyone is ranting on and on, yours is just. "Sad." There's nothing wrong with it.. I just thought it was funny.
@viarah@xanga - @Kshorkey@xanga - Yeaaaah, maybe it was the crack that got to her baby. I just felt bad. But hey, thank you for your point of view. Don't stress. I was just wondering, that's all. Thank you again.
@X_Beautifully_Fragile_X@xanga - Oh really? I didn't know that. Thank you for the info!
@fueledbylaura@xanga - Rollerskaters? Is it because they might trip? If so... then yeah...I'm concerned.
@Kshorkey@xanga - im gunna have to disagree with you . im 6 months pregnant and before i found out i was pregnant i smoked . and i had a lot of stressful situations thrown in my face , not to mention a 3 year old who is going through terrible 3's . and as soon as i found out i was pregnant it was not hard for me to quit . i had bigger responsibilities , a LIFE inside me that i had to provide for and care for . when you become pregnant , its selfish for you to keep smoking . that is a pleasure that you enjoy . so go ahead , smoke it up . and just because your daughter was fine doesn't mean that your next wont have issues . i had a friend who smoked and her son had to have heart surgery on top of the asthma that he recently developed . a woman who couldn't have children would probably love to strangle people like you .
I have endometriosis and the doctor did give me high hopes that I can concieve, but it seriously affects me when I see women smoking while pregnant, and I even tell my husband that I don't understand it. Why are there women who can smoke,take all the risks they want, because smoking is a big risk, and then theres women like myself who if I get pregnant could potentially have risks, and yeah I know smoking does relieve stress and every other reason you can come up with, when you can have a healthy baby and other people aren't so lucky.
eww that is freaking gross. I'm glad my mom isn't a loser and stopped smoking with me. She is very addicted and still smokes today but 20yrs ago she had enough love for me to put the ciggies down. this post makes me feel better about my own mom
@X_Beautifully_Fragile_X@xanga - but when they are out of the womb, it can be hazardous to their systems, which are very vulnerable...
These kind of situations are exactly why I don't like the kumbaya, we're-all-good-moms-so-let's-keep-our-opinions-to-ourselves bull. Smoking in general is bad for your health. I imagine it's even worse when you're pregnant. I think it's perfectly normal and acceptable for us to be outraged at the idea of a pregnant woman smoking.
I won't say too much on the subject, because we have a friend who smoked while pregnant. She told me this while I was pregnant and it made me furious. I haven't said anything to her, though. Like many others, she would probably swear up and down that her kids are "perfectly healthy". The truth is, we'll never really know until they get older. Some health problems don't even manifest until adulthood. At the same time (and thanks to watching Mad Men), I'm aware that pregnant women used to smoke (and drink), and somehow that generation of babies didn't turn out all bad. It's definitely not an all or nothing situation, but it's always better to be cautious.
I don't know where you all are from but here in California we have a free quit smoking program that will help pregnant women quit smoking. The number is 1800NoButts, so if you see a pregnant lady smoking in CA, talk to them gently and tell them to call that number. Maybe they don't know there are programs out there to help them. I think there are similar programs in other states as well.
I quit smoking when I got pregnant. No, it wasn't easy, but I did it. There were a few women that I worked with who continued to smoke and it pissed me off.
Yes, some kids do come out fine, but others don't. Why would a woman really want to take that chance for a stupid cigarette?
Smoking is just one thing that you have to give up for your child. There will be many other things that parents have to give up too: privacy, alone time, money, etc. If they can't handle giving up smoking, then sh*t is going to hit the fan when they realize that the world doesn't revolve around them anymore.
I say, take responsibility and grow the f*** up.
@searchingfortreasures@xanga - I'm from Guam. I'll check up on that & see if we have one. Thank you.