Monday, 03 August 2009
I am writing this post because as of late I have been reminded of the horrors that my childhood brought. I am seeing more and more teenage girls and pre-teen girls getting themselves into dangerous situations that will eventually ruin their entire lives. It's heart breaking to watch so many girls go through the things I did.
To begin with, I was abused my whole life. Abused mentally, and physically. My long thick hair was treated as a leash and my mom would throw me across the room by wrapping it around her hand. Her boyfriends molested me when I was as young as 3. My little sisters father molested me and abused me in other ways at the age of 5. She hated ME for it instead.
When I got older I found myself in situations that no 11 or 12 year old should be in. I made the choices out of being lonely to seek older guys in chatrooms, to have someone to talk to. I'm sure I freaked a lot of them out. It was dangerous. I gave one guy my phone number. To make a long story short...he turned out to be a murderer and is doing life in prison right now.
My mom was oblivious. She never noticed the things people did to try to hurt me. She didn't believe me when I told her that a big scary black guy came to our house when she was grocery shopping on July 3rd 2003. He tried to rape me, and would have, if my little sister wasn't there staring at him with her angry blue eyes. No one believed me when I said the boy next door (who was 19) convinced that black guy that I would put out.
I was 12, I didn't even have a full understanding of what all that meant.
She didn't know when I started self harming myself in 4th grade. She didn't know that I didn't eat for 2 weeks. She didn't even care. When she found out about my cutting habits in 8th grade, all she did was beat me and call me whore, and threatened to kill us all by driving into the lake. I was always terrified of driving over bridges or bodies of water because of that.
Parents, please, protect your daughters. I don't know how you should go about doing that, because I'm not a parent. I just know that I was hurt a lot as a young girl, because my parents didn't protect me. Because no one protected me. Love your daughters friends too, even if you don't like them. Because even though you don't, you may be the only motherly figure they get in their life. You could change their life by being the only one who cares.