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Mama Ladybug So last night during my occasional insomnia episode, I scrolled across MTV's new show called "16 & Pregnant." The show captures the lives of pregnant teenagers and their families, and how they all cope with the tough situation.
On last night's episode, it was even harder than a regular pregnancy, labor, and birth because this particular 16 year old was giving her baby up for adoption.
I have never witnessed the process, so I appreciated the fact that they taped the interview with the adoptive parents, the birth mom fearing looking at her baby, and even the goodbye from her to her baby. It was heartbreaking.
I do understand the birth mother's decision in wanting her baby to have a life that she knew she couldn't provide, but it was so sad to watch.
She needed a signature from her mother, and her mother refused because she didn't agree with the decision to give the baby away, and neither did the boyfriend's family, who was involved in the adoption process.
Would you stand behind you child's decision to give their baby up? Do you know anyone who has given up their child?
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Comments (67)
I think I would offer to care for the baby. What if your child regretted it later? This way, that wouldn't ever have to be an issue.
I can't imagine what I would do. I would hope that my daughter would let me adopt my grandchild but I know that would be hard, too.
I was 16 and pregnant once, too, and my mother told me that there wouldn't be any giving my baby away (not that I wanted to). I didn't really feel like it was her right to tell me that so I would hope that I would support my child's decisions better.
absolutely. It would be the hardest thing in the world for me to have done but yes.
I know a person that adopted her baby out was a realistic girl and she did the best thing. She is also more centered and doing something great with her life. As for the adoptive parents...they are amazing. They send me pics to send on to the family and they let me know all the major things so that the bio-mom and dad can see that they did the best for their child. It was the best thing for everyone. But mostly for the little girl. She is now 9 and just a beautiful gem. She knows her story and we keep adding on to it.
I would want to offer to adopt the baby or at least get temporary custody until she was of age and could take over as a responsible parent. However it's her body, her choice. If the baby is a constant reminder of her lost childhood (i.e. baby's father was abusive, rapist, etc), then I don't really have a right to keep it around just because it makes me feel better. Of course, if she's an adult I have to keep my mouth shut.
This is what worries me about having a daughter. Hopefully, she'll be too scared of getting pregnant like I was and we won't even have to worry about it
It's a hard decision, if I were able financially and emotionally able to I would like to take the burden off of my daughter, though I think adoption is an excellent alternative to abortion, I think if at all able children in families should stay in families, though that's not always the case. And if it were BEST for the BABY, regardless of how I feel or my daughter or son would feel, I think whatever's best for the baby is what should happen. So I wouldn't say no, and would say yes if that were right for the circumstance.
If I was able to adopt the baby myself, then I'd offer too. I'm sure it would be hard, and I can't begin to understand, but If my child didn't want me to adopt the baby and wanted the baby to go to someone else, I would try to be strong and stand behind her decision.
What I don't understand is why she needed a signiture from someone who didn't help make the kid. Or why the post was named "Would You Let Your child Give Your Baby Away". Unless there was some incest going on, the baby isn't yours.
I am bitching about this show right now on Facebook - I hate it. I HATE WATCHING THIS CRAP. I was 16 and had a baby.. I'm 21 and have three babies.
Don't have sex if you are not mature or able to support a baby. There are NO excuses for it. I will be damned if I have to argue over it. Sex is pleasurable, yes it's fantastic but so are kids. Why would you risk pleasure for the suffer and heartache for the rest of your life? To grow something so special and beautiful and have to give it away? I couldn't do it.
I was a teen parent but I do not support teen pregnancy or pregnancy in general if you are not prepared to have a child. Seriously. So angry about this I can't stand it
I thought the birth father in this episode was also amazing, I feel like it's pretty rare to hear about/see cases where the father is so present in giving away the baby. The way he reacted really touched me. That baby is so lucky.
@Mari - That was one of the biggest things about this episode that blew me away. He was just absolutely amazing.
I think in that particular circumstance, in that episode, those teens did the VERY BEST thing possible. I was impressed with how they stood their ground and wanted better for their child even though no one else supported them. Those two were amazing to me.
And in all honesty, no, I wouldn't take my children's children. That is their decision to make and if they are mature enough to have sex and make the decision to give that child up for adoption, I will stand by them and support them in giving their child a good life. I'm not going to walk around behind my kid and clean up their messes.
I suppose I have a different perspective on this since my daughters biological mother was a single teen parent, but I think it was the most amazing thing to see those teens make such a great choice for their baby.
Those parents are so stupid. The daughter is trying to be smart and brave, and they just put her down for it. This could ruin her life.
I'm someone who placed a child for adoption as a teenager. I could not care for this child so I chose to find a family who could give her the care she needed. My parents totally supported my decision and helped me through it.
Tough decision... I don't think I can really say how I feel until I'm put in the situation, which will not be for a long time yet!
I would be... more accepting of someone in my family giving away their child to someone else in the family. I have a friend who was formally adopted by his Aunt when he was born, and my mother gave up her maternal rights to me and I was adopted by my grandparents. Neither he nor I have ever had any of the problems that I see with others I know who were adopted by strangers. Not that it means much, I know there are many adoptees out there who never have a problem with it.
However, sometimes it is just not possible; but adoption is infinitely more preferable (in my opinion) than abortion. Anywas, if the girl's mother was not going to allow her grandchild to be put up foradoption, then she (and the boyfriend's parents) should be ready to be supportive in EVERY way and not just use the baby as a punitive measure against the girl.
I would be curious to know why her mother had to sign for her. I guess it is different state to state but my understanding here is that the mother and the father have to sign away rights and that is it. I know where I live even if you are under 18 you sign you own consents in the hospital while pregnant. You are considered an adult and able to make your own decisions regarding care.
I would support my daughter or son in making that decision. I would want to make sure that they had weighed all their options though but I wouldn't stand in the way. Both decision to keep or adopt are hard in their own ways. I know how difficult it is to be a single mom. IMO the last thing my kids would need in an already difficult situation is me pitching a fit.
I haven't seen this episode but I have seen a few a the shows. Some of the girls seem to get it together and some of them seem to think that their mom will just take care of it for them. You can tell they have no clue what they are in for.
I would give her pros and cons, suggest her and the father (if he were still around) to write out a list and discuss it amongst themselves. Of course I would provide direction and offer opinions, but the ultimate choice would be HERS and I would stand by it.
@belle_figlie@xanga - Yeah, I think we all get that....but the girl is already pregnant. What is she gonna do? Well, she has a variety of choices and I think in this instance, she made a GOOD decision. I don't think anyone here is advocating teen pregnancy as a good thing, but trying to understand what it would be like to be a pregnant teen who is making a good choice for her child.
I hope that, if I have a daughter, I'm a good enough parent to raise her to be smart enough not to get pregnant before she's married.
if I were able financially and emotionally able to I would do it. But if I couldn't, I'd much rather her give the baby up, then try and just damage the baby with emotion scars and barely be able to care for it and feed it.
xo
Absolutely yes,
If a young woman has the courage to admitshe is not ready for motherhood and truly wantswhat is best for her baby, I think she should be supportedin her decision. The fact she wants to carry the baby toput up for adoption is to be commended.To force her to keep the baby can lead to disaster. Case inpoint, Casey Anthony, As you know she didn't want her daughterKaylee, but her mother insisted she keep her. I think we all knowthat outcome, How much did that baby suffer? It's hard to let a baby go, but it'seven harder to expect a baby to have a baby.My oldest child is 5 years old. But when she gets to the age where she may be having sex. i will explain pregnancy to her. Then if she does get pregnant their would be no way i would let her give the baby up . I know she would regret it. when she decided to settle down and get married . and have more kids, with her husband. I wouldnt allow her to do that.
the mother had to sign, I'm assuming because the girl is underage.
While I think it is very nice that so many say they would offer to raise the child if their child wanted to give it up for adoption that isn't really being fair to your child. They are already making a huge and very hard choice, they may not WANT you or anyone else they know to have their baby, seeing it everyday. If they wanted to see it everyday, and be a part of it's life, then why couldn't they just ask you to HELP them rather than put the baby up for adoption. As much as it hurts for the grandparents to lose the baby they really have to think about what they are doing when they even make that offer.
I know, because my parents and sister went through this when she was pregnant at 15. She thought of adoption, and my parents thought of taking the baby as their own. In the end she kept her son.
And I honestly think if young girls can get birth control, morning after pills, and ABORTIONS without parental consent then they are mature enough to put their baby up for adoption without it.
I don't know why so many of you would offer to raise the child yourself. I think everyone wants what is best for their children/grandchildren, but part of being a parent I think is learning how to let your children grow up and deal with the repercussions of their own decisions. Would it break my heart in every way to watch my child go through that? Absolutely. But I would see her as the most strong, brave, and intelligent woman for making such a difficult decision and sticking to it. I know I could never do it.
If you watch the show tho the mother of the 16 year old was a druggy and drinks more then you can believe and her bfs familly isn't any better ...