Saturday, 18 July 2009
As I am typing this post, my mother is talking to my grandmother. They are talking about one subject that bothers the family the most, my brother. My parents suffer as they talk about him, and I suffer as well too. It is so hard holding back the tears as the letters appear on the screen every time I press a letter. Where do I begin on my rant about my brother? Let's just stick to the basic things, things that just happened this year.
-My brother had brought in a specific item into school, was caught with it, and did not want to come home that day. Well, of course he came that was when we had to go and find him of course. The reason being that he was scared of our parents, but if he never brought it in the first place, he wouldn't have been so scared now would he?
Reluctantly, I gave him my phone the day that he was suspended and did not want to go home. Since my dad had confiscated his phone due to the bill. I'm glad that we found him, but he could have just came home and sat down with my mother and explained things to her instead of just running away.
-Many many times has he gotten into arguments with my father. Most of the time, he doesn't realize that he started everything in the first place. Of course, if he hadn't made a mess and never cleaned it up, my father wouldn't have been yelling at him now would he? He just doesn't understand.
-My mother was sent to the hospital because she had cracked her hip bone. What did my brother do? Nothing, absolutely nothing. The time when my mother fell, she was yelling out for him, what was he doing? Sitting at his computer, with his music playing, no he did not have any headphones on. It wasn't until my father came out, that she had gotten help.
Later on, when my father went to go visit her, he just wanted to stay home, in his room. I even went to go and visit my mother everyday while she was in there, my brother, none until she was brought home.
-All day everyday, it is the computer. He comes home, opens the door and goes straight to his room and he does not come out because he is too busy on his computer. He purchases things, and leaves in on. Does he not understand that in this economy he can not pay the bills so he can not leave the computer on for so long?
And what is up with all the purchases? Sure he has a job, but I'll talk about that later. If he is going to buy so many things, and no worry about money, how is he going to pay for things later on in life? I'm not so sure myself either.
-If it weren't for me, my brother would be jobless. In the beginning of the year, he told me about this job, it sounded really interesting. I asked him about it for a while. I also helped him get a job, but he didn't want to get the job at first because he was going to go for a chance at another job, guess what? He didn't get the job, and what was he left with? The one that I helped him get. In the end, he told me that he couldn't get me this job that I wanted. It wasn't a win-win situation as he promised. Bummer.
I can go on, but I prefer not to.
Today, he left the house without any notice. This is one thing that he does all the time. He hasn't come home yet and he hasn't picked up his phone at all. Honestly, we don't know what to do with him now, and his dropping grades.
My brother is not a man, I repeat, my brother is not a man. My mother and I have come to a conclusion. He will be turning 18 in about 2 months and 7 days. I hope he is not reading this right now, for if he is, he better man up and grow up fast. He will come home, and find his bags packed.
Until he comes to his senses to learn how to be a man, he will not be coming home. He also can't hold us accountable because there have been some endless arguments with him about growing up and starting to care about the world around him, family wise and future wise.
I sat down with a counselor the other day. He told me to let him go, other wise he would live his life depending on a female partner. Since me and my mother do take care of him a lot. We do love him a lot, but we also need to let him go so he could learn. Even though we will be up at times thinking about what he is doing right now and how he is doing. I will end this here right now, so I could stop the river of tears my mother and I cry.
What do you think about this?