Thursday, 16 July 2009
-
Breastfeeding Tirade
Let me just say this up front: I am a mother of three, and I have breastfed all three kids. My first, I nursed for 6 months until I went back to work outside the home full-time. My next two kids I nursed for the 12 weeks I took off for maternity leave, and then I nursed them part-time for about 1-2 weeks more. Breastfeeding was a choice for me and my family, and I enjoyed it. The benefits for both baby and mother were evident, and I would recommend it to any mother.
BUT...
My assistant's son and his wife just had their first baby last Sunday. At the hospital where they had it (HEB, for those in the area), they claim to be "pro-breastfeeding." In order to "encourage" breastfeeding, they refuse to keep the baby in the nursery for more than 1 hour at a time, and they require rooming-in with the mother for "bonding" purposes. They will not bottle feed the baby. Period. (At least this is what my assistant says.)
I do not call this "pro-breastfeeding." I call this militant. Seriously, I think it's ridiculous to not keep the baby in the nursery longer than one hour simply because the mother is breastfeeding. All three of my children stayed in the nursery between feedings at night in the hospital, and they bonded just fine. Actually, my first child never made it back to my room because she had an infection and stayed in the NICU for 10 days. She was even fed pumped breastmilk from a bottle, with an occasional formula bottle thrown in. <GASP!!> And you know what? She nursed just fine after she got out.
Today, the son and his wife took their baby back to the hospital because they figured out that the baby was not getting any milk from the mother. By day 5, the milk should have come in, but it hadn't, and the baby was just not acting right. The hospital told them the baby was fine and to keep trying. They told the parents not to give the baby a bottle, and if they did, certainly don't let the mother give the baby a bottle because then the baby wouldn't bond. WHAT IS THE PROBLEM WITH THESE PEOPLE?!
The son wouldn't accept that, and took the baby to their pediatrician, who told them to start the baby on a formula bottle right away.
Of course, you can tell these are new parents because I would have just marched right up to the store and bought my baby some formula. But hey, all parents are new parents once, so I forgive them their panic in not knowing what to do.
My opinion is that the hospital has ridiculous rules and it should be up to the parents whether they want the baby to room-in or not. Plus, breastfeeding is great, but if it doesn't work for you, then let me tell you, your baby will bond just fine.
And if you want to be pro-breastfeeding, that's fine, but there's a line at which it's no longer just "pro" but rather it becomes militant and pushy and downright obnoxious. And that's where I think this hospital is.
-
recommend
- recs 1
-
share
-
email
- sent 0
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to momaroo's Momaroo Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in momaroo's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: utlawgirl@xanga
-
True 
Premium
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 7 Views: 0 5136 Comments: 0 96 View all posts by utlawgirl@xanga
Comments (31)
That is the craziest thing I have ever heard. I am totally pro breastfeeding, but come on. My last child was born with Down syndrome. Typically, a child with Down syndrome has a much more difficult time latching and it can become quite frustrating. If I had been at that hospital they would have really not liked me.
My daughter was in the NICU for a month. I was able to pump for the first three weeks, but (gasp) they had to supplement with formula more than once. There is supporting breastfeeding and there is crazy talk. This hospital sounds nuts. I sincerely hope that this turns out to just be an overwhelmed new mom not knowing how to assert herself. If this is the actual stand the hospital takes; I would steer very clear.
I will not let my baby stay in nursery. Maybe I am paranoid but I have heard of babies in nurseries getting switched at birth and getting stolen right from under the noses of nurses and doctors. I'm not willing to take that chance and will not let my baby out of my sight if I can help it. I'm pro-breastfeeding but a stupid hospital saying you HAVE to breastfeed is ridiculous. I plan on breastfeeding exclusively for the first year of my baby's life (When I do have kids eventually) and co-sleeping as well. But I would never say you HAVE to breastfeed if you can't or choose not to do so. I think that hospital is full of idots.
That is a little strange for a hospital to have so many rules like that.
I think those are all good ideals, but they should be up to the parent. I think if the parent wanted to do those things, then that would be great. My wife and I have never had our kids go to the nursery, and we have never given them formula. To me, formula is pretty dumb except in cases of emergency / nutrition issues. It's like 'hey, should I go spend a ton of money on an inferior product, or use this free one that is the best thing possible for my baby, and will make them more healthy and smarter? I guess I'll choose formula!"
I think most pediatricians these days are too quick to recommend formula. They should be encouraged to breastfeed, but given formula just in case. (that ironically enough sounds like my position on sex and condoms...)
It's not that uncommon for the mother's milk not to have come in by 5 days. Mine is always a day or two delayed and didn't come in for my son until 6 days after he was born. Babies won't starve during that first week, they'll just take a bit longer to get back up to their birthweight.
But yeah, the hospital does seem a little militant about the whole thing.
It sounds like you may be getting a skewed version of the rules at the hospital. Honestly, it's more likely that new parents, in all of the new baby craziness, have misinterpreted or misrepresented things unintentionally. Nothing I'd fault them for, but something to consider.
I'd love to know if she had help from a lactation consultant. So few women are truly unable to breastfeed; most who quit do so because they don't have the confidence or proper education in what they're trying to do, so they fail. It's not a fail for the moms who don't end up doing it, it's a fail for the system that stinks at educating and supporting them.
I agree with averyswife, my milk didn't come in for 4 days, and I never formula fed. My pediatrician said that was completely fine. Maybe if my daughter was a premie I would've worried about it more, but she was a healthy 9lb baby.
The hospital does sound strict....but if you don't like it, don't deliver your child there. =) That's why you should look into hospitals BEFORE you deliver.
The hospital where I had my third son had no nursery at all. They had an area to do any tests then it was back with the mother, the person who should care for their child, not hospital staff. If the mother wants to give a bottle, they will bring the formula but they will not be the ones caring for the child. That hospital sounds similar and I find nothing wrong with that. That isn't being pushy with breastfeeding, that is just putting the child's care with the parents as it should be.
As for the keep trying with breastfeeding, it depends on if the baby was gaining weight or not. How did they know the baby wasn't getting milk? It could have been just fine or not, hard to say with little facts.Â
I wouldn't have given my baby formula unless it had been over seven days. Some women have trouble getting their milk to come in all the way. But the baby IS getting the colostrum which is full of nutrients. I was very blessed that my milk came in within 48 hours of giving birth and my son was up past his birth weight after four days. We don't use bottles either. That's just our situation. Although that will change soon. :( My husband wants a date night so my mom is going to babysit....anyway....
My personal take would not be to give the baby formula until the first
week had past...then I'd be worried about my milk supply and if my
child was getting enough. Actually, I'd probably still not give formula
yet...we have a milk bank here and I'd use that first before resorting
to formula.
The hospital should lets parents decide how to parent their kids though.
Ummm... if you plan on breastfeeding your baby.. then you should keep your baby in your room- its easier then to feed the baby "on demand". If you plan to formula feed, you probably still should keep your baby in your room. Hospitals are not day care centers. Parents need to take care of their babies.. otherwise you're in for a shock when you get home and have to do all that without a nurse. Come on now.
Oh yeah, and my most recent baby my milk didn't come in until about day 6.. he was a little slow to gain in the beginning, but totally got chunky after a few weeks! lol
Wow, I think that I would have totally given up on trying to breastfeed my first son if I hadn't been able to feed him expressed milk from a bottle. My labor was long and intense, and I was a wreck trying to get him to latch. My breasts were over engorged with milk, to the point where my areola was too hard for the baby to latch. I don't know what I would have done if I couldn't have given him breastmilk in a bottle.
I was also lucky to have a really great lactation consultant who encouraged me to keep trying with him, and never gave me crap about "nipple" confusion.
I think the most bizzare thing about this story is the not letting mom give him a bottle. I mean, pediatricans say that dad giving baby a bottle helps them to bond...it's just so bizzare.
That sounds like a very unusual hospital! Most of the ones I've heard about seem downright anti-breastfeeding. I was blessed to give birth last time in a pro-breastfeeding hospital where the doctors and nurses really supported me and seemed to truly believe in the benefits of nursing. They totally did not get all militant about it, though! I don't think I would have been looked down on if I'd wanted to formula-feed because I know there were other moms doing it in the NICU.
I wonder if that hospital is truly so "militant" about their rules or if that's just how worried new parents perceived the birth center's suggestions. I delivered at a hospital that supported rooming in (they would take the baby up the the nurses desk where everyone would watch her
if you asked because you needed sleep), encouraged breastfeeding, and warned about the possible nursing problems that offering a bottle or a pacifier too early can cause. I thought it was great! With both my children my milk didn't come in til at least five days, and the hospital just helped me supplement with formula with a special "nursing" system that still let my daughters nurse at the breast while being supplemented with formula for a few days. In each case we only needed to give some formula for less than a week, then my milk supply was great. I have to say, I'd rather have a hospital thats almost too pro-breastfeeding (because, truth is, if you don't want to, they can't make you) then not supportive enough of what can be a difficult process to start for the first time.
wtf? They'd rather the baby starve than not have breast milk?
I would hav given my son milk from a bottle anyway.
Oj I definitely agree with you on this. The hospital I was suppose to deliever in has the babies room with the mother. But, my son was seven weeks early so I was transported to a different hospital prior to his birth and he stayed in the NICU the first 25 days of his life. I pumped up until the last week or so because it was just so difficult to keep up with . I did however beastfeed him once in the hospital and few times when he came home and he latched on just fine. I didn't enjoy the actually breast feeding though. I preferred pumping but unfortunately, I didn't get too because the milk dried up soon after he came home. But what the hospital said is just craziness! My son is now five months old and I don't think babies who are not breastfed bond any different with mothers/parents who don't. That would be like telling me because I was not with my son every minute of every day the first 25 days of his life that we didn't/wouldn't bond. I saw him every day and now and even then we bond just fine.
Wow, sounds like they're pretty out there. I work at a hospital that is pro-breastfeeding, and we room in, we don't even really have a nursery. But babies can still come out and sit at the nurse's station with us at night if the parents need it. We also have formula for cases where breastfeeding isn't working out. I'm very hardcore about breastfeeding. My daughter took a full week to learn how to latch on and I fed her with a syringe so she wouldn't get a bottle. Even I would not have been as extreme as that hospital...
It sounds like this hospital is or is working towards being a "Baby Friendly" hospital. Go here for more info: http://www.babyfriendlyusa.org/eng/index.html
I don't think it's militant at all. I think that in our society we've become so used to viewing breastfeeding and breastmilk as way less important than it actually is. Or is it that we've become accustomed to viewing formula as a superior alternative?? At the hospital I delivered 3 out of my 4 babies, I was told that the baby was MY responsibility and that they wouldn't take the baby to the nursery either. I like what someone else said here - the hospital/matenrity floor is not a daycare center. When you give birth at home (like I did) or at a birth center - those mothers do absolutely fine without nurses and nurseries.
As a prenatal educator, DONA certified birth doula, and breastfeeding counselor - I'd have to say that somehow somwhere, this young couple lacked the help they needed to persevere. Just being told "it's fine - keep at it" is not enough. We know that one of the biggest reasons that breastfeeding duration rates are so incredibly low in the nation is because parents don't know where to get help. I tell all my students/clients that at the first sign of trouble - they should be seeking the help of an LC, or through LLL, or through a breastfeeding clinic. The answer isn't usually found in formula and bottles. The answers are usually found in educated lactation consultants who know how to trouble shoot, and can assist breastfeeding itself while making sure the baby is getting fed. Giving formula before the baby is a week old is like saying to the mother "you're a failure. Here- use this, obviously your breasts don't work."
I'm also a bit saddened by the belief that breastfeeding is *only* about bonding. Or that dads should bond with their babies via bottlefeeding. There's so much more to breastfeeding than bonding, and there are so many ways to bond than to bottle feed! I don't think that we truly understand the life long benefits of breastmilk, nor do we understand the life long implications of formula.
That's just crazy. I wasn't breastfed, and I turned out just fine. I won't be breastfeeding my child because I had breast reduction. I lost one nipple, and I don't have much sensation in the other one, so the surgeon says no breastfeeding for me. Breastfeeding isn't that big of a deal imo, but what do I know, I'm not a scientist or a mom.
Parents have the right to choose to breastfeed or to use formula.
I'm glad the hospital I went to did not have a nursery, I was glad to keep the baby with me, it's my baby. I did visit a relative who was in a different hospital at one time, babies were kept in a nursery and brought to your room to visit at specific times, to me that was weird. It just makes you more aware about knowing as much information as possible about your location.
Okay, without getting into the typical breast-bottle battle, I don't think these were militant acts at all. After all, a newborn baby needs to be nursing every hour (sometimes more), so to bring the baby from the nursery every hour makes sense (we roomed in, much easier). Secondly, supplementing with formula not only CAN affect bonding (not always, but sometimes does) but it affects the baby's digestive system. Formula digests differently than breastmilk and that is a major reason why if you are pro-breastfeeding then you want to keep away from formula at least for the first 4 months. Thirdly, breastmilk is a supply-and-demand production so yes, when the hospital told them to keep trying to breastfeed, that was correct. I have been dried up for quite some time but I could put a baby to my breast and eventually produce milk again - someone who has never had a baby themselves could too (my sis-in-law did this with an adoption).
Not supplementing with nightly bottles (so mom can sleep - a noble reason to be sure!) is not only so that baby will "nurse fine" after as you say, but also because of those digestive differences, and because breastmilk has nutrients in it for newborns that cannot be fully duplicated as yet by formula. Even those who do not extend breastfeeding (I nursed each of my three for 2 years) any times will exclusively breastfeed in the early months because of this.
There are more questions to be answered: such as, what does it mean when they said the baby "wasn't acting right?" Lots of people think breastfed babies will act like formula babies and sleep longer and not eat as often, but that's because breastmilk goes through their systems faster so they eat more often. Also, was mom watching the clock too much? If mom is watching the clock too much and trying to time the feedings this can hamper the natural rhythm of the baby, who knows his body best. AND, if her milk had not come in yet, its possible that her body was producing more colostrum and that the baby needed that - which is HIGHLY important to the overall health of a child. A mother's body produces what that particular baby needs - even later when a child gets sick the mother will produce more anitbodies in her milk automatically. It is something science has never been able to fully explain or duplicate.
I don't think the hospital's suggestions were militant at all by how you describe them, however, if the new parents were not well-informed of all the reasons WHY these suggestions were made, then that was wrong. And breastfeeding takes alot of support and not too many voices coming at you from all kinds of directions - every child, every family is different, so the mother has to ultimately tune out everyone and listen to her child. Some families choose formula, and that is good that those options are available to them - but I don't think these new parents should be pushed into it because others are afraid their hospital is being "too militant" about breastfeeding. We should have more hospitals who give women a fighting chance at building a breastfeeding relationship with their child before adding formula. Most just start supplementing at nights right away. I had to fight to have the things that they were telling this woman to do! (rooming in, no night time bottles, no pacifiers, etc) I think she was lucky to have a place want to see the breastfeeding succeed.
Having said that, if she had concern that was not being helped, it was also wise for her to get a second opinion. I hope the baby is fine now!
@nicolevw@xanga -
"As a prenatal educator, DONA certified birth doula, and breastfeeding counselor - I'd have to say that somehow somwhere, this young couple lacked the help they needed to persevere. Just being told "it's fine - keep at it" is not enough. We know that one of the biggest reasons that breastfeeding duration rates are so incredibly low in the nation is because parents don't know where to get help."
YES! I totally agree... my best friend is a doula... she's educated me very well. :) And soooo many people don't have the support or information they need to really create a healthy breastfeeding rhythm with their babies, especially in the beginning. So true. Also, I think people expect babies to just lay there and be quiet and breastfed babies are alert and wake more often and then people assume "they must not be getting enough" or whatever. And others say things like, "I gave my babyformula and look, he's fine". This isn't the support someone needs who is questioning everything especially as a new parent.
When I was in nursing school doing my OB clinicals they didn't keep any babies in the nursery at all unless they were sick. We would take them to the nursery to do their daily assessments, heel sticks etc. but then they went right back to rooming in with mom. This was for bonding purposes, security (they have many threats every month), and safety (Mom is much more likely to notice something being not quite right about her own baby than a nurse with 5 other babies to care for).
It's also much better to have the baby handled by less people (people in nurseries just like to touch the babies all the time and they don't always wear gloves or wash hands between babies because "they're not sick or anything!"
I think rooming in is wonderful and if I were planning on having a hospital birth I would never let them place my baby in a nursery unless they were ill.
this is interesting to read. I don't have kids, but the benefits of breast feeding are undeniable. I am actually kind of bitter my mom didn't breastfeed me. I might have turned out better.
I would breastfeed my kids if I had em. lol
When I was born everyone told my mum she had to breast feed for at least 2 months (god knows why) so she persevered even though it was really painful for her and I was clearly not taking well to it. For those first 2 months I was underweight, barely slept, constantly crying and irritable. So after 2 months my mum changed to formula and almost right away I put on weight, slept better and was a much happier baby.
My mum breast fed my brother for 2 weeks and saw the same pattern with him and changed over.
My point is that it is a case by case thing. Of course breastmilk is great for babies but there's nothing wrong with you if you give your baby formula. My brother and I have turned out fine, we rarely got sick as children, didn't have learning difficulties or any of the other things that are associated with substituting formula for breast milk.