I'm pregnant.
Eight, almost nine weeks to be exact. Somewhere amid all the arguing and lack of communication, my husband and I managed to be content long enough for him to knock me up. Honestly, it couldn't have happened at a better time. For the first time in a long time, with the help of counseling and God, we are happy and communicating like never before. Things aren't perfect, nor will they ever be, that's just impossible for any couple, but we actually talk and enjoy each other's company now.
We were going to wait until after twelve weeks to spread the news, because of the high risk of miscarriage during that time, but we couldn't contain our excitement and told everyone a few days ago. My mom wasn't exactly thrilled. Last night she came over and I could sense the hostility from the moment she walked in.
Her: How many more do you want?
Me: Uhm, I don't know...
Her: Well, I think you're too young to be having this many kids.
Me: That's a matter of opinion and you're forgetting that I may be young and have plenty of time to have children but he is 41 and doesn't have the kind of time I do.
Her: Well, maybe it's time for him to stop having kids.
Me: Mom, that's something only me and him can decide.
Then she went on and on about how she is frustrated and bitter because she never got to do anything with her life and she wants me to have a career and be successful and how she is worried about me going through another c-section, bla bla bla....
Call me harsh, but I didn't buy that. I've been hearing her sob stories since I was a little girl and she has used them to manipulate me into always doing what she wants me to do. She has a way of making me feel like the worst daughter and even the worst human being in the world. She did the best she could raising me and I will always acknowledge that she worked her ass off to provide for her family and help my dad with expenses, but I am just now healing from the words and actions of a neurotic, unstable, overprotective mother and I refuse to live through that all over again. I love her unconditionally and my kids and I need her in our lives and, while I can appreciate her opinion, there are things in my life that only my husband and I can decide. Period.
I'm having a baby and I'm happy about it. My husband is happy. Our kids will have a baby brother or sister and they will be happy. This is MY life, let it be known.
Comments (45)
congratulations
Haha okay. Congrats :)
I totally agree with you. Congratulations on your pregnancy!
Your family's negativity will wear off eventually.
Congrats. If you're happy about this baby, then I am happy for you.
fIRST OFF I WANT TO SAY CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR NEW BUNDLE OF JOY. WAHOO FOR THAT.
That is crazy what your mother said. i would have been so upset after that conversation. Its funny because u would expect her to say something like that if hmmm maybe if u wasnt married. But obviously she doesnt see it that way and she is only worried about the numbers of kids your HUSBAND and U are going to have. I say have as many kids as u want to....your married and u and ur husband can do that. Its not like ur sleeping around. People tend to forget that...when your married u should be able to have as many kids as u want (well of course if u are finacially stabled). For my husband and I, we are DONE. three kids is all we can afford and we would not bring another child in this world if we can not afford him/her.
Congratulations! I had a lot of kids young too.. I'm 27 with 5 kids :D
Congratulations!
Congrats!
Congratulations on that. As for your mother, and her speech about being bitter because she never got a career, that's her. Not all women want careers. Not all women have kids and stay at home. What you do with your body is up to you and your husband, not your mother. Hopefully she understands that and comes to terms with it soon.
Ugh, that sounds so much like MY mom. Don't they realize how HURTFUL they're being? Hey, if we want to have a bunch of kids, it's OUR decision, not theirs and they need to be supportive like moms should be!
babies! great post. and you're right - those decisions are yours alone. ♦
your mom's problems are just that- HER problems. this is one thing i'm terrified about with my daughter- my mom was, overall, a good mother but i fear i'll do the same she did and project my own insecurities and judgmentalism onto my daughter until she takes them up for her own. i don't want that for her (or any of her potential siblings). i'm trying to rid my life of them now before she's old enough to pick up any bad habits. ;)
in other news, congratulations. good for you for standing up to her. you're right, it can only be your decision and i'm glad you told her that. i hope she decides to be supportive.
:)
Congrats!!! Babies are so exciting!
Congratss! Yay =]
Congrats : )
congrats, I am 28 and I have 5, (we lost our 1st at birth) anyhow you ever get the feeling people just don't liek to see you happy? Hope your husband and you work it out.
Congratulations
!!!!
congrats
MY index finger is making circles in the air! Woo Hoo! Another being on the over burdened planet. Good for you!
YEY BABY thats great :)
wishing you the best of luck
i totally understand your mother, i've had to deal with the exact same idea, major guilt trips and just feeling flat out incompetent because of her, and its only because of my wonderful boyfriend and friends now that i am starting to see that i am not entirely a terrible person.
Congratulations! I'm about the same number of weeks as you are with my third!
Like you, my mom wasn't exactly thrilled. I dreaded telling her because I had to hear it, too. It's just sad to me because I see all these other moms so excited over grandchildren who rush out and start buying baby things the minute they find out and my mom is so negative! A pregnancy/birth is something I'll never be able to enjoy with her. But oh, well. Thank goodness for xanga where you can just delete negative comments, ha ha.
Glad to hear things are going well with you and your husband. God bless you all!
@Kristenmomof3@xanga - @MangoWOW@xanga - @talula1984@xanga - @raved@xanga -
@TornadoChaser - @TornadoChaser - @they_call_me_steffyjean@xanga -
@orchestra3241@xanga - Thank you so much! I am 10 weeks now and feeling like crap. LOL. But I'm hanging in there.
my mom is the same way. he told me not to long ago that I should be married and have kids by now. Im 27. I went on to tell her that she was 31 when they adopted me and 34 when they had my brother. Mama not so smart with her thinking about that one. Sure id like to have a kid now, but I am not financially ready nor is my boyfriend...or to the fact we want to do it the right way...get married then have kids.
@lilsexypyrogirl@xanga - Yeah, she always acts like I'm not married and having kids with a bunch of different men. I understand she worries, but why can't she just be supportive? Anyway, thanks. I'm happy and so is my husband.
@pillowpixies@xanga - I agree. Some women are made for the business/working world which is perfectly fine, others just want the simple life. There is no right or wrong way of doing things. Everything will be ok if you follow your heart.
@averyswife@xanga - That's exactly what my husband says. It's not like they're paying OUR bills.
@follow_home@xanga - I have promised myself I will not treat my children the way she treated me. She tried her best to give me everything, but she was and still can be extremely overbearing and that gets old after a while.
@XDaemonessX@xanga - They certainly are, aren't they. Thanks for adding me and subscribing.
@princess_riceball@xanga - @aiinos@xanga - Thank you so much!
@opster25 - So sorry to hear about your 1st. I love big families and I always dreamed of having one.
@wunkiu@xanga - @shondadiane@xanga - Thanks =)
@kyohei_molester_no290877@xanga - It took me a while (a long while) to realize she isn't always right. She used to always make me feel like the biggest f*ck-up on the planet. I don't do that to myself anymore.
@Traci_Ladd@xanga - I know what you mean. My husband wanted to tell everyone so badly and I kept putting him off because I knew my mom would give me a hard time about it. He knows that if his mom were alive she'd be out buying baby things already.
Thanks for adding me and subscribing.