Currently, I am still in the midst of reading Ann Coulter's book "Guilty" and I already have some things to get off of my chest. I have to agree and disagree with Ann Coulter and her views on single moms and their so called "Baby Mama drama". Do I believe that single mothers are destroying society? No. Do I believe that single mothers are the reason that so many young men are behind bars? No. However, I do agree that some single mothers pose a problem. Let's talk about them now.
The Baby is a Paycheck Single Mother: These women purposely use the welfare system to their advantage. The more children they have, the bigger the check at the end of the month. They don't bother to raise their children because society will do it for them. They aren't buying clothes for their kids nor putting food on the table. No, they are too busy worrying about their own selfish needs to even care.
The I Want Unconditional Love Single Mother:You decided to have a baby because you want unconditional love? If you wanted that, you could have just bought a puppy. These women aren't ready to have children. Why? Because they are still in a selfish phase of life. These women need to look deeper within themselves and find why they aren't getting the love that they need. As the child gets older, this la la land perspective will quickly fade. Children may love you unconditionally but as they grow into adults, it doesn't mean they won't question your authority.
The Baby Machine Single Mother:You can find her hanging out with the Baby is a Paycheck Single Mother. This is the mother that continues to have children even though she is financially unable to take care of them. Not only is she financially unable but she is also both physically, mentally, and spiritually unable to provide for her children. Want an example? Naydya Suleman, the Octo-Mom. She already had seven plus kids and then had eight more!
*Note* When I say spiritually, I don't just mean religiously. But I mean, having a sense of self..which can also go along with mental health.
I agree with Ann when she says that these women play the victim and society allows them to get away with it. Nadya was glorified all over news and people such as Dr. Phil even took an interest to her. It was to the point that any relevent news was pushed to the side because Nadya was grocery shopping. Who cares!? We are sitting here trying to figure out how to get our country out of debt, but we're smiling and flashing cameras in the face of women who can't take care of her fifteen kids. We are calling for aid for this woman and her children while other children sit and wait to be adopted. We can spread the message that it is okay to have a bunch of kids and not take care of them because Oprah will be right there to give you a brand new car or some other ridiculous prize.
What about flashes and cameras for all the good mothers? What about prizes and money for them Oprah? What about an interview Dr. Phil?
No, because that wouldn't make any sense. How stupid of me to want to glorify Moms that actually do their job. There are good single mothers out there. Single mothers that are financially able to take care of their child. Single mothers that make sure their children get the best out of life and never go without. Single mothers that understands..okay my child doesn't have a father but he/she has a grandfather, godfather, or a mentor that takes a father's place.
Ann forgets to mention these single mothers. She talks about how young men are behind bars because of single mothers. Maybe if she was a bad single mother but you have good single mothers enrolling their children in afterschool programs, driving them to different sporting events, and being involved in their life. Not every single mother is waiting for her welfare check. There are single mothers that have raised their children just fine and I have great respect for them. Many of the women in my family were single mothers. Not by choice mind you but because the men they fell in love with were lousy. These single mothers raised great children. If anything it shows me, if I had to, if I must, I could raise a child on my own and he/she will come out alright.
I just dont' understand how society can reward bad mothers, single or not, 365 days out of the year and good mothers only get one holiday.
How do you feel about single mothers? Do you believe they contribute to the downfall of society?
Comments (19)
I'll state the obvious here - if a single mother is single because of something that was NOT her fault and she raises her children to be strong, healthy, positive contributions to society then of course it is ok. There are plenty of widows/divorcees that raise doctors, missionaries and heads of companies.
I do agree with your thoughts on the Baby Machines and Baby paychecks. I happen to know a few of these. I think that if a woman is having babies when she can't properly care for them she IS contributing to making this place worse for the children and they grow up to make it worse for mine.
If that's a picture of the author, she looks dehydrated, past her prime, jealous and barren. Cobwebs anyone?
Yes while there are plenty of single mothers that do the wrong thing, I beleive they are the minorityand we see them because they are loud and obnoxious. The single mother that goes without so that her child can have what they need to get through todays world is a God-send.
Your article pretends to defend single moms, but really you come across like you agree with the author.
The fact that you even took anything written by Ann Coulter and tried to act like it was logically sound says a lot. Ann Coulter lives to spew hatred and talk down to anyone that she feels she is better than, which is pretty much everyone in her mind. What does Ann Coulter even know about being a single mother? And like the previous comment said, she looks dehydrated and barren.
One of my best friends is a single mother. She's one of the sweetest people you'll ever meet. She has a job, her own place and everything she pays for herself. She even wants to go back to school one day to be able to help her son afford an education later.
However, I do see where you are going. I don't like people who try to take advantage of the welfare system. I still dislike Ann Coulter though because of her hate spreading agenda towards any single woman ( I remember her calling the wives of 9/11 "money seeking golddiggers").
I read guilty too but do not agree with everything she says about single Mothers, for part of the time my Mom was a single Mom and my Brother or I neither are in jail. I thank you for sharing this
In Christs Love
Michelle~
Ann Coulter is a bitch. Nothing that she writes has any validity, and no one will ever convince me otherwise.
what the fuck is this post?
how could you hate on a single mother? are you serious? Most of them, I'm sure, didn't even ask to be single. But they took the responsibility of still caring for that child, there for making them single. This post makes single moms look like animals, which they aren't. They are just like you and me, make mistakes and is raising a CHILD.
i have a problem with you blaming single moms when it took two people to make that baby. it's so easy to blame the primary caretaker, but did you ever stop to think how he/she came the primary caregiver? do you hate on single dads, too? yes, there are people like that in the world. there are also douchey leeches in all sectors of society - they probably were societal plagues before they became parents. most single moms aren't like that; why are you blaming "single moms" as a whole?
I actually know more good, responsible women who stepped up and took on both the mother and father roles than I do the Welfare Queen stereotype. I do think that's a highly-publicized minority, but I will agree that they make me angry.
Let me go on the record and say this, though: I don't care if it's a single parent home or a traditional nuclear family, I don't like when people continue to have babies they can't afford. I don't even care if they don't take government handouts. In this military journey of ours, I've met families who treat babies like collectors' items. They are work! You can't just keep popping out more because they get independent around age 2 and you want to feel "needed". I can see so many overwhelmed moms out with their 4+ kids born 8 months apart or whatever, scraping by because their husband's lower enlisted salary can't support their growing family. Think! That's all I ask. My husband's an officer and we're stopping at one - for now anyway. I owe my daughter better than "making ends meet". I want those ends to overlap.
*Gets down off soapbox.
@LiberalArmyWife@xanga - Amen!! I cannot stand when women become breeding machines because they earn more staying home and popping out babies then if they got a job and became productive members of society.
@onlyFORaLILwhile@xanga - The author said that there are good single moms who do a good job raising children. Unfortunately, there are also single moms who are working the system and not raising their kids, instead using them as a paycheck. Not every single mom is this way, but there are a lot of them. They tend to be the rule, not the exception. It's sad but it's true.
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - Agreed. Everyone seems to forget that a woman can't make a baby by herself, and there's someone else responsible as well.
sadly I have to deal with the baby machine and baby is a paycheck mother. Its sad that there are woman out there like that.....
but there are.
Wow what is with those of you that misunderstood the post and are now all pissy with its author? She was discussing Ann Coulter's bullshit and how she disagreed with most of it. Calm down!
My mother was a single mother most of my life, and I think I turned out alright. There are plenty of women out there raising kids all by their lonesome because some men suck like that, but there are also women out there milking the system or pumping out babies just to feel loved. We cannot go around judging single mothers as a unit, because each instance is different.@xiaosnowtenshi@xanga - Nadya Suleman managed to make eight "by herself," or at least outside the typical context of man+lady intercourse. No one else is responsible for that, other than maybe (in a really vague "you're all morons" kind of way) the doctors who agreed to it.
Interesting article - just wanted to point out that Nadya had six children before having the octuplets so she now has 14 children, not 15 as mentioned in the article.
Some single mothers choose to be in that situation. They use sperm donors or they oops a guy they know isn't ready to be a dad or they just don't tell the dad that they are pregnant. These women are usually not doing it for the good of the child, but for selfish reasons of some type.
But I know that there are also a lot of single mothers who do not choose to be in that situation. And in those cases, shame on those dads for not stepping up and providing for their children!
Even though Ann Coulter is a flaming bitch, the points you've made (based, presumably, on her points) are completely valid. I'm rec'ing.
@BelisaAmbrose@xanga - Amen. And that's a fairly decent picture of Ms. Coulter. Ick.
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Nadya was [is] a moron that didn't deserve the attention that she managed to get. You will find very, very few people that will argue that. She is, however, a rare breed of crazy, thankfully. Now can we please never mention her ever again? Dang it, I had completely forgotten about the crazy lady until reading this.
I'm definitely with you on how you never see the good single moms. My mother was a single mother for quite some time [my father was in the military and my parents split up. He tried to be there as much as possible but it wasn't as often as we would have liked]./ My mom worked 60+ hours a week to help care for her four children and did a damn good job.
I hate seeing all these sorry excuses for mothers.
I'm in total agreement with you. Having a child for any selfish reason just isn't right. I see it all the time. But yes there are single mothers who are excellent in what they do and devote all of their time and energy on the children.