This incident started nagging me this morning when I was making breakfast for everyone. I asked Dulaney if he wanted pancakes or biscuits and he said biscuits. Well, then Cory chimed in that he wanted gravy too. So, I set to work making biscuits, gravy, and eggs.
When Dulaney asked what I was doing, I replied, "making biscuits and gravy." He said, "I don't like gravy." Before I could say anything, Cory told Dulaney that he'd never even had gravy and he needed to try it before saying that he didn't like it. Now, this is the hard part for me. I'm a very picky eater and do not try things very easilly. Cory knows this and it drives him crazy.
I do not like biscuits and gravy, but I have tried them before, so it's not like I'm just being picky.
I'm beginning to wonder how fair it is to make my kids try things or eat things that they say they do not like when I'm so finicky about what I eat. I do not eat cooked vegetables at all....with the exception of broccoli, corn, and certain variations of potatoes. It is a texture thing and since cooked veggies get mushy, I do not like them.
Most of you know that my parents raise my daughter and she is the world's pickiest eater and it drives me crazy. She's even worse than I am. My parents do not make her try anything before they make her a separate meal. I do not want my other children to be like that, but at the same time, I don't want to be one of those people who is like, "Clean your plate or else." Is there a good middle ground?
How fair is it to make my kids eat these things when I don't? I do think they should try them, but what about making them eat them after they've tried them?
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Comments (30)
We always had a rule that you had to at least try it. If you try it and still don't like it you don't have to eat it.
Maybe take them to a farmers market or something food related that would be fun to get them excited about different foods. Approach each new food as something exciting (yes either you or your husband will need to eat it as well).
For veggies, once they've tried them, they may like them. But tell them they have to eat veggies at every meal to become big and strong (or pick favorite idol of theirs and tell them you are sure that person eats their veggies).
My husband has the logic of making them try it once, it will never sit right with me. I feel like all that does is waste time and makes for arguments that arent needed. If you make the child try it ONCE, Im sure you will have a hard time getting them to do so, only for them to try it and then put more emphasis on how much they dont like it. Children go through stages of their life where they experiment. I always put the food on my daughters plate, but I wont make her eat what she doesnt want. Plus, even at younger ages, childrens stomachs are still learning how to handle different foods, so there may be more of a reason than we know why they dont like certain foods. The other day, we sat down and there was spinach on my daughters plate.. never in my life did I think she would try it, but she did, and loved it! (although, i have to admit it was apparently due to watching popeye) still, children will grow and experiment. I am a picky eater as well, and I dont take kindly to people trying to shove food in my face that doesnt seem appealing to me. So to answer your question, to make your child try food against there will, would make us hypocrites.
Having the children help prepare the food makes them more prone to wanting to eat new things too. Try that approach.
My logic, or more just like the way I think, is that it doesn't really have to narrow down to food. I would say encourage your children to try things before they make a decision on whether or not they like it (like food, music, clothes). Of course, you have to be careful because I know you don't want to encourage them to do drugs to decide whether or not they like it, but that's a no brainer.
I make my daughter take one bite if it is something new. If she doesn't like it she doesn't have to eat it. To be fair I won't swear off anything new on site, I'll take at least one bite and try it. If she's had something before and I know she doesn't like it I'll make her something else.
I was a Girl Scout for quite a long time and we always had a rule. Take three bites of something if you've never had it before and then you can say whether you like it or not. And that was the rule in order to have dessert or a snack.
Parents ARE hypocrites. We're hypocrites all the time. Don't drink that soda (it's mine!), and don't do drugs (because we did them in college doesn't mean we want you to ever know that!), and I gave my babies all sorts of nutritious things I'd never put in my mouth (stewed lentils anyone?). Some of it comes down to personality (some of us are more pigheaded than others), some to texture sensitives (my older one is on the spectrum), and some to preferences.
I have found that cooking with your kids gets them excited and sometimes willing to try things they wouldn't other wise be game for (I tried cooking with broccoli a few times...no go...they both hate it).
But don't feel like a hypocrite because in the end we all are ;0)
Everyone here is a lot nicer than my parents ever were. My dad made it known that our kitchen wasn't a restaurant and if you didn't like what was served you went hungry. As a result I'm pretty much a garbage disposal, the only food I can think of that I absolutely will not eat is black licorice. Anything else is fair game. I think what my parents did was fine, they couldn't afford to make me a separate meal. While I would never starve my children, I will take an approach similar to what my parents used unless there are extenuating circumstances. I feel like "try it once" will turn them off to a food forever that they may end up liking in a few years. And making separate meals is definitely out of the question because that just ends up turning a small problem into a giant one. Eating something you don't necessarily like won't kill you. Besides there are things you can add to make things taste different anyway.
Yes, you're being a hypocrite, but what parent isn't? Maybe you should make it a point to try one new food a week. I think as an adult it's a little ridiculous to be a picky eater. We have the ability to cook, so there's millions of different things to try. Just because you don't like something one way doesn't mean you won't love it cooked another way.
We make them take at least one bite of everything on their plate every meal. If they want dessert they need more than just 1.
It's not hypocritical. Taste buds are still developing with kids. Give a baby some baby food carrots, and they'll spit it out. But after a few times, they'll love it. It's not hypocritical to keep feeding it to them.
Sometimes you can try a different way. My 4 year old would never try brocolli, and insisted he didn't like it. But once we put some out in a bowl still frozen, and he liked it. Ever since, he's eaten brocolli any time we have some, frozen or cooked.
Yea I think it's pretty hypocritical to make your kids eat things when you refuse to do the same.
There are some cases where being a hypocrite is necessary (like trying drugs when you were a kid and then lecturing your kid about it). But when it comes to something as silly as eating eating certain foods I don't think you have room to speak. At least try it in front of your kids. Even if you hate vegetables always try it at least a couple times in front of them to show that you have tried it.
First of all to everyone out there, it is NOT being a hypocrite to not want your kids to try drugs if you tried them yourself! It's called being a good parent! It is a big mistake to get into drugs and you can talk to your children and tell them you did it but it was not the right thing to do and here are the reason why....etc. It is not being a hypocrite to not want your children to make the same mistakes you made growing up.
The only other thing I want to say is the person who posted this said they don't like cooked vegetables because they are mushy. Well, if they are mushy, you cooked them too long. You don't have to cook them until they are mush.
I was always under the impression that you were supposed to let your kids try foods like 10 times before calling it quits? Or is that another one of those things that the baby books tell you to do, but that don't work out in real life? I know for myself, there were some foods that took me quite a few tries before I learned to like them.
I don't make separate meals for my kids. They eat what we're having or they can wait and eat at the next meal. I made this decision a long time ago. The only exception to this is if I'm making something for myself and there is not enough for all or if it is something super-expensive. This is the only time I'll make something different.
I'm the pickiest eater ever. no joke. i only eat stuff that i usually can rely on.
I will be making my children try everything atleast once, or maybe if I put it on their plate they have to take atleast one good bite. I was taught that way and i eat pretty much everything. The only things I wont eat are bologna and papaya. I wont raise picky children.
I used to eat fruit when I was younger, but got out of the habit, so now the texture gets in the way of me eating fruit (with the exception of oranges and clementines)...I can drink fruit juices, eat yogurt...but can't eat the actual fruit...
I don't like any other veggies besides corn, green beans, and potatoes (anyway you can cook potatoes is great)...but, when my mom would cook, she could put the broccoli in with a casserole and I would eat it just fine. I started getting smart and just not breathing through my nose when eating cooked broccoli all by itself...so then I got the nutrition, but not the taste.
I don't like salad, because of the texture of lettuce...it bothers me, and I wish I did like it, but I don't...
I want my future children to like all the healthy snacks and foods that they should eat, but I would hate being a hypocrite and not eating it myself...I will do what I have learned to do with working in childcare...if it's something they think they don't like, try a "no-thank-you" bite...and 9 times out of 10, they will enjoy it (which has happened in the child care center)
(I absolutely LOVE biscuits and gravy....)
I'd say go with the 'try it once' rule. If they try it and still don't like it, it's not fair to make them eat it. All that will do is make them resent dinner time when you're feeding them something you don't like (*insert memories of my mother feeding me salmon patties*). Have them try a tiny bite of something, and if they don't like it, then they don't have to eat it.
@MangoWOW@xanga - Obviously you didn't read my post. I didn't say that I REFUSE to do the same. I have tried the foods that we encourage our son to eat and more often than not I put them on my plate and then I either don't eat them or I'll try a bite with my son. I always tell him that he should at least try them. He is smart enough to know that not everyone likes the same things and he eats several things that I won't and things that my husband won't. We just want him to try things before he rules them out. I was raised where I didn't have to try things, so I get to try most things along with my son. I make it a huge deal about making veggies for dinner because I know how healthy they are.
@sugartomyhoney@xanga - Um, no. They are never as solid as they are when they are fresh. I eat fresh veggies and give my son the option of eating either fresh or cooked. And yes, if you cook carrots, they get soft and taste disgusting...to me.
@LilMama1204@xanga - Yea then maybe I didn't read your post correctly but if you do at least try it with/in front of your son a couple times then I don't see a problem.
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I re-read it and I don't see ANYWHERE in the post where you say you tried the food in front of your kids (that's the important part)... there's a difference between mommy trying to food with you and then mommy saying she tried the food when she was little and didn't like it. Am I reading it correctly? I don't know?
The only time you would be acting in a hypocritical manner would be if you didn't eat foods and then forced them to eat it. THAT'S wrong. But from what you've told me you've shown to them that it's important to try foods a couple times before deciding you dislike them. Nothing wrong with that. Good mommy. lol
I will be that parent that always makes thier kids try the food on thier plates. My husband is the worst picky eater. He thinks it's evil that I will make my kids try spinach, but I love spinach. Kids need to learn that trying new foods can be fun and very healthy and that vegetables are not the enemy!
It depends. If you picky after trying something and not liking it, then you're not a hypocrite. If you're picky and won't try new things, then sorry, but you're being a hypocrite. The definition of hypocrite is someone who tries to force other people to follow dictums they don't follow themselves. That doesn't mean that you're wrong. She should definitely try new things before deciding she doesn't like them. Hypocrites tend to have the best advice because they know what it's like to be on the other side and don't like it, but find it hard to change.
By the way, be prepared for her to try it and say she doesn't like it regardless of whether she actually does or not. My little brother used to do this all the time (not anymore). Kids make up their minds quickly and without much information, and they are very stubborn. That and her ego might be too big to give you the satisfaction of hearing her say she likes it.
I was a picky eater. I still am at 22, actually! I won't eat some foods if they don't look right/smell right/et al. Something that worked well in our household was to make at least one dish that they knew I would eat. You don't have to cater to every whim, but you don't have to make a separate meal either.
my dad has a good rule: we must try the food first, to see if we like it, and if we do we can finish it. If we don't, we don't have to. My mother does the same thing except if we don't like it she wont make us anything else, which I think is reasonable of her but a young child might not understand why they don't get anything else for dinner. I recommend my dad's method, as it teaches them to try new things but at the same time doesn't send them to bed hungry. Â
I think worrying about food is silly and pointless. My mom never cared...if I refused to try something, she just moved on. She never made me try it or withheld dessert. There are many more important things than food. Even today, I refuse to eat mushrooms and I have never once tried them. They look gross, they grow in the ground, and they seem like they would have a weird, slimy texture, that is enough for me. And even now, my dad makes sure mushrooms and other things I will not eat (like olives) are not in my food and if he and my stepmom want them, they add them to their food. Simple.
@Liquid_Pain_523@xanga - I'm picky now because I've tried things and don't like them. I used to be picky because my parents allowed me to be. I try new things now because it makes my husband frustrated when I don't. I wouldn't expect my kids to try new things if I don't. That is being hypocritical.