Monday, 29 June 2009
-
We’re Deceiving Our Way to Parents of the Year
When you become a parent, the momentous life change forces you to take on various roles that you likely have never taken on before. These new jobs include:
Diaper changer
Those with younger siblings or nursery/babysitting experience might have plenty of diapering experience, but it’s different when you’re a parent. As a kid or babysitter, someone would end up doing the deed if you didn’t. You may get in trouble, but it would eventually happen. As a parent, if you don’t change that stinker, you’ll have to deal with the consequences, whether they be a smelly house/baby, the stuff getting on furniture, or a visit from your local Child Services worker.
Moral guide
You are responsible for teaching your child the social and moral norms that you believe are necessary for a quality, socially-contributing life. The responsibility is daunting, yet awesome because the hopefully wonderful person that your child becomes is a direct result of years and years of your guidance.
Teacher
In addition to teaching your children beneficial behaviors, you need to teach them plain ol’ knowledge, like ABCs and 123s. Your children depend on you to teach them about colors, animals, and the finest children’s videos available on YouTube.
But the one role that I didn’t see coming is one that I’m not proud of:
Deceiver
As I consider the past several months of parenting, it’s been a marvel to see Cool Baby’s understanding of language grow. He gets a lot of what we tell him. We’ve used his fledgling mastery of the English language to our advantage – like asking him to get things that we feel too lazy or old to pick up – and more unfortunate ways, like deceiving him to avoid meltdowns.
Several examples of deception include:
- When CB wants more Goldfish, cheese, or anything else that we think he’s had enough of, we tell him that it’s “all gone.” Like we don’t have anymore, even though we have unopened Goldfish bags or blocks of cheese in the fridge. The only thing that’s truly “all gone” is our tolerance of him eating more of whatever he’s demanding.
- Cool Mum swears that CB falls asleep easier if he thinks that I’ve left the apartment. That way, he’s not asking for me when she’s putting him to bed. So, her idea is that I should pretend like I’m leaving the apartment right as she takes him to bed. It seems to work, until CB realizes that Daddy wouldn’t really go out in a ratty t-shirt and faded Old Navy boxers at 9:00 pm.
- Again, when CB wants something that we don’t want him to have, we’ll sometimes tell him that the thing “went night-night.” That thing could be a cell phone, a toy, or a TV character like Elmo. I hope that we’re not jeopardizing his academic career by convincing him that inanimate objects require sleep.
I feel bad about deceiving Cool Baby a little, but it just makes life so much easier. When you’re going on little sleep and a tantrum hits, sometimes you just don’t feel like elaborating upon the truth or setting up a confrontation.
We hope that this doesn’t mean that we’re bad parents. I think it just shows that we’re human ones. And with that, computer must go night-night…
-
recommend
- recs 2
-
share
-
email
- sent 0
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to momaroo's Momaroo Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in momaroo's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (7)
Sometimes, I do not envy the job of being a parent.
But, as a babysitter, I do see the ways that adults can shape the conscious of a child. I am currently living with a family with three kids, and the youngest just turned two. He has a bad habit of crying when he wants something, even when he's told no. But, being at the stage where he'll repeat anything that he's being told, I tell him repeatedly, "No crying. Crying not nice" or "Ask for it properly. Then have patience." I make sure I do some sort of movement when I tell him this. He'll even repeat it back to me, with the movement.
It's funny, because now I can give him a look or do a movement, and he'll immediately repeat the phrase associated with it.
The foundation of parenting, right here. It seems like it would be simple, but as we all know by the time they become mobile and somewhat independent - it's not. Great post.
@jamaicanmeanna@xanga - I had a friend who was a nanny. She tried to "teach" her charges stuff like that: manners and communication instead of having violent tantrums to get her to hand over the juice or pop in their favorite video. It worked. Then, mom and dad come home, tired, and give them whatever they want to hush them up. The next day, nanny friend would have to start her teachings all over again.
For this reason, I think being a childcare provider might just be as hard as actual parenting in some cases.
haha...those 3 examples are exactly what we would do at our house.
@LiberalArmyWife@xanga - It's so true. Especially when you have more than one child. I sympathize with parents who have to work all day and then have to come home to work all night with their kids. But, at the same time, my mother had a full time job, and she managed to teach us rules. I mean, it does help when all the adults around us expected a certain level of respect from us. If we didn't go to bed when we were told, or started fussing for things, they were there to remind us that we need to behave. Which is something that I think that people are lacking today. Parents aren't getting the kind of support from friends/family that they need. Good ol' days.
BTW, I'm realizing that I type way too much. Way, way too much.
Hahah I love this post! It's so true how parents do these things! I know one day I'll end up doing them to. =)
I learned some valuable lessons in child rearing - if you lie to them, they'll lie to you. Also, never reward with food - it makes them crave food more than is healthy. Oh, and if you always pour all your cereal/crackers/etc. into plastic tubs, they can't tell the difference b/t regular and generic brand for a few years longer, at the very least.