As a newly pregnant woman who is unable to get to my first doctor's appointment until next month, I find myself frequenting pregnancy message boards and forums in an attempt to understand what is going on with my body, and using google as a means of education. This is both a curse and a blessing.
Largely these boards and searches have been a comfort for me. It's nice to hear that women who are just as far along as I am are going through many of the same things and I have already received some great advice and ideas. However, other times I feel that the more educated I become, the more fearful I become.
I am a part of one board that consists of mothers who are all due in January, like me. As time progresses, women have begun dropping off this board in waves. They will write farewell messages: "Well, I went to the doctor today and we didn't hear the heartbeat. Ultrasound confirmed my fears. Looks like my journey ends here." My heart goes out to these women and my fears rise. Just last week they had been chatting happily about their symptoms. I gulp as I think: it could happen to me! I could be next!
Whether they soothe my fears or inflame them, I largely have all good things to say about most of these women. Except for one thing. One thing really really really bothers me about baby-related message boards. The abbreviations!
What is the deal with all the lame acronyms?! If you haven't ever visited a pregnancy message board, I'll give you a taste of how a typical post might look:
"Well today I had really bad ms so I went to the bathroom and while there noticed I also had weird CM and my bbs were hurting and I thought I might be pg. This was exciting to me because I have been TTC for awhile. I already have one DD and one DS but my DH and I really want another so I took a POAS and got a BFP! It makes sense since AF hasn't been around for awhile and we had BD right around the time of OV!"
Now I understand if you're a little lost because the first time I read a post like this I was like "whaaaaat?!" I quickly realized that on pregnancy message boards, people like to abbreviate EVERYTHING! I imagine they do it in order to feel like part of a group while at the same time eliminating, oh, I don't know, that extra second they would spend actually writing out the word. Or perhaps they are too embarrassed to type words like SEX or CERVICAL MUCUS or PERIOD. But this still doesn't explain the need to abbreviate words like HUSBAND or DAUGHTER. When I read a post like the one above, I am beyond annoyed! It's the equivalent of reading the blog of some pre-teen's early days on the internet: "OMG like she was ROFL and I'm LMAO bcuz we gtg but he was like wtf! FTW! Luv u bff!"
Excuse me while I puke a little.
My biggest beef with the pregnancy-related abbreviations isn't the fact that they exist, but rather the "lameness" factor of the abbreviations themselves.
Consider the following abbreviations and their meanings:
- CM-Cervical Mucus. Bothers the hell out of me because when I see it, I read "CUM."
- bbs-BOOBS. Are people really that afraid of typing out two extra letters? Come on! They're boobs! Not bbs! I'm not going to put them into a gun and play cops and robbers with them!
- pg-pregnant. Yep. Can't just say "pregnant" can we?
- TTC-Trying to conceive. TTFN!
- DD-Darling Daughter
- DS-Darling son
- DH-Darling husband
The above three abbreviations piss me off beyond belief. Who calls every member of their family "darling" in real life? What is this, the 50s? I wouldn't refer to my husband as "darling" every time I talk about him so why would I type DH instead of "husband" or even more simply: "Mike"?
- POAS-Pee on a stick. As long as we're sugar coating things with most of these abbreviations, isn't it nicer to just say "test"? Or "pregnancy test"?
- BFP-Big Fat Positive. There is also Big Fat Negative. Wouldn't a + or - symbol suffice?
- AF- Aunt Flo. I.e. your period. Do we really have to cutesy up the name of our periods? Periods are not cute! They are the violent and bloody expulsion of the interior lining of the uterus. The proper name is MENSTRUATION. Not "Aunt Flo." Jeez.
- BD-Sex. Failing to see the connection? Oh, that's because BD stands for "baby dance." Yes. Baby dance. Uh huh, I'm dying inside too.
- OV-Ovulation. Finally, an abbreviation that actually makes sense.
All of these overly silly, cutesy and unnecessary abbreviations are the equivalent in my mind to those maternity tents women wore back in the 80s and early 90s. Instead of having somewhat fashionable clothing options available to them, women were forced to pick between unflattering tents often covered with fantastical and whimsical creatures: Winnie the Pooh, teddy bears, balloons, sailboats. As though they weren't merely HAVING a baby, they were BECOMING the baby. I feel the same looking at pictures of these women as I do reading an abbreviation-laden post on a pregnancy message board. Just because you are having a baby does not mean you have to start talking like one! Baby dance? I mean, come on! Stop having "baby dance" with your "darling husband" and start having some good old fashioned SEX. Don't let your brain turn into mush and start leaking out your ears just because you have a parasite living in your uterus that you are now responsible for feeding, clothing, and loving for the rest of your life.
What do you think? Is it just me or are women off their rockers with all these ridiculous pregnancy abbreviations?
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Comments (129)
I frequent a different board that uses all of those and then some. :) I use the acronyms sometimes, and sometimes I don't. I don't particularly care one way or the other.
I have also seen HPT for Home Pregnancy Test, DTD for sex (do the deed), etc. Also, in some contexts, DH doesn't mean "Dear Husband;" I've seen it mean "Damn Husband,"
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With the exception of LOL, I don't use the dumb abbreviations. They are harder for me to type than to just write out actual words. And all the abbrevations and weird lingo is why I typically stayed away from pregnancy message boards when I was trying to get pregnant, ya know TTC, and when I was pregnant, or PG. Yeah, I worry about where it'll lead the next generations. Are they going to even know how to spell anything?? What about speaking in complete sentences?? That's just kind of scary.
I personally like all the abbreviations. But then again, I'm on a message board full of very intelligent ladies who know what they're talking about (even though they use abbreviations). Never once have those abbreviations sounded like middle school girls jabbering about nothing. Plus, the board has a glossary of commonly used abbreviations so that we all know what we're talking about.
The main reason I use the abbreviations is because dropping off just a few letters does make it faster to type, amazingly (especially in DH ans DD and POAS). And using some of the abbreviations like "bbs" and "BD" keeps away people who type "boobs" or "sex" into search engines and helps keep the automatically generated contextual ads clean. "CM" is just a nicer way to say "cervical mucous," just like saying "BM" for "bowel movement" is nicer.
And now that I have a baby, the abbreviations are much easier to type with only one hand. :)
Haha, great post! I have browsed the internet for every pregnancy and baby related thing under the moon. And the "DD" abbreviation always stumped me. I knew they were talking about their daughters, but I never would have guessed "darling". Gah! The internet is the birth of far too many useless abbreviations.
I think I just died inside a little.
Oh my ever loving! My eyes glaze over when I see regular internet speak, I think I'd loose a marble every time I went to one of those forums. You brave brave woman, ha!
I remember a couple years ago I was doing a report on pregnancy and I went into a pregnancy chat room to ask some questions and they had their own chat speak as well. The one that made me laugh the most was "snert" which stands for "something not even remotely truthful" which is what they called women who were faking pregnancy or faking babies. The fact special terms must be created for something that simply can be described as "a fake" is even more mind boggling than the fact that people would even fake pregnancy in the first place.
I found them pretty annoying when I was pregnant on the whattoexpect.com message boards. It drove me nuts because first off, I spent the first trimester trying to figure them all out. SEcond, when I read them, I read the letters. Not what they actually stand for. Haha, its just easier to right everything out instead of needing a glossary to figure it all out.
i think they're just ridiculous.
aha thats funny, but so annoying to read. why can't they just spell out the whole words, for the conveniency of everyone else?? just sad.
...baby dance! :P
I think cervical fluid is the more proper term... is it not???
Haha, I must say that I agree!
'lol' is the only abbreviation i ever use, including when txting.
Wonderful post! As a military spouse, used to acronyms and things like that on a daily basis, my brain shut down reading that little exert. You are a brave, very brave woman to read through that stuff. My friend just had her son earlier this month, next time I catch her online I will have to ask if she ran across this as well.
The baby dance.. yeah I felt parts dying at that. I realize most of it is to save time or deal with spelling issues. (from someone that can't spell worth a damn) One abbreviation, maybe two I could give you if it was medical terms. But really, come on. Now you (those posters) just sound like an immature idiot that I would hope would NOT be helping to populate the world.
Side note though - perhaps it's because it is the military around me but DH always was equated to damn husband not darling.
As someone who never wants to get pregnant, I can assure you that I will be doing no BABY DANCING. It will always be sex. Or in times of extreme girlishness, making love.
LOL. I know how you feel about the abbreviations! It's crazy!
I'm also with you on the fearfulness. It seems when ever someone has news, other people feel their need to related it to their own personal experiences.
wow BD is the best one out of all of those, that made me laugh (or LOL or ROFL as I should say maybe)
Baby dance? Oh, Mary in heaven. I'm glad you got posted on Momaroo!
Baby dance...
I wont even begin on how wrong of a name that is.
Baby dance, new one :D Tho so were all the other ones. Only abbreviation I actually recognized was bbs :D And OV but other's scared the shit outta me.
I tried joining and reading those boards when I was pregnant with my first (seven years ago) and that's exactly why I said, "To hell with this!!" and dropped them. That nonsense hurts my head, and I refuse to subject myself to it. We do not need a code to talk about reproduction!!
It isn't just pregnancy boards, it's almost every board over on CafeMom - which I love because I've found great friends and community. You should see some of the ludacris abbreviations they use in some of my cloth diapering groups. But, I find myself not commenting on things and sometimes can't even finish reading things because of these absurd abbreviations. I mean it's not like we are all preteens texting on our cellphones. I refuse to even use the most reasonable abbreviations EVEN when texting on my cellphone.
Makes me glad I had my babies before the boon of the internet.
AHAHA. BD?!
That one made me laugh the most.
I'm going to go around saying that from now on... :P