Friday, 26 June 2009
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Is There a "Right" Way to Throw a Baby Shower?
How would you (or did you) celebrate your baby shower?
In Hispanic culture, baby showers are a huge deal.
At the showers I’ve attended, liquor is usually served, there is a full meal and usually a DJ, and all types of people come (men, women, children, friends, family, neighbors, coworkers)
It almost seems like a mini night club. I’ve been to showers where the party can stretch late in the night, with the kids sleeping on chairs they pushed together and the adults drinking and dancing the night away.
In other cultures, I hear that baby showers are a more intimate affair.
My cousin had a baby shower that was only women, only lasted about an hour or so, and had cutesy-type baby themed games. There was snack type food that was served, no alcohol, and no men. Most of the guests were family.
I also know that in other cultures, baby showers aren’t even something that people do. Its almost seen as disrespectful to some people to throw a party asking for gifts.
What do you think is the correct way to throw a baby shower? What did you do when you (or a friend/family member) had a baby shower?
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- From: DameUnBeso06@xanga
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Comments (17)
I don't know if there's a right TYPE of baby shower, but I know that some etiquette should be applied across the board. Like... being sensitive to the feelings of women like me, who struggle with infertility. And not asking for frivolous gifts in the registry. And not sharing horrific birth stories with the first-time mother-to-be.
like @SeeBeeWrite@xanga - said I don't know that there is a right way to do them. My previous high school teacher threw me mine, and it ended up being only women, and lasted for a couple of hours, no booze were served (probably because she's a recovering alcoholic and some of the people attending were undearage) We did the silly baby themed games, but yeah a bbaby shower is to shower the baby with gifts and that's i think what they're mostly for. I think if the person that is getting the baby shower doesn't care if there is alcohol there, or men, or kids, or whatever then it's fine. Mine was an absolute blast, and was super thankful I had it!
你仲記唔記得我呀KAZAF?
Mine was very much the, "lasted about an hour or so, and had cutesy-type baby themed games. There was snack type food that was served, no alcohol, and no men." and that's what I've had experiences with previously. The "oddity" of mine was that the girls threw it at my home. Usually, they're at the person's home who is organizing it...thus not making the pregnant woman rush to make sure her house is sparkling for the throng of guests. LOL. But I managed...
I'm with the other posters. It really depends. As long as general courtesies are extended, it shouldn't be a problem. I had a surprise shower and I really appreciated it. I didn't expect people I barely knew (we had just moved to the Army base) to buy things for me like that and it was touching. Speaking of touching, nobody rubbed my belly, which I loved. My husband was in on it and I'm thinking he warned them.
I weaseled out of the shower my mom wanted to throw for me, because I didn't want to be fondled in exchange for gifts. She insisted that if people were buying me things, I was obligated to let them rub all over me, ogle me, and share stories and advice. I passed on that experience and have no regrets.
i have been to the uptight baby showers with the baby games and the men hiding in corners and children running around like fools... i don't like it.
i have been to a Hispanic shower with children running around and dinner being cooked and it lasted til relatively late at night
i have been to my god sister's shower which lasted til early in the morning with a bunch of ghetto people and my niece's drunk mom.
well for mine:
no games
alcohol for the adults
children must know where the bedrooms are so they can sleep in there.
music provided by the awesome and spectacular playlist on the ipod (lol)
party starts early and is relatively calm for my uptight relatives and friends
party ends early next morning for the friends who know how to do it right
gifts are optional, I want only to celebrate my little miracle
no gender colors. period.
food will be provided by myself and my close family, cause they'll want to feel like they contributed some how.
this is a great post. thank you for it.
@SeeBeeWrite@xanga - a baby shower praises a new life being brought into the world. Not making a big deal out of it because one has infertility issues seems a little much to ask- would you not want a wedding to be made a big deal because someone on the guest list is divorced or never married?
@MelodicPuppy@xanga - I've already asked not to be invited to baby showers. It's a very painful reminder that I've lost four children.
Most showers I've been to are the 1 hour in the early afternoon with only women kind. But one that lasts all night sounds way more fun! I have mostly guy friends anyway, so it seems sort of stupid that they can't come. I mean, the husband participated in MAKING the baby, so he should get to be there to celebrate! It should be a celebration of life for all friends and family. That would be awesome! But how most showers are done around here, guys tend to stay clear. Sitting around cooing about babies and gushing over cute clothing doesn't seem like something they'd be into. (heck, I'm not even really into this. I'd just go with it for the free presents!
The other thing that doesn't really work with the whole "party all night" thing is that it seems a little disrespectful to the pregnant woman herself. I mean, when you're far along in pregnancy, you're tired and sore and can't spend too much time standing, sitting, etc. So large groups of people for a extended period of time tend to wear ya out. That and you can't drink, for the baby's sake. So it would suck to have a party with alcohol that you can't even enjoy. Most baby showers I've been to they have a strict no alcohol policy for this reason. So with that said, I"d prefer to have the one hour deal for a baby shower, i.e. give me presents and then go hone, and then the huge party for the baby's first birthday, when I can actually drink and enjoy myself again!
I don't have a problem with baby showers for first time moms... it's the second or third child baby showers when you get the registry full of expensive items. I had a coworker who had an individual baby shower for each of her kids where she requested new, expensive baby bags that she never used, and each baby had to have a complete new crib&changing set. Awful.
@LiberalArmyWife@xanga - "She insisted that if people were buying me things, I was obligated to let them rub all over me, ogle me, and share stories and advice." I don't even know your mother and I think she's gross.
Please, for the love of God...no cheesy games....
@a12906@xanga - LOL! My thoughts exactly.
@Agent@lovelyish - Disgusting. I was scared to even make a registry for my first and only baby. I felt bad about even asking people to spend money on me.
I really enjoyed my baby shower. My parents threw it for me. It was a week after my son was born [he was seven weeks premature and apparently couldn't wait that extra week. haha]. I had friends and family there. Both male, female, and kids. Mostly because I don't have many female friends. We played games and ate a small lunch m parents made. IT was pretty awesome. I didn't make a registry or anything though. I just didn't feel right about picking my own gifts.
Well, I think having alcohol at a baby event is a bad idea, no matter what.
@LiberalArmyWife@xanga - I'd literally stab anyone that tried to touch me without permission. And if they're pregnant too, it obviously doesn't matter, seeing how they didn't think of that before trying to touch me. Bitches. I'd go to prison for double homicide soon as I have my kid, but people need to learn one way or another that you don't touch me without permission. I would only hope that my kid would know the truth about why I went to prison.