When I became pregnant with my son, I made the decision fairly early on to have the services of a doula. For those of you who don't know, a doula is someone who provides physical and emotional support during the process of childbirth. Unlike a midwife, the doula does not deliver the baby.
At the time of my pregnancy, I was living 2000 miles away from my mother and she was iffy as to whether or not she'd be able to attend the birth of her first (and to date, only) grandson. I was immensely saddened that my mother couldn't be with me. At the thought of being without her in the hospital, I got scared and worried. My husband didn't help matters when he said he'd faint at the sight of blood. It took a ton of convincing for him to even be at my side when delivering his son (He wanted to wait outside in the hallway
).
Through my school's resources, I was able to find a doula that I liked.
Gwen was a sweet woman, who had been helping young mothers like myself, through childbirth for 20 years. She had a great sense of humor and I loved her bright personality. She lived a neighborhood away from me, and we had home visits once a week in my 2nd and 3rd trimesters. At each home visit, she would answer any questions I had, bring me reading material, and make me feel at ease. She also gave me her cell phone number and told her to call her at any time, night or day, if I needed something. She was great! I learned the signs of premature labor, and how to count contractions. We also sat down together and created a birthing plan that I was comfortable with.
Finally, the delivery day arrived. I woke up at 3 in the morning, with strengthening and increasingly regular contractions. While my husband and I drove to the hospital, I called my doula. She met us at the hospital. She was my Godsend. She held my hand and massaged my legs during particularly painful contractions. When I would hold my breath and yell, she reminded me to breathe for the baby. She got me ice chips. I had wanted a natural experience, but when I stayed stuck at 9 cm dilation, the pain was becoming harder for me to bear. I was definitely losing my composure.
I caved, and asked for an epidural. Gwen asked me if that was what I really wanted and asked the nurses to check me again to see how dilated I was. When I was about to receive the epidural, I was really frightened, but Gwen stood in front of me and helped me stay calm. And then my son made his appearance after 7 hours of labor. I was happy and Gwen said I did a wonderful job. Even after the birth, she stayed with me at the hospital. She took pictures of our proud, little family. She even helped me get started with breastfeeding my new son.
In the weeks that followed, she continued to call me and answer any questions I had. When I showed signs of postpartum depression, she referred me to a doctor and found a support group for me. She was a great resource and I will always appreciate her for all the help she has given me. I would definitely recommend the services of a doula. She made my birth easier to deal with and provided a great comfort.
Who was with you when you delivered your child? Have you ever used a doula before?
Comments (16)
My Hubby and mother were both there with me. My Hubby's best friend was in the waiting room (since he didn't want to see me all exposed...he he) but his girlfriend was there with the video camera so I would record of the whole thing. My mother was an awesome support as well as my Hubby. I joked that he should deliver the baby since he has done it before (5 years as an EMT) but he said no way! I have considered become a Doula since I am already studying to become a lactation consultant but right now it's one step at a time.
My only comment is that I hope my husband waits in the hall.
I used a doula and I wouldn't have another child without one! She was so amazing and helpful throughout the whole experience. My fiance and I really wanted a natural birth and that's just what we got. My daughter's birth was perfect, from start to finish. I had no complications and never even considered asking for medication. I know I couldn't have done it without her there. Plus, she also did birth photography so we have the whole thing in pictures, which is so special to us. If anyone is even slightly considering getting a doula, I would say do it!
My last birth was a homebirth (I've had 4 hospital births prior) with a wonderful midwife, and although her and my husband were AMAZING at helping me through the birth... if I were to have another baby and again planned a homebirth, I definitely want a doula!!!
For my first birth I had my midwife, my husband (he delivered our daughter), and my best friend. For my second birth I had two midwives and my husband. For this upcoming birth I have a friend who is training to be a doula and she is also a massage therapist who will be there, because I always labour in my back and need strong massages to cope. My husband will be there of course, and my midwives.
With my first I had everyone and their mom- literally- in the room with me (my hubby, my mom, his mom, his gradmother, both his sisters, my best friend and his best friend- who remained hiding in the corner). We weren't planning on so many people but our daughter decided to make a quick entry :) With the second, it was just my husband and my sister-in-law. She was amazing, and although she doesn't have any training in the area it was like having a doula. Even though we won't be having another for a while I've already recruited her for next time! Especially because my husband is in the Navy so there's a chance he won't even be there.
Thanks for this post. I am currently training to be a doula and it's always nice to hear stories of how helpful a doula can be to women in labor.
For my son's birth I had a home birth so the midwife, her assistant, my doula (who is also my sister), and my husband were there. Having the doula there made such a difference, even though she was my sister, during that time she was my doula. I had a relatively short labor (6 hours) and so everything went really fast and furious. She helped me stay focused on managing the pain and when I thought I couldn't do it anyrmore she kept telling me I could. My husband was wonderful during this time also, but he didn't know all the techniques that she knew.
I am very excited to be training to be a doula and I can't wait to be able to help women through such an amazing time in their lives.
After hearing what a doula does, I would say that my mom was my doula. She basically did the same things for me. Minus writing the birth plan. But I remember with my 2nd child, she was out of town, when I started having contractions 4 weeks early, and thought the baby was coming. I was so upset thinking I was going to deliver without her there. Luckily, my son decided to wait until Grammy could get there and waited 2 more weeks to come out. My mom was with me when all 3 of my children were born, and of course so was my husband, and he did a good job, but there's just somethings, that only a person who has given birth before can really help with.
I only wanted my husband in the room with me when I delivered my so n- anyone else had to have a medical license. A doula taught our childbirth class and gave us lots of great tips- I felt like I di dn't really need one at my delivery since we gained SO much from her during our classes. My husband was great. And I was already planning on getting an epidural when the pain got to be too unbearable, so I didn't want to fork out the cash for someone just to coach me until I got pain relief- my husband was amazing =)
I had my husband and my mom. I had planned to have a friend coach me, but my mom ended up being the most amazing coach I could have ever asked for. I had 2 friends offer to doula, but I wasn't comfortable enough with either of them.
That sounds like a great experience... but I have to ask, where were your friends? She sounds like she took the spot of where your best girlfriend should have been!
@hanaleiway@xanga - I had a doula, plus my fiance, his mom, my dad and
my doula's back-up(she had another client in labor at the same time).
It's not that I wouldn't want one of my best friends to be there with
me, it's that you really don't know how a person will react when
they're in that situation. A doula is trained to coach a woman through
labor and knows that things don't always go as planned. While I love my
friends, I would have been too worried about them freaking out instead
of focusing on my labor.
my very best friend of 15 years is a Doula. She was at all three of my births (invaluable!) and I was at hers. I have learned so much from her! And just last month, a mutual friend of ours had a baby and we were both present... my friend's 30th birth to attend, my first (outside of my own and hers). I sat with her after 33 hours with tears in my eyes from the emotion of it all and said, "How do you do this all the time?!" I think with every single contraction that our friend had, I was contracting too... and all wrapped up in the event emotionally. She is an amazing woman, I think doulas are amazing.
We are waiting for our first childbirth and I found this blog. It's very helpful information. Please keep posting. Thank you very much!!!
@hanaleiway@xanga - Haha, sorry for the extremely late reply! My friends were in another state 2000 miles away. They couldn't take time off from college, I guess.