Monday, 22 June 2009
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My Son Has Sleepovers With a Girl
by Mama Bee My son is having his best friend spend the night tonight. They have been best friends for over 3 years and I must say, I enjoy having my sons' friends stay the night because each and every one of them are well behaved and just great kids.
I hear them giggling in my sons' room as they play his new game. They play tag, they fly kites, they race cars....you know, normal kid stuff.
His best friend, is a girl.
She's his age and they get along very well. When they have sleepovers, they don't sleep in the same bed. When she spends the night, she sleeps on the top bunk or the couch and he sleeps in his bed, same when he is at her house.
When they play together, they don't see the gender. My son will play in her kitchen and she will play with his transformers. He will play tennis on the Wii with her and she will play Dragon BallZ on the playstation with him.
They get along better than any kids I've ever seen. They have a respect for one another that most kids don't have until an older age. They are funny and can laugh for hours. If he gives her crap, she gives it right back. They have grown up with one another and even though they no longer go to the same school since my husband and I bought our house, they still keep in close contact and talk on the phone at least a few times a week. Her mother is one of my best friends so we see them often.
My husband, her parents and I all talked about weather we would be okay with the sleepover situation when the kids came and asked. We said yes, that is fine by us. We love and adore his friend, I trust her parents and most of all I trust my son. I don't think there is anything wrong with this right now. Sure maybe in a couple of years these boy/girl sleepovers won't be happening but right now, its ok.
What are your thoughts on having a sleepover with the opposite sex? What age do you think they should be stopped at? Did you ever have an opposite sex spend the night with you when you were younger?
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About the Author
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- From: mamabee
- About Me: Hi, I'm Mama Bee. I'm from Colorado and I've lived here my entire life. I'm happily married to the most amazing guy and have been for going on 3 years. I am a stay at home mom with 2 step sons that live with my husband and I full time. C is 6 and J is 5. My husband, Daddy Bee, and I have a daughter together. K is 15 months and is a miracle baby. I would like to have another baby but due to some health issues I've been told I may not be able to. I believe that is why God gave me my daughter and our boys. My family has and will always come first. Marriage and motherhood are hard, but the most rewarding things I've ever been able to experience in my life. We have our ups and downs, we're not perfect but we try, we live, and we learn. We laugh when things get hard and we are thankful when things are easy. With 3 kids our life never seems boring. I look forward to sharing my family with you!
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Comments (82)
I used to have a really good friend like that when i was in 4th grade but i ended up not being his friend later on when he started stealing from me. >.>
I wonder how the conversation will go when they become "too old" for the sleep overs.
My son's best friend was a girl. They too grew up together before kindergarten. She spent the night at our house as he did theirs regularly. They continued to spend the night with each other thru their high school years. We never had any reason not to trust them as they grew older. They saw each other more as "brother and sister" instead of the boyfriend/girlfriend thing. We never once had a problem with them and both sets of parents loved the others child. There is nothing wrong with boy/girl sleepovers as long as they are supervised. Even in high school, my son's g/f stayed at our house and he at hers and I am proud to say my son stayed a virgin until he was married. It's all in the upbringing.
Like everyone else, I'm saying that this is not a big deal at all. It's totally fine. Now when they're headed towards the teen years...you might need to stop the sleepovers. And I'm talking...at peak double digits, because I know 10 year olds who talk about "eating her out" and "sucking him up". It's totally corrupted. Kids are growing up way too fast. =[
@IamKelleyK@xanga - I completely agree...it's an issue waiting to happen.
If they want to become sexually active, there's really no way you can prevent that. But they are best friends, so I wouldn't worry.
i think it's fine; and if they do become romantically involved later, i think it'll still be fine, because if they're doing stuff at least it'll be in the house.
@JJPrint3rd@xanga - Wow, that story is beautiful! It gave me goosebumps. I bet they're very happy :)
@birchlover@xanga - Absolutely! If you instill the right morals in your child, they'll turn out fine. If you raise them to think everything is about sex through paranoias and whatnot, they're going to grow up thinking everything is related to sex.
I think this is sooo cute!
My best friend when I was little was a girl, and we had sleepovers all the time. Admittely, we grew apart sometime late grade school, so around puberty.
Concerning those concerned about puberty, I'd say that a guy is more likely to respect a girl post puberty that he has known as a friend for years rather than some girl he just met. Honestly, I'd probably trust it to continue even after he hit puberty. Mind you, I think a parent should be there after that.
all my friends were boys so they'd spend the night and we'd all be piled up together. didn't freak us out
it's good to develop a really good friendship with an opposite sex in childhood.
When I was younger, and now, my parents were absolutely paranoid about male-female interactions. No being alone, at all, ever. After I turned 16, I was allowed to be in a different room than my parents with a guy, but we had to stay downstairs. We had to stay in the living areas of our house. I don't know that any guy- no friends, no boyfriends, no boy except my brother- has ever seen my bedroom.
I feel like the fact that they treated opposite-sex interactions as a big-time taboo is part of the reason I was so curious about it. They gave me a reason not to share my feelings and my life from them. They gave me a reason to sneak around. They didn't ever talk to me about sex, or even some of the basics of puberty, or about guys in general. I didn't even have a reason that I wasn't allowed to do things like sleep over, or show my best friend (always a guy) that cool new Harry Potter poster in my room.
I think the fact that you're open to sleepovers, even at such a young and innocent age, is a really great thing. They don't realize the trust you have in them right now, but as they get older, they will see how much you trust them, and how open you are to their friendship, and they will appreciate it.
If you keep the lines of communication open, and are open with them about your concerns, and about respect, sex, and trust, I see no reason why you have to make it stop. Like @birchlover@xanga said. If you raise them right, as I feel that you are, there isn't a problem.
i think it's inappropriete to have opposite sex sleepovers between middle school and high school. even though i'm 16 myself and think it's like every girls fantasy to spoon quietly in the moonlight LOL i still don't think i'd let my kids do that. boy OR girl. puberty = D:
I used to have sleepovers with a guy when I was little. They'l be fine.
this is the cutest most innocent story i've ever heard. everyone should learn from their example.
Jeesh, you people commenting make it sound as though everything above age 13 is a sex-crazed lunatic just waiting for an opportunity to fornicate premaritally. I mean GUH, make you're kid read a dang bible once in a while, jeeze louise!
a few years before he hits puberty and it's all good.
think "my girl"
or
"boy meets world"
but if he's about to enter middle school or in the latter years of elementary school...
red flag.
@laurasaidwhat@xanga - You know, I never see why would a guy steal from a female friend.
I think it's fine, you know the people you trust most are people you been with all your life. If they end up being romantically involved in the future, then there is a high chance they will be happily dating. My parents told me "Sometimes the best girl for is the one your closes friends with" this is not the case everytime, just sometimes.
i believe its fine because my cousin was guy. and my childhood was basically spent with him. For sleepovers we slept in the same bed buh on different ends and upside down..theres nothing wrong but now that we are older its kindaa out grown.
@SquallLeonhart84@xanga - It still dosent make sense but im not going to keep hanging out with some jerk that just keeps stealing my stuff.
@laurasaidwhat@xanga - Yeah I wouldn't either. I bet he wanted to change sex and become a transexual, so he would steal some dresses and stuff haha.
That's adorable, actually. At adolescence/age 13 it becomes a worry. But they would make an adorable couple when they got older. Aww.
And I think it's cute, her playing DBZ with him (which was and still is awesome) and him playing tennis with her. I like the equality being displayed here. ^_^
when they both hit puberty.