Monday, 15 June 2009

• Watch Out For Toddler Karma!

  
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  Jacey was playing in the kitchen under her highchair (Yeah, I don't know. She does stuff like that.) And I heard her making weird noises. So I look over and I can tell right away she's trying to go...well, #2. Her little face is turning red and she's letting out little groans.

  I considered giving her some prunes to help with that issue. But I also knew I had to give her a chance to try to push it out. All the while, I'm trying so hard not to laugh.

  But the more I look at her, the funnier it gets. Her groans get louder and louder. Her face gets redder and redder. She lets out a couple of little groaning yells. And I end up thinking to myself "I should get this on video."

  And then it happens. As the thought of getting it on video passes through my head and I realize what exactly it was I wanted to get on video, I let out a little giggle. And once that giggle comes out, it turns into full blown laughter.

  Then Jacey looks at me with her beat red face, and I see a smile forming on her lips. And then she starts laughing too. Which makes me laugh more because I know she doesn't know why I'm laughing. And if she did know, she probably wouldn't be laughing with me.

  I see her struggle end, so I decide I should check her diaper. If #2 is sitting in there, no worries! If it's not, it's time to give her the prunes.

  I convince her to walk over to me by flashing something shiny in her view, and then she comes wobbling over. I check her diaper and sure enough, #2 is sitting in there.

  All I can think to myself is "No wonder she had a hard time pushing that out!" I almost feel bad for laughing, thinking even her daddy would have had a hard time with that one. Almost doesn't count though, does it?

  I take her on over to the changing table. As I'm changing her diaper, I leave her dirty one under her folded up that way she doesn't get #2 all over her changing table. But wouldn't you know it? She reaches down and grabs her diaper and ends up getting it all over her changing table and on her legs. Leaving me a nice mess to clean up.

  I thought to myself, "Oh well, that's what I get for laughing at her." And begin cleaning everything up. I can take a little of what goes around comes around if I know I deserve it. I figured that would be that, karma got me back and I could move on with my day.

  I was wrong.

  Jacey got sleepy, so I put her down for her nap. A couple of hours later, I hear her playing from her bedroom. I walk towards her room and smell the most awful smell.

  I knew I had thrown a dirty diaper in the bathroom trash can when I had given her a bath earlier that day. All I could do was think "Please, God,  please let that be coming from the bathroom." The bathroom is right across from her bedroom, so even as the smell grew stronger I kept hoping that's where it was coming from.

  I stand directly in front of her door, still hoping the smell was coming from elsewhere.

  I open her bedroom door a crack, and the smell hits me hard. It's so bad my head flies back a little, like I'm literally being knocked out.  I contemplated shutting the door and walking away. But that wouldn't make me a very good mommy, would it? So, I open the door the rest of the way. I look down at the ground, afraid of what I would see if I were to look directly towards my child's crib. But, I know too, that part of being able to do the good mommy thing (ya know, NOT ignoring the issue and cleaning it up, too), would need vision. How else would I assess the damage?
  
  I look up and there's Jacey - mushing #2 in her hands, hair, crib, mattress and she even threw her diaper on the floor making sure some got there as well. I spent 30 minutes scrubbing (and disinfecting) her mattress with a sponge, scrubbing her crib, vacuuming up #2 from the floor and getting it up from the bottom of the crib. Where the mattress would have been laying on top of it. How it got under there, I'll never know.  Not to mention the time it took to scrub Jacey down and get it all out of her hair and off her face.

  It seems toddler karma is the worst I've ever dealth with. Let this be a lesson to all of you - don't laugh at your toddler when they're having a hard time going poopy. You will pay for it. Big time. And it won't smell good either.
  

  
  
  

  
  
  

  
  

  Don't be fooled. She smears poop on things. And also, she doesn't drink out of a bottle anymore. So..don't be fooled by that either.
  
  Have you experienced Toddler (poopy) Karma?
  

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