Friday, 12 June 2009
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Kids and Their Fashion Sense
by Mama Monkey I am not now, nor have I ever been, a trendy dresser. I am pretty much a jeans and t-shirt/tank type of gal. I do own a couple of dresses and skirts now, but was a major tomboy all through school. So I guess I am not doing a great job of passing on any sort of fashion sense to my kids, but I am totally OK with that. I am happy that they don't need the name brand clothes and shoes and generally don't care what they wear. But kids can be pretty funny when they just start to dress themselves.
Right now, my youngest is 2 1/2 and just started dressing himself on an occasional basis. Today was one of those days.
He put on his SpiderMan t-shirt, Batman boxers (as shorts with undies underneath) sandals, sunglasses and winter hat. Talk about a well dresses little dude! Totally adorable if I may say so in my (unbiased) opinion.
So, did he leave the house this way? you may ask. Call me an awful mother if you must ... but, yes, he did. We went to my sister's house (which doesn't necessarily count), but then also went out to eat with the in-laws at a very relaxed pizza place (he didn't have the hat on for that though).
Thing is, I am kind of torn on this whole thing sometimes. Obviously, 2 year olds are going to come up with some crazy combinations when you let them dress themselves and some of them are going to be rather inappropriate. But even with my 5 and 9 year olds, there are times I look at them and think 'What in the world were you thinking when you put together THAT outfit?'. But how much control should we really have over what our kids wear.
At least for now, I am the one buying most of their clothes so that makes it easy to weed out inappropriate attire that I flat out won't let them wear. I give them certain instructions as to what type of clothes they need to wear (i.e. shorts and a tank top in December in Wisconsin just doesn't work). And there are times, like church, that they know they need to wear some of their nicer clothes (though our church is not a suit and tie type of one or anything - just the jeans without holes or khakis and a nice shirt will do).
But beyond that, how far should we go? Do I make them change - or even suggest they do - if their clothes just don't match? Do I stop my 5 year old from trying to come up with and outfit that looks like (pick superhero/nintendo character for the day) while he is getting dressed so he doesn't end up looking a bit crazy (and wearing a cape to the grocery store)? Or do I just praise them for actually being fully dressed without me having to fight them about it (since my boys would much prefer to spend the day in their underwear ... and a cape)? And how much do the rules differ if you are going out in public compared to when you are staying home? Do you make them change because you are a bit embarrassed by the fact that your 9 year old still doesn't understand that blue and yellow striped pants really don't match the green and red striped shirt just because they both have stripes? Or do you let them go as is and suck it up?
Lots of questions and I don't really have any answers. There are times that I really want to tell them they should change and I do, but then end up feeling kind of guilty for it. Then, there are times that I take a kid out to eat in a t-shirt and boxers. How much control do you exercise over what your kids wear?
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About the Author
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- From: mamamonkey
- About Me: Hi! I am Mama Monkey - a SAHM of 3 wonderful, energetic boys ages 8, 5, and 22 months. They definitely keep me busy, but I love (almost) every minute of it. I have been married to Papa Monkey (25 year old computer programmer) for 8 years and we have known each other for 10. We started our family life a bit early, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I am a bit of a cleaning and organizing freak and am always looking for new ideas on how to keep things around here organized and unchaotic - as you can imagine, that is not the easiest with 3 rowdy boys. I love to write as it has always been one of the best ways for me to get the myriad of thoughts racing through my head out. I hope you enjoy my little writings, are able to identify and even, at times, maybe get a bit of wisdom from them. I am so excited to have my writings shared with you all.
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Comments (11)
haha. I can't wait until my baby brother is old enough to pick out favorite clothes and all that jazz. Personally, I hope he's that kid who loves to wear a superhero costume to school.
I say let them choose,but maybe not let them wear boxers as shorts if it bothers you? My Mom chose alllllll of my outfits for me until I got out of elementary school, haha. When she left on trips, she layed out outfits for every day of the week. Aughhh too much control haha
personally, as a kid who went through that phase a few years ago:
if your kids get to be middle school aged (which around here is like 11, 12, 13 ish) and they're still walking out the house like that, that's when it's a problem. people at that age are so mean, just for the sake of being mean, and will begin to make fun of the kid. then you start getting the self-esteem and bullying issues you've got to deal with. if you love your child, don't let them walk out the house looking a complete mess like that.
at 2, 5, and 9, though, it's just common nature. at 9 they should be starting to get out of that phase or you'll begin that middle school bullying thing i just talked about, but at 5 and 2 people expect kids to dress like that.
I think it's cute. I, myself, would of put some shorts on him to be going out in public, but that's just me. He looks adorable, no matter what. What a cutie!
At 2 and 5 obviously they don't care what they're wearing - and neither do their friends. If you're going somewhere special, yeah, make them change, but just to the store or a family restaurant, not a big deal. But at 9, at least as a girl, kids are starting to notice what other kids are wearing and as someone above mentioned - teasing can turn into meanness really quick. I would just discuss with him/her WHY the outfit doesn't really match and ask if they want help picking out a different outfit.
Of course, this is all coming from a mother who is obsessed with her children matching...... :)
I always feel like if I tell him to go change after he dresses himself, I take away a little self esteem that 'he can do it' himself. When my son started dressing himself we went out in all kinds of wierd crap... haha!!! It was fun to see the reactions people give you. They are usually all positive because the child is young and they look 'cute'.
Your son is so cute!
I dunno how much will i control over my kids cuz that'll be like 10 years from now...
when i was little, my parents just prepare the clothes that they wanted me to wear even though i didnt like some of the clothes cuz some were a lil uncomfortable. i cant rebel as a little kid... even when they want my hair cut every year. my dad always cut my hair whatwever he wanted n of course i looked real ugly and i cried every time he cuts my hair. until i enter high school i was able to rebel and so he never cuts my hair ever again. Happy Ending =)
My mom teases me for letting my little guy pick out his own clothes in the store. I do the same thing, if we aren't going anywhere in particular, he picks his outfits. I just make sure he is wearing matching socks. He has the tendency to want to wear socks that don't match.
When my son was younger I picked out what he wore. Now that he is 11 he wears what he wants. Recently I told him to change. He was wearing winter clothes on a hot day because he didn't want to do his laundry. Normally I don't have any real issue with what he wears. He can usually come downstairs in something that matches and is weather appropriate.
I don't think 2 year olds wearing boxers is much of a problem, maybe not when they're older though. And your youngest kid's fashion taste is perfectly fine:D
I think it's great to let them choose. We've all seen those children out at the stores or various places in rain boots and a hat on a perfectly sunny day, and we don't think "oh my how could that mother let her child out of the house looking like that!" instead we smile and remember what our little ones wore - mine wore superman pajamas and snow boots and sunglasses :)