Wednesday, 10 June 2009
-
Solo Trips to Friends' Houses
by Mama FoxThis morning my husband and I were talking about our oldest son, 5 years old, and if he's old enough to be going to friends' houses by himself.
We are moving in a couple of weeks and our new neighborhood seems to have at least a few families with kids around his age. It got me thinking about when I was 5/6 years old, I was pretty much free to wander all along our street, where I had 4 friends my age, and just had to tell someone (we lived with my grandparents and there was usually an aunt or cousins around) if I was going to be in anyone's house.
Thinking back now I'm not sure what my mom was thinking. We lived on a safe, fairly non traveled street and I had my head on straight but now that I have one of my own it's pretty scary. I'm unsure if he's ready to have that level of responsibility, to be at a friend's house without me around. I definitely wouldn't let him travel the street on his own just yet. He's too much in his own world for safety.
Although I'm hesitant, I think it would be good for him to play with his own friends without his little brothers tagging along, who cannot go anywhere without me. My husband thinks he needs a little longer before we send him off. Right now it's all hypothetical anyway until we get settled in and start meeting the neighbors. I want to get to know the parents and the kids and make our decisions about it then. I know I wouldn't send him off with adults I don't know very well.
I also wouldn't mind having non parent unaccompanied kids at my house, provided that they mind their manners and aren't destructive. I need to really think about how I would expect a 5 year old child to behave in my home and make sure that I teach my son to be that way in other people's homes, even when I'm not around. He can be a little over zealous about things but since he has brothers he's fairly good at getting along with others.
I'm just really excited about this move and about making new friends. We haven't made many friends since we moved to Texas last year and aren't going to waste the opportunity to really get to know the families living around us.
What age did you let your kids go to friends' houses without a parent? What helped you decide that they were ready for it?
-
recommend
- recs 1
-
share
-
email
- sent 1
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to momaroo's Momaroo Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in momaroo's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: mamafox
- Name: mamafox
- About Me: Hi y'all, I'm Mama Fox! I'm a young, optimistic homeschooling mama of three boys. This is all about our adventures and at times misadventures of raising little men in today's world and pretty much whatever else is on my mind. :)
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 70 Views: 0 73335 Comments: 0 1111 View all posts by mamafox
Comments (6)
My Grandmother (who I grew up with so was my mom in other words) Always had a rule, even until the day I graduated high school and moved. You are allowed to go to a friends house after I have met their parents twice, and your friend has been over without his/her parents once. She told me later on this gave her a chance to see how the parents react with their kids, what their standings were on discipline and all that, and to see how the child behaved without the careful eye of mommy or daddy.
I know that's how I am going to be when I have kids, even if i've got a little ways to wait until that day.
I'm raising my 6 year old niece and I'm rather on the protective side with her. I must know the family and I have a list of questions that I ask them concerning things that matter to me. If I have not been in the home first then she can't go either. By the way, block parties and BBQ's at your home are both great ways to get to know your neighbors in a casual outdoor setting that lets people come and go as they choose and lets children interact while still being observed. I also selfishly try to be sure my house is the best play house on the block so the kids will want to come to us. I just feel better if they are in our home than if they are off somewhere else.
im 17. im not allowed at peoples houses for the day or sleep overs.
My parents made it a point to meet the other child's parents first. If they seemed "off", then I was not allowed to go to that friend's house. If they were normal (i.e. not using drugs, alcohol, proper discipline, happy people), then at first it would be day visits and then eventually I'd be allowed to be sleep over. Day visits are also good because the child can judge whether they are comfortable or not at the other person's house.
My first sleep over at another person's house was at a very early age. This made me independent, and sleepovers became a natural thing to me. In my opinion, my parents had great judgment and I'm thankful they weren't too strict but at the same time had a screening process to cross out the crazy/creepy parents.
I am 19 and when I was 5 my parents let me wander around the block without a parent. I HAD to stay on that block though. When I was 6 I went three blocks to the library. when my parents found out they were SO mad but eventually I could go anywhere I wanted to within a 6 block radius with my friend who was 2 years older than me (8). My neighborhood was/is very safe though.
I think that the age you let them alone at someone's house totally depends on how well you know the someone. My oldest is only 3 and I can be a bit on the protective side, but unless they are a fingerprinted childcare professional (like someone who works at our daycare center and has kids of their own at home for mine to play with) or a family member or very close friend, I can't see myself leaving her at someone's house until at least 6. I work in the office of a daycare center with a preschool and seeing the maturity level of kids ages 3-5 while in a childproofed setting, I would worry about them in someone else's home. Let's say that the parents are weird or creepy and that their kids seem well-adjusted and well-behaved. That is fine, but after they cut some apple slices for the kids, what do they do with the knife? Could they possibly leave it on the counter in the kitchen where little exploring hands might reach it? When does that parent think it is okay for the kids in their care to be out of their line of sight if at all? Does this parent faint at the sight of blood if there would be an accident at their house or do they have a medical condition that could leave them suddenly incapacitated without notice?
There are so many factors that come into play and even a room of ten very normal and responsible adults will vary on these questions. The more you know about the adults and children in the home they will be visiting the better as well as the safety of the home itself. You are the best at taking care of your child, but maybe the questions above will help you with your own list of questions to apply in your mind to parents who you would grant the priviledge of being in your child's space.
Good luck. For the moment, I'm glad that aren't at an age where I'm making those decisions yet, but I'm sure you'll do fine because you are putting so much thought into it.