Yesterday my little Merrick stopped breathing. It probably wasn't more than a minute long but for me, it seemed like an eternity. Here's the story...
We've always known Mer had a strong temper. He went through a head banging phase a few months ago that kinda freaked me out and my pediatrician said "It's not uncommon - it means you've got a very passionate child. Good luck!" Up until now, it's actually cracked me up sometimes to watch his dramatics when he doesn't get what he wants. He's very deliberate! He pauses to think about how mad he is, then gently lowers himself to the floor and proceeds to start kicking and yelling. Funny stuff, really.
And yesterday, when I had to take away a tool he'd found lying around (my husband's been doing some household repairs) I expected the hollar that ensued. I calmly walked out of the room and put the tool away. When I came back he was silent, purple, and toppling head forward to the floor.
I caught him, held him in my lap and told him to breathe. His face looked angry and his mouth was wide open but he seemed incapable of inhaling. His skin started to go gray. His body got very stiff. His fists clenched and his wrists curled up.
It was full on horrifying to witness this.
I blew in Merrick's face hard and he finally took a breath. His body calmed and I sat him up. The color was returning to his face, but his eyes looked sleepy and were rolling around a little. He had inhaled, but he still didn't seem to be returning to normal breathing. I told him to breathe again, blew in his face again and this time he exhaled and then drew in air. He grabbed his head and moaned "ow" and then cuddled up on my shoulder. He seemed exhausted and shaken, but he was finally OK.
And now I'm scared to death to make him mad again.
How do you help your toddlers learn to control their emotions? Is there a book you love? A technique that's worked? Some piece of advice you rely on?
I'll start - when Jude was 2 he developed some serious social anxiety. Any time we were some place new (especially if it was busy like the plentarium or library) he would scream and smack anyone who came near him and then burst into tears. Originally, I thought it was just plain naughty behavior. A friend suggested some reading which helped me to understand more of what was going on in his little brain and taught me how to help him cope.
One of the methods it suggested was a form of meditation that helps calm little kid's rapidly firing brains. It worked wonders with Jude! Looks like I need to start trying it out with Mer.
I'd love to hear your thoughts and ideas!
Comments (9)
Don't worry. If he passes out, he'll automatically start breathing again (unless he's choking on something which was not the case).
Wow... that's terrifying.
That's scary.
My daughter (almost 4 months old) stopped breathing a couple days ago as well. Her face was purple and she was flailing around because she couldn't breathe. My mom tilted her so her head was the lowest point on her body and kept hitting her butt till she started crying. It was the singlemost terrifying moment of my life...even if it didn't hit me till a couple hours later.
Even though she wasn't doing it on purpose, it was scary as hell.
Oh my gosh! That is so scary!! I'm so glad he is doing better now!
How horrible! It is so hard for them to communicate to you as babies or toddlers before they can speak. Sign language helps. I use certain facial expressions when they do something that I don't like. Have them look at your face and see if you are happy or angry. Also, teach them about feelings and emotions, about sad, happy, angry, and teach them about what is proper behavior and what is not acceptable. Don't feel bad about teaching them right from wrong. Waiting until they are older will only be harder to do. There are lots of books that you can read to them and talk about with them designed for toddlers and preschoolers. It would be interesting to know what you used from "The Happiest Toddler on the Block".
Breath holding is scary - my son does it too, but usually only when he hurts him self - he has passed out with it quite a lot. he is always fine though.
oh man. when my oldest was little he did that. he would get so upset and would not be able to inhale like you said. the hardest thing i ever had to do was let him pass out...the advice given to us by a fire fighter friend...the instant he passed out he started breathing properly again. then he would come to and say "ball"...his favorite word at the time! he only did it about 6 times, but man. as a mom it was nearly heart attack inducing! if it makes you feel better, he is 16 now and by far the calmest and emotionally stable one out of the 3 kiddos i have. best of luck to you!
To all you moms and dads with kids who pass out"
I would like to suggest you read a book called "time for change "by Dr Richard Bandler" he is the
co-creator of NLP " im sure it will help you guys a lot.
Elle UK X
Goodness. He has a temper. I'm hoping Camryn's won't be too bad when she gets there.
My brother just recently left for Afghanistan and it is tearing my nephew up. After he got off the phone with him one day he just peed in my brother's bed.(he's potty trained) When his mommy moved it on the floor to get it cleaned, he did it again. When she asked him why he did it he told her "I want my daddy and I not know. I not like afghanistan. Daddy not like afghanistan either." I'm guessing he is having trouble expressing his anger. He's only two so he doesn't really know what's going on just that his daddy isn't there. I'm gonna cry just thinking about it. :(