Thursday, 21 May 2009

  • No Gold Star For Mommy - I Made a Bad Mommy Mistake

    Today was not one of my better days. In fact, I would go as far to say that today was one of my worst in my mommy career. Like most moms, I have my hands full on a daily basis. Taking care of my children, pets, husband, laundry, the house, etc. Throw in a few important phone calls, getting the bills addressed and to the mail box before the mailman comes by, or an unexpected knock at the door and it's easy to get totally distracted from what you were doing.

    In the middle of making dinner, soothing the baby, and refilling sippy cups my neighbor knocked on my front door. As I answered it, I heard my semi-insane mutt come crashing through my back door and into the living room. In an effort to avert one disaster I focused on getting him into the garage before he ran out the front, and didn't think to go shut the back door. I had the baby in my arms, and my two year old had run into her bedroom not long after I put the dog up. After not even a minute at the door, I came back in to finish up dinner when I noticed the back door. My house was quiet, too quiet, and I immediately ran to my toddler's bedroom. Gone. I ran out the open back door, which leads to a deck with an eight step flight of stairs that leads down to our very large back yard. She wasn't on the deck. I looked out into the yard and saw a heart stopping sight: my tiny two year old, fully clothed, splashing into her baby pool.

    By the time I got down the steps and across the yard she was already soaked, getting ready to climb her little inflatable water slide. She was having a grand old time until she saw my face. I'm not exactly sure what my expression was, I would guess somewhere between sheer panic and the start of hysterical crying, but when she saw me she reached her little arms up to me and looked afraid herself. I hugged her cold and wet little body so tight and thanked God that she was safe, and that we opted for a very little, very shallow pool.

    It only takes one minute. Sixty little seconds and two little legs can cover a lot of ground. I'm still not totally sure how she got down the steps so quickly. I can picture her going down each one, her little voice counting, "two, two, TWO!" like she does instead of "one, two, three!" as she went down each step, and me standing inside totally unaware she was even out there. Mommy got a huge wake up call today. No gold star for Mommy.

    My first thought was I am never, ever mentioning this to anyone. I never wanted to admit that my ignorance could have potentially led to a horrible, or even fatal situation for my beloved baby. But then I thought that if sharing my mistake could help someone else, or could be that little wake up call without the first hand horrible experience, then I would tell anyone who would listen! I know all of us mamas have a ton on our plate everyday, and I know how easy it is to be distracted, but it only takes one tiny minute for one tiny mistake to be the worst you've ever made. Today really made me remember that chores and dust will always be there, and how badly I needed to refocus my energy. I need to do better for my girls.

    Have you ever made a bad mommy mistake? What has it taught you to do differently?

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Comments (19)

  • vanityxxoh@xanga

    Awh, I bet that was so terrifying.
    I have an 11 month old that is very very moblie and is in to all sorts of things, and I'm not used to him being all over the place and one minute he's there and the next he's not.
    One day I left the door the the apartment balcony open and surely enough he crawled right out there and i hadn't any clue.
    I was terrified when I saw that he was out there by himself and had one arm in between the rails.

  • Erika_Steele@xanga

    that's scary. I am glad she was safe. So far I have been lucky.  The most my son does when I am distracted is go up stairs, close the door, and then get mad because he can't open it again.  I am knocking on wood that he never hurts himself.  You are not super mama even though you may want to be.  You don't have all seeing eyes, but you do have great mama intuition.
  • madna@xanga

    I am a nanny to a 12 month old and he's learning to walk now. He loves going up and down the stairs and gets frustrated when you help him too much. So I stand close by and let him go. He's come so close to tumbling backwards down the stairs several times, and I always catch him, and he always laughs. I completely understand. And even though I'm not yet a mommy myself, I still feel about the little one I look after like i would feel about my own baby.
  • sugartomyhoney@xanga

    Thankfully your little one was just fine.  You may not get a gold star today, but over all I bet you get much more than a gold star....one day you will have some great kids that have grown up in to wonderful adults because they had an awesome mommy that loved them and cared about them and learned along the way.

    Now my story, I'll tell one from my youngest.  He is now 7, but when he was between 1 and 2, we had taken one of many trips out to Ohio where our older daughter was going to college.  We left on a Friday night after hubby got home from work.  Along for the ride...me, hubby, older son (about 13 at the time), and daughter (around 16 at the time) along with the baby.  When we got to the hotel we were all EXHAUSTED.  We dropped the suitcases and we all just collapsed on the beds, including the baby...or so we thought.  Suddenly, for some reason I was jolted awake!  I said "Where's Jonah?"  Our older son jumped up and flew out the hotel door to find the baby in the hall way crying.  Lesson learned...from then or the hotel door was barricaded even when we were all awake!  Boy was that scary!
  • Maidofglass07@xanga

    once when I was little, my mom and I were returning from grocery shopping. She left me strapped into my carseat to unload the groceries. She was inside putting them away when there was a knock on the door, and when she answered it, there was a strange lady holding my hand, asking if I was hers. Apparently I'd gotten myself out of the car seat and wandered towards the street when the lady found me.
  • IamKelleyK@xanga
    You're a Star!

    I'm glad you shared that.   I don't think you're a horrible mother for that.  At least you noticed she was out there and averted a major disaster.  Bad parents don't notice stuff like that.  You're a good mommy!  Your kids are fortunate!  I will go ahead and give you a gold star.

  • kelli720@xanga

    I had a wake up mommy moment today too, I am extremly grateful that my son is ok and everything turned out alright, and i am definatly more aware now and won't be making that mistake again.  I am also glad that your little one is ok too.
  • Suesbooks

    We have all done something when in a hurry or in error. I remember locking the car door behind me, but the baby was still in the car. Luckily the window was still opened enough that we could get a hanger between to open the door which a nice person helped with. Also, I had gone out the back door without unlocking the lock and was locked out of the house once. Now I know to always use the key the lock the car door and to always carry the key around my wrist or on a chain all day so that these things don't happen again.


    Thanks for sharing. It only takes a second for them to get into trouble, because they really haven't learned yet.  Mistakes happen.  As long as no one was hurt and everyone learned something from it. Every situation is a teaching moment.

  • Loonsounds@xanga

    Thank you for sharing this. It definitely brought tears to my eyes.  Two two....awwwww.  You did OK and everything is OK and you did a great thing to share this and maybe help somebody else.  xo to the baby too.
  • storiesandsinker@xanga

    I would have been so scared had I been you.

    Yes, you made a mistake, but it was an easy mistake to make, and thankfully, she's safe. I'm pretty sure you won't do it again.
    Don't be harsh on yourself. Based on this post, you're a very caring mother. Your children are lucky to have you.

    Ps. The whole "Two, two, two" thing is absolutely adorable.

  • TheDumberScott@xanga

    Thanks for sharing. All water is dangerous. Glad she is safe!
  • kidzandK9z@xanga

    Man, that was scary, I once left my neice at school on the day that I was supposed to pick her up....the bad thing was that I picked up my two kids from the same school, but left her!
  • careegroup@xanga

    Either I'm way laid back and haven't yet panicked when seeing my oldest in precarious situations (like standing on the bathroom counter with no clothes on looking in the mirror shouting, "I'm NAKED!" or I'm lucky that my kid isn't into stuff when I'm not paying attention.  It happens to the best parent though.  My husband once closed himself in the bathroom while he was cleaning it to keep our son away from the fumes.  When he came out of the bathroom he found the baby chewing on the pieces of the jar he stored his bacon grease in.  Luckily there wasn't any serious damage, but he spent the rest of the afternoon baby proofing the apartment and feeling terrible!
  • oversoon@xanga

    Oh boy do I know how you feel! I have had a lot of these days.  But , I will share the one for this week.


    My oldest son is a very fast runner.  So, his baseball coach wants him to steal bases every tiny chance he can.  In a practice game two days ago, the coach kept sending him on to next base and telling him to slide.  Well, my son never would slide.   My husband and I were getting really frustrated with our son.  So, after practice we took him back out to the field to make him practice sliding.  Reluctantly he did as we asked and then hopped up from the base crying after he slid. He then ran off the field and jumped in our van.  I went to the van to see what was wrong.  Apparently, there was a sticker patch at second base!  He had slid through it and really tore his hiney bad.  It was swollen and bleeding.  It is still swollen and bruised two days later.


    Boy, talk about feeling like a horrible parent.  We, unknowingly, caused our child an injury.  I asked him why did you do it if you knew the sticker patch was there?  He said "I didn't want you to think I was a wimp.".   But, at his game last night, he slid like a pro. I asked him "Why the change?".  He said "If I can slide through that sticker patch, I can slide anywhere!".


    Wow!  I'm a horrible parent and my kid loves me anyway.  And, HE thinks he is a better player now because of the stickers we "made" him slide through that day.


    Thank you for sharing your story.  It's comforting to know I am not the only parent that slips up sometimes.
  • alternative_mom@xanga

    I have definitely made some mommy mistakes.  My son is three months old and my step daughter is three.  And I swear,m I turn my back for one second and she is gone.  The other day, she escaped out of her room while I was in the bathrom and ate half a bottle of gummy bear vitamins!  She was okay but I hae definitely learned to be more careful about where I put certain things.  Because she has eaten lotion before too.
  • firechild06@xanga

    pretty sure every mommy makes mistakes now and then.  at least yours turned out okay... my friend lost her little boy when it wasn't clear who was watching him.  she went to take a shower and she lives with her parents so she assumed that they were watching him while they assumed that he was somewhere safe and he got out back and drown in their big pool... 
    mommy mistakes happen, just be thankful that you can hug your little girl and refocus so that it doesn't happen again... I know I have majorly since my friend's accident.
  • mmaaaaa@xanga

    Dont beat yourself up, it was an accident. My husband left my 3 month old baby in the bath walked away to get something from the wardrobe i shouted wheres the baby and he said shes grand shes in the bath. I gave out hell to him after i ran into the bathroom to watch my baby and then i left him on his own as i couldnt face him i was soooooo disgusted i nearly filed for divorce. Men are sooooo thick sometimes.
  • lilbit@xanga

    Any mother has made mistakes. If she says she hasn't then she's not being honest. None of us want to admit that we turned our heads, focused on something else, slept a little longer than usual, thought we closed a door all the way for that split second and in slow motion as REALITY sets in your entire existence is going to fall apart because we just weren't thinking. Why couldn't I get there faster? What wasn't I watching? Why didn't I get a hint quicker that I needed to watch him? I am supposed to be a Mom and Moms don't forget to pay attention to their kids, what is wrong with me?


    If I could have prevented even slip, fall, bump, cut, bruise... how fearsome would I be? To be swift enough to prevent the smallest of slights on any child's skin. Please. We are human and being a mother didn't come with instructions or if it did they ran out at the hospital.


    That moment when the normal dull roar of laughing and being a baby ceases to happen in the background and the overwhelming fear of "Oh no, where did the baby go?" sets in. That is something you will take with you the rest of your life. We all have "no gold star days" as Moms. Those are rare for us. When it happens we regroup, reflect and learn. That is what makes us great.


    Good Luck to you.

  • abh816@xanga

    In a town I used to live in a 2 year old boy was found on one of the main roads at 3am. They had all went to sleep, and her son got out of bed, unlocked the door, went outside, and was walking around. She said the last time she checked on him was at 11, right before she went to bed. So he could have been out there for 4 hours! 


    I understand why that would make you feel like such a bad parent, but honestly, it wasn't your fault. It could have happened to anyone.

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