Friday, 01 May 2009

• Benefits of Pregnant Women on the Economy

   by Mama Monkey 

  

  I have been thinking (in my slightly delusional, 34 week pregnant mind) that the pregnant woman right now is like a little economic stimulus package in and of herself. Sound crazy? Well, let's think this through ...

  I am pretty sure that the toilet paper companies could make a profit every year on just pregnant women alone. I can no longer count the number of times that I am running to the bathroom during the day and am now up, on average, twice each night because the urge hits me. I just commented to my husband, while we were making a grocery list the other day, that I wondered if our brand of toilet paper had decreased the amount that they were putting on each roll because we seem to be going through it much more quickly. (Pregnancy brain caused me not to make the connection until he brought it up - looking at me like I was crazy for not realizing where all the toilet paper was going.)

  Not only is it toilet paper, but kleenex also. Our wonderful hormones will make us cry if the spaghetti we cooked got a bit overdone, our child got an A on their test or a sneeze caused a small amount of incontinence (again ... and off to the bathroom it is).

  Of course, while we are at the grocery store picking up another case of toilet paper and kleenex, the cravings hit. If you are anything like me, you know you are craving something but you don't know exactly what it is. So you spend an hour wandering around the grocery store trying to figure out what it is. You leave the store with a half dozen different things, figuring one of the must be it. Of course, after getting home and eating/drinking everything you brought home, you realize that none of it 'hit the spot'. All that food did, however, leave you with awful heartburn so you go to your bathroom to retrieve some antacids (which you have also started buying by the case) ... and you relieve yourself while you are there.

  An hour later, your craving still not satisfied and the heartburn subsiding, you suddenly have an epiphany and realize that you are hungry for your favorite sandwich from the best little restaurant in town ... OK, so it isn't in your town, but the drive you are going to make your husband take to get that sandwich is worth it. How many gallons of gas do you think are used yearly to satisfy a pregnant woman,s' cravings?

  As mentioned earlier, the hormones raging through our bodies create very strange emotions. That, along with the excitement of having a new baby, compel us to buy ludicrous things because we are convinced that our baby absolutely NEEDS them. I mean, really, would you want to have your butt wiped with a cold wipe when it could, instead, be nice and toasty warm? And, with the number of times a baby spits up or otherwise messes up their clothes in a day, we all know that if we find a super cute outfit we should really buy two of them (in every size) just incase the baby gets it dirty just before that special friend gets to your house to see your baby for the first time. We can't be showing off a baby with spit up on their clothes or in slightly less cute clothes. How embarrassing!

  Now, we can talk about how us pregnant ladies keep all the flower companies afloat. Once again with the hormones, our poor husbands are at our mercy. Heaven forbid he put a dish on the wrong shelf and the whole world falls apart. Of course, we are too much a wreck to explain to him what is really going on so when he comes home from work the next day, convinced he must have done something REALLY bad to upset us the way he did (though he has no idea what), he brings a beautiful bouquet of flowers with him ... to go with the 3 he brought home for similar reasons last week.

  Toward the end of pregnancy, many women experience what is called a 'nesting instinct'. You read about it in pregnancy books and magazines and think 'WONDERFUL! This means that I will actually have a clean house to come home to after the baby arrives since I will be so driven to take care of it before hand.' Yes, that nesting phase is a time where I have always accomplished many good things around the house - laundry gets done, closets get cleaned, baseboards get washed, everything gets organized and put in it's spot. However, this nesting can also send you racing back to your local department store looking for the perfect containers, tools, cleaners, sponges and rags needed to get all this work done right. (And it has to be done RIGHT ... or we will be back to the scenario mentioned in the previous paragraph.)

  So, these are just a few of the ways that us pregnant women are helping to keep afloat this hurting economy. Sure, some may talk about the overcrowding of the planet, but can you imagine what would happen to the economy if there were actually to stop being pregnant women?

  • 1:11 PM
  • 1248 Views
  • 22 eProps
  • 11 Comments