Tuesday, 17 March 2009
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Leashing Your Toddler - Not Such a Bad Idea!
I call Jeremiah my little puppy on occasion. He is very frisky, curious, and loves to investigate. He has no problem eating cheerios or goldfish that he finds on the floor, and LOVES drinking the water in the bath tub, puppy style. Balls are a favorite toy of his... as is his new child harness- aka THE TODDLER LEASH.
Louis wanted to register for one when we were creating our baby registry. However, at the time I flat out refused. I thought they seemed cruel, confining, and lazy on the part of the parents. I mean, shouldn't you just teach your child to hold your hand and stay put?
And then we purchased our Disneyland Annual Pass.
Now that Jeremiah is walking, he is no longer content being cooped up in his stroller or in my arms for hours on end. As big and crowded of a place that Disneyland is, where we visit on a weekly basis, I refuse to let him walk by himself, unassisted, especially since he does not obey "Come here NOW!" or hold my hand. Plus, with me being half an inch shy of 6 feet tall, I'd have to walk like Quasimoto just to hold his hand (if he were to let me, which he doesn't.). So, following the advice of my neighbor I went to Target and invested $12 in this:
An Eddie Bauer child harness!
The look in Jeremiah's eyes when he realized that he was given a taste of "Freedom" on Wednesday at Disneyland was priceless. If he had stood still for two seconds I would have been able to get a picture! They all came out way too blurry to even bother saving. I think it's safe to say that exploring has officially topped going on Dumbo and It's a Small World, his two favorites. And it was worth every penny. It is not something that I will be using on a daily basis or for every outing, just to huge places like Disneyland and the airport. Places where there are mass crowds that we will be at for longer periods of time and he will need to stretch his legs.
Now we just need to teach him not to eat pieces of food that he finds on the ground at Disney!!
Your thoughts/experiences on child harnesses?
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- From: MelodicPuppy@xanga
- About Me: Baby Girl Castillo is due Feb. 2010! My husband, son, and unborn princess are my pride and joy!
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Comments (68)
i've seen many toddler's leashes :D they're so cute ! as if the stuffed animals were like their backpacks :3
I am kind of like you were when you were pregnant. I think they are kind of weird, your child is a child, not a pet. I do think there area few cases where they would come in hand, but personally I doubt I will ever buy one for my son. He is going on 27 months, but he still is very tolerable of his stroller and LOVES for me to hold him when I actually offer it. Haha.
I can imagine if we travelled more (through airports) and went to more crowded places, I may start to talk it out with the husband. But we are both kind of ehhh about it.
I only get so aggravated when I see it being used in daily tasks... like walking around in the park, at the grocery store (and it is their ONLY kid), or even at the flea market (when again, it is their ONLY kid -- if they had more than one, it is more understandable). It just kind of irks me at how lazy some parents are getting. I am in no way calling you lazy. I can imagine being that tall and trying to hold your little one's hand can be rather frustrating. I am only five foot, four inches... so it doesn't bother me at all. Plus he prefers to be held... or be lazy and ride in our stroller, haha.
When my daughter was little, I borrowed one for a trip to the zoo. It was for many of the same reasons you state. She is and always was independent. We live in a very small, safe community, so she never learned to fear strangers. She felt like she was independent and I felt like she was safely in tow, so we were both able to enjoy the zoo.
My friend has a toddler harness like the one you picture. One of her boys liked to wear it so much he would even wear it when it wasn't strictly necessary. I think he felt it gave him permission to act like a puppy or a monkey -- or lent some authenticity to the play.
I have three children and the harness was purchased with the first. At first it was the safety measure you talk about and as each child got older it was used as a discipline measure when they knew to do as they were told and "stay with Mummy" and just plain didn't!
I was told on many occasion that I had my children leashed to which I would reply, "would you rather they go missing?" There is no shame in a harness ... just love and thoughtfulness.
I'm with you...for crowds, I can see it being a very good thing. It does disappoint me though when I see them being used during the everyday; in empty grocery stores, at fenced in parks, walking down the sidewalk on a normal day...times when you would think that parents would be investing the time in teaching their child such things as, "Stay with mommy and daddy or you're going to have to ride in the stroller/cart; it's dangerous."
I've always thought they were wrong too, but you bring up really good points. And anyway, my mom used one on me when I was little, and I don't remember minding.
Both my husband and I were totally against "leashes". He told me stories about when his mom had him "leashed" and he would wrap himself around strangers... But, when my daughter began walking at 9 months and refused to sit down EVER, I revisited the idea.
One day, a friend and I were at Target with my two kids. Meredith (the runner) refused to sit in the cart which was typical so I had her help me push the cart. That worked fine until I stopped to look at something and she was off! She must have been around 14-19 months at the time. Anyway, my friend and I were at our wits end with her and so my friend had a genius idea.. She went to the dollar area in the front of the store and bought a dog collar and leash.. Now, this sounds bad but it worked wonderfully and was much cheaper than the harnesses that she hated. We used the collar as a belt for her pants that were always loose at the waist anyway because she was/is so skinny and then attached the leash. It was perfect. Now that she's older (27 months) she will walk with the cart like a normal child and follow directions but that leash SAVED my sanity!
Great idea! I used one and tell every parent I come across to use them! My mom had used one one me. It gives the parent the security knowing where the child is at. It only takes 5 seconds to lose a child in a crowd. Since children are naturally curious critters it lets them have a sense of freedom. A win/win situation!
~D~
@filtered_sunlight - I think that's sad, too! My neighbor across the street has a daughter the same age as my son, and she brings it on every playdate we have together. She uses it not only on our front lawn (where they love to play) but IN MY HOUSE. Come on now
This post has totally changed my mind about leashes, actually. What an awesome perspective, and what great logic. Great post!
it almost looks like the kid has a tail. lol.
I have only had to use one on one of my children, and I believe it was for a trip to the zoo. We do still have it though, in case we were to ever need it again. It isn't one of the cute ones with the animal on the back though ... maybe I will have to buy a new one. I remember my mom using one on my little brother when they first came out and the ones they had then were, to me, much more dangerous than helpful. I just remember that it was just a strap that went around his wrist and attached to the 'leash'. One, if the child were to fall, you could seriously twist an arm with that thing and two, how hard would it be for someone to undo that small strap of velcro and take off with your kid anyhow. I like the ones they have now much better.
I do agree with you, though, that they are really only appropriate in certain situations and not an every day kind of thing.
@MelodicPuppy@xanga - Exactly!
I don't care if someone wants to use one on their kid, wherever they are. It isn't my business. I'd use one myself if I were in a crowded place with the risk of my child running away from me or somehow getting separated. And I wouldn't care what other nosy people would be thinking if I were using one. Why do we judge so damn much?!?!
I think you can't judge any parent until you've actually walked in
their shoes. Some who say it's ridiculous to use the harness in every
day activities probably don't know what it's like to have a special
needs child. I have two kids under three and some days, it's REALLY
hard to just get to the front door of the grocery store so I can get
them in a cart. But even if I just had one, she's such a handful that
it would STILL be hard to get to the front of the grocery store. So I
guess my point is, don't judge unless you've been there.
I just brought one of the monkey ones this past Sunday. My son is very active 15 month old and loves to run. So I plan to go on walks with him and let him run ahead, by me holding his hand it slows him down. I also plan on using it when we go to the zoo this summer, etc.
My parents used one on me when I was little, but I can't remember so I really have nothing to add on that front. I think it's a great idea for the same reasons you mention - allowing more freedom without worrying about your child getting lost. As long as you aren't using it to punish them or when they no longer need it then I don't see the issue. I think most people are slightly uncomfortable with it because of the similarity to pets.
I was actually on a baby leash when I was younger. My mom said that I used to run away and hide when I went shopping with her and stuff. She didn't use it a lot though. Only in crowded situations.
I am almost 50 and my Mother HAD to put me on a leather leash (they did not have nylon back then) because I was forever curious about the world and around me, and forever wandering off too. Took only seconds. She really caved in when at 2 1/2, she looked up, neither could find me, and both heard a fire truck outside and knew immediately I must of been attracted by the sound. We live in the country and this was a visit to the BIG CITY (really a small town, but to a kid!). I walked OUT INTO THE STREET to see the big red truck and my Dad manage to just grabbed me just in time. From there on out, I was on a leash. I was at the time hard of hearing (now deaf). And soon after, my baby brother was born. So, you can see my poor parents HAD to do that.
I got a harness for my oldest, nice blue nylon, nothing cute on it, too bad. When pregnant with my second child. There was just NO way I could out run my toddler at 15 months and he took off like a rocket when he wanted to. So I used it on him every day, unless we were in a safe place, like a play ground, Church, or some other place I knew they were safely contained.
So as it been said, don't judge till you been in the Parents shoes. As for being Lazy, sometimes it is nice to walk without having to keep a beady eye every single second on the child, but can feel where they are without bending over all the time to walk with them. Plus, its so much sweeter when they WANT to hold your hand.
nancy louise
I have the monkey one in the picture. I never cared about them before I got pregnant. Once my son started walking, I understood why people use them. I could care less who thinks I am lazy.
There have been so many post about children harness systems and on most of them my comments go something like this;
I don't agree with harnessing children unless under certain circumstances such as: you have twins/tripletts/5 under 5... whatever. Or you are going some where crowded like Disney where you can't catch your child when they don't listen to come here and hold my hand.
I mean really I think they are okay as long as you are being a responsible parent and you are not using your kid leash as an excuse not to watch your child.
I remember my parents using a leash on my younger brother, not all the time but on occasions. And I am still very ify about the whole leash idea but I do have one that I recieved as a girft and now that my son is 14 months and a free spirt I think I may need the leash on occasion. We travel alot because we live overseas and I think the leash may come in handy then. I have not used the leash yet, but for now I am keeping an open mind and keeping the leash around to see how things go in crowded situations.
My parents used the harness on both my sister and myself when we were little, because we were both "runners". I am thankful that she was thinking of our safety. I used a wrist one on my daughter, because her arm would get tired from holding on to mine for so long and she hated the stroller. I used the nylon chest harness for my son, because he was a "runner". I decided to use these because I wanted to have a child that was safe and healthy. If he tried to run, I would still take the time to speak to him about staying with Mommy, etc... There were two occassions that he darted out into the street and would have run into an oncoming car if the leash and harness hadn't pulled him up short. I know the driver of one of the cars was as thankful for that leash as I was. I think we tend to judge other parents through the filter of our own children far too much. If you have a child who listens, stays in the stroller and stays with you, then be thankful but please don't judge those who don't. After all, we all want what's best for our children, but not one formula works best for all kids. We need to use what works for ours.
my husband loathes the child harness - maybe, if he reads this post, he would change his mind. i wouldn't use it either on a daily basis, but rather in crowds like you've mentioned. great post.
I will hold my opinion on them until I have children of my own!!
It just wouldnt be fair otherwise!
Good luck with the food thing, lol!