Monday, 09 March 2009

• My Children Rise and WHINE!

    by Mama Monkey 

  

  There are few things that grate on my nerves worse than whining. Funny thing is, I have been told that I was quite the whiner growing up. Apparently, I even advised my younger sister once that all she had to do was whine and cry and she would get whatever it was she wanted. Now, whining is something that I will not allow in my house ... though my children seem to see this issue differently.

  I don't think a child sets out to whine - at least not the first time. It is just a tone of voice they get as they are begging and pleading for something that they want. But, once they figure out the effects of this lethal (at least to my ears) weapon, they learn very quickly how to use it. Of course, if you give into the whining, they learn even quicker because it is a simple and fast way to get what they want. And once it is a habit they have developed, it can be very hard to break them of it.

  Now, I would like to say that my husband and I NEVER give into whining. I would like to ... but I can't. Can anybody honestly say that they have NEVER given into the whining of their child (or their husband for that matter)?  It is those times when I am already frazzled and tired, when the whining becomes the straw that finally breaks the camels back, that I just don't want to listen to it and will give in.

  I am, after all, only human. Generally speaking though, it is very rarely that my children will get what they were looking for when they employ whining. Often, just the opposite is true. There have even been times when they were going to get whatever it was they wanted (say a snack or video game time), but whined for whatever reason anyhow (generally feeling that I did not move quickly enough in getting them what they wanted), and thus end up not getting whatever it was.

  I don't mind kids running through the house screaming playfully. I don't mind siren noises or pretend gun blasts. The choir of noisy toys they have acquired singing throughout the day does not bother me. But whining drives me nuts! I do not respond to whining. If my boys are whining at me, then I simply state that I do not listen to whining and walk away. When they are willing to talk to me more calmly, I will listen.

  Yet, despite my most prudent efforts, my children continue to whine. I suppose maybe it is just a normal part of childhood, but I always thought that if I didn't respond to it then it would stop. I don't respond, but they keep trying. It is a battle I will not give up on, but have realized that it may be much longer lasting than originally planned.

  Do you think whining is just a normal, unavoidable part of childhood? How do you handle whining?

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