My parents are married, but we are middle class. No I don't have a job and no I don't have chores, but I do help out. And I'm currently taking all honors classes and next year I'm taking all honors and AP, so I don't know of anybody who would call me an underachiever. Maybe I'm an anomaly, I'm told that often enough, but still. 

and lord knows trust fund babies and teen celebrities are never problems...way to pick on the middle class!  Do you have any studies to back up these statistics?

If only this blog had happened fifteen years ago, perhaps my family wouldn't be in pieces! I'm from a divorced, middle-class family, and while I may not be an underacheiver (honors student in HS, now junior in college and living on my own) my sisters certainly are (one's a dropout, the other is pregnant and repeating the 10th grade). Perhaps if my parents had implemented these strategies, things would be different.

when my parents divorced when i was in high school, they were too busy being emotional at each other to pay attention to me... by the time the issue was resolved i was already in college, but the split definitely affected my grades negatively. i see the same things you talk about in my sister... she is really spoiled. but she has always been that way and she is actually better now that my parents have split up. weird but true

As long as you understand that not all of us teens of middle class parents (divorced or not) are underachievers, lazy, irresponsible, etc. I'm 14 and in 8th grade, in Geometry (a 10th grade class) and in another class at the high school, am taking journalism next year, will be in the marching band as well as the freshman band, and will be in all enriched classes as well as am in all enriched now. I was on cross country in the fall and am four days away from the first track and field practice (even though I hate running), as well as a member of the color guard (flag line) and Power of the Pen (basically the school writing team) now. Clearly I'm not an underachiever and by the sizes of my classes, I'm not the only overachiever either. I always get chores done when I'm asked, practice piano at least 45 minutes every day, play French horn, get all my homework done every night, and am looking into volunteering at our local humane society, food bank, or soup kitchen at least weekly, the later two I've done in the past. At 14 years old I'm still a Girl Scout, having done it for years.

Obviously, I'm none of the stereotypes mentioned at the beginning, and I'm by far still not the best person out there my age. What every adult needs to realise is that we're still just kids, and until we're adults, we're going to act like kids. Very few of us are actually spoiled brats, and a great many of us are working hard at preparing ourselves to set foot in the adult world ready to be great people.

Please don't judge us. While some of us do fit into the strerotypes, many of us don't, and hate falling under the assumption of being low-lives that will lay on our bums later in life and screw up the world.

Because really, you were all teens once, too.

@AnchorsAwayx@xanga - two of my best friends are children of divorces. While it's true that they have two bedrooms, it's only because they need somewhere to sleep at both houses! Between them, two of them can afford to make it by. The other two parents (because without setting up a stereotype, both had the same family setup) are by no means handing them things, giving them things they don't need, or letting them be spoiled. My friends of divorced parents get less than my friends with married parents.

I've seen some kids just like how you described. I ought to send this guide to their moms.

I, on the hand, had a father that didn't care to fight for me so he gave me nothing... And my single mom worked hard to raise my brother and me on my own, so she really made it a point to teach me the value of a dollar and now I'm a great saver and help her out all the time.  My mom must have used this same guide.

*reading through comments*
Wow maybe  people should own up and take responsibility for their actions rather then blambing it on their parents' divorce. I think that's the real problem here.

@sweetsorrows314@xanga - Or maybe the parents should have set some guidelines instead of letting their guilt lead the way.  Maybe you should think about someone else in a different situation before commenting.

@AmistadBaby@xanga - I can only hope my 2 daughter grow up to want to fill there lives with so many positive things! Yes you are right teen are still children on the cusp of young adult hood and parents need to remember that!

@ohritz@xanga - I'm just saying that kids of upperclass families who more then likely get every thing handed to them on a silver plate can be just as big of an 'underachiever' as a child from a divorced middle class family. If anything watching my mother struggle trying to raise me and my sister has only made me more determinded to make something of myself and I know my 14 year old sister feels the same way.It doesn't matter what social class you are from or what kind of family you are from, if you're not driven then you're not driven, it depends on your outlook on life. But apperently to be successful your father has to be a doctor and your mother has to be susie homemaker... yea ok

I don't know why so many places say this. Unless you are extremely good at communicating, "validating your teen's feelings" will sound patronizing. Also, living with both parents is not always a good idea, and I would not trust anybody who has a firm belief in this. My parents split up because my father cannot communicate at all. This is not a good environment to live in and I chose to leave when I had the chance. My sister who spends time 50/50 has developed severe mood swings. And by no means am I an underachiever, I graduated summa cum laude.

This all sounds really good, but the one thing I cannot stress enough when it comes to chores is this: Do not push. Do not constantly pester them about it. Tell them it needs to be done, and then let them do it. If they wait a little bit, it's not the end of the world. Most of these things (taking the trash out, washing the dishes, etc.) do not have to be done right away, and pushing them is only going to piss them off and make them less willing to do it. Now, if they don't do it at all, implement your punishment. It's not a bad idea to remind them should an hour or so pass, but I remember a very nasty fight my mother and I got into simply because I did not do things as soon as I was told. I'm an adult now, and still feel very much the same way about it. As a teen, they have friends, and things they are interested in doing. There are often times when they may be in the middle of doing something when you ask them to do something else.

Also... when telling your child to do something, don't make it forceful right off the bat. A simple "Would you mind doing ____ real quick?" rather than "Do ____." is likely to take you much further if your child is anything like I was.

Having only moved out about two years ago, these are all things that are fresh in my mind, so I just figured I'd toss them in. :P

Also...

Not ALL kids from divorced parents are spoiled. Yes, my brother and I were able to do a lot of things with my father, but that is simply because they are things my father does with or without us. He goes to cons and plays gaes, whether we're there or not. When we were there, it gave us a chance to do those things together. My sister is nowhere near spoiled by either of her parents. I hate stereotypes, and this one is so very misplaced. Yes, this may be the situation in some homes... but there are plenty where it is not.

I am a middle class teen who is a product of divorce. I am attending a prestigious university and graduated 4th in my class; I volunteered all through high school; I was involved in many clubs around campus; I spent six years doing the majority of the household chores and parenting my younger brother. How's that for spoiled underachiever? 

Think before you stereotype. The cause of misbehaving teens is bad parenting and unresponsible children, not divorce or class.