Tuesday, 03 March 2009
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Just Stop Growing ... Please
My journey in motherhood did not start out the way that I had always imagined it would.
I always thought that I'd wait for sex until marriage and then be married at least a year or two before adding any children into the mix. Of course, even marriage itself wasn't 'supposed' to come until after I had completed college. Things did not turn out that way, however. My senior year in high school, I gave into temptation and the pleading of my boyfriend and May of that year, I ended up pregnant at 18.
I really didn't have a problem with being a 'teen mom'. I knew that I'd always wanted to have kids, I just started earlier than I planned. But, I've always loved the quote, "If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans". Obviously, different things were planned for my life - and I was (and am) OK with that.
I definitely didn't fit the stereotype that teen parents so often have. My son and I did live with my parents for the first 6 months of his life. Just enough time for me to adjust to the new role I was in. Then, when our son was just under 6 months old, I married his father - the man who is still my husband today. We have been through some tough times, though we have also been very fortunate in that we have great family around us as a support system.
I never did go back to school... because I still haven't decided what I would go for even if i did go back. My husband was able to continue his education as planned and graduated college with both a bachelor's in education and math and an associate's in computer programming.
Now, we have 3 boys with a fourth on the way and, though things are not perfect, they are generally going pretty well. I truly can't even imagine where either of us would be today had we not had our first son when we did.
I can truly say that I was never upset about being a teen parent. Just a couple days ago, however, that baby turned 9 and I just can't believe it.
I look at my life and the life of others my age and I am too young to have a 9 year old! To think that in just 9 more years, I will have a child graduating from high school is just mind blowing to me. The first 9 years went by way to quickly and I can only imagine that the next 9 will go by even faster.
It makes me want to cling to every moment that I have and make the best of it all. I don't know about you, but my children are growing up way to fast!
Watching your children grow up, do you feel as though time is going by way too fast?
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About the Author
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- From: mamamonkey
- About Me: Hi! I am Mama Monkey - a SAHM of 3 wonderful, energetic boys ages 8, 5, and 22 months. They definitely keep me busy, but I love (almost) every minute of it. I have been married to Papa Monkey (25 year old computer programmer) for 8 years and we have known each other for 10. We started our family life a bit early, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I am a bit of a cleaning and organizing freak and am always looking for new ideas on how to keep things around here organized and unchaotic - as you can imagine, that is not the easiest with 3 rowdy boys. I love to write as it has always been one of the best ways for me to get the myriad of thoughts racing through my head out. I hope you enjoy my little writings, are able to identify and even, at times, maybe get a bit of wisdom from them. I am so excited to have my writings shared with you all.
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Comments (13)
I feel that way all the time. My son is turning 7 in November and I'm only 22, and I just can't believe it. In a little over 3 years I'll have a 10 year old!!! A 10 YEAR OLD!! WTH? His sister just turned 2 and it breaks my heart...
neither of my babies are babies anymore
((((((
I can't help but comment on this because it sounds like my life...I had my daughter when I was a senior in high school as well...she's 20 months now and I also have a son that's 6 months. It's crazy to think that it's almost been two years already...I can't imagine what it's like to be at nine years...it must be a crazy feeling.
wow, thats great that you are okay with it. i would personally be devistated, but i'm not sure if i would be strong enough to say no to a boyfriend..
hopefully i would be though :)
Similarly to you, I was 20 when our first was born. Now I'm 25, with 3. Nobody else I know from high school has any kids yet, and I have three. Kinda weird. They must all think I threw my life away. But mostly I look at what crap they're doing, and they're just in a state of arrested development. I think it's them who are throwing their lives away.
At least once a week I look at one of my kids and say "how the heck did (s)he get so big!?"
Haha! From a daughter's perspective, I CAN'T wait to grow up. HAHA. But if I were to have children, I'd never want them to grow up either. You're insanely lucky to have three boys (and a fourth--a boy too?). I want four boys.
I don't have children of my own, but I know one thing, it's even sad to watch little cousins grow up. When you look at pictures of them from only a couple of years before, it's one major shock. I know my mom and dad always used to tell me they wanted to put bricks on my head to make me stop growing, haha. (:
I'll be 39 when my youngest (and last) is a legal adult. That is absolutely crazy to me.
With all my kids, all of a sudden they will do something and I have to pause and think "When did you grow up so fast?" You blink and you miss it.Â
I try telling my son everyday to stop growing up so fast, so far he is not listening.
Yes I feel the same way. My oldest just turned 11 and my baby is 4 1/2 months. If I had had the foresight to know how fast time would go I would have held onto every moment with my oldest. Having my youngest made me realize that the time we have with our kids is just so short. My oldest will finish up 5th grade and go onto 6th this year. He will be graduating in 7 years and then he will be off onto his own life. It's makes me sad to think that all to soon this portion of my life with him will be over and both he and I will move into new roles and have a different relationship. I used to say when my oldest was little, I can't wait until he can do this or that. With my youngest I don't say those things I just enjoy my time with him and am a little sad when I see him doing new things.
Treasure the time that you have to spend with them. The time just flies by sometimes. There is something new happening all the time and you are fortunate to have the time to watch them grow before your eyes.
I never looked at it from that perspective. I think I'm going to treasure the time I spend with my parents more after reading this, because I never realised how the time that goes so slowly for us (can't wait to drive/go to college/get married/have kids/have a job <-- that last one is not me, my friend!) so anyway that time which goes so slowly for us goes so fast for my parents. I think if my parents knew what I just read and the effect it had had on me they'd probably be grateful to you forever!
I was so ready to be an adult when I was growing up, and it all seemed to go too slow. I sometimes wish I could rewind now. I know it's going to be just the opposite when I have kids. My mother is always talking about how she would love for us to move up to where she is (and, believe me, we're thinking about it), and I know she hates that I left home as soon as I did.
I plan to spend as much time as I can with my kids, without being too much in their face, of course. I don't want to be a mother whose kids leave home before she realizes what's going on.
My son is 7 and he has defied all odds since he opened his eyes. He amazes me at his perspective of life, his faith in God and that everything is fixed with buying his favorite box of cereal.
My DH and I are planning a new baby soon so I ask my son how he feels about it. He is very excited so the next question was "Do you want a brother or a sister?" Chocolate brown eyes search the room, squint for an answer and very decidedly he replies "Yes."
"Tiny Face, it was an either or question not an all the above question." Tiny giggles burst from him as he holds his belly. "I know it Momma, but seriously (holds my face in his hands) I would love brothers and sisters. The more I have that are younger than me then the bigger brother I get to be."
"So you think the more brothers and sisters you have then you get to be taller?" Rolls chocolate brown eyes and blinks intently "Well, yes Mom. Then I can be as tall as you."
Very cute how his mind works.
I have my days at work where I envy the stay at home moms. I have missed so many of the "firsts" in my sons life. Maybe I won't miss so many of them the second time around.