My Lord! I've seen some horribly behaved kids, but none of them were that bad. If I had acted like that when I was a kid, I would have gotten into so much trouble. I know for a fact, because my mom has told me, how she handled those situations. She said that when I was pretty young, able to understand language and all of that, we went into a store. I was about to freak out because I didn't get something that I wanted. Here's the turning point: She told me that we'd leave if I didn't behave.

I didn't behave, so guess what? We left.

So many parents think that they're doing the right thing by letting their kid throw a tantrum in the middle of a store aisle like no other, but in that situation, that's the wrong thing to do! At home, if the kid falls on the floor and screams, let him go at it; really -- It will be good for him because he'll learn that, hey, she's not going to give into the tantrums. However, when it's making other people uncomfortable (And there's no way that it can't) you leave. If it's a public establishment, save that learning experience for later and give them an entirely different one by saying, "You either behave or we'll leave."

Not long ago at wal-mart there was a kid, I swear he was ten years old, but he acted like he was about four. He and his mom were in the vegetable section. She's looking at stuff, obviously tuning him out. He's running back and forth across the thing from the cucumbers to the watermelon, over and over and over, screaming, (at the watermelon) "IT'S A GIANT CUCUMBER!!!" Screaming, literally. I thought about going up to the woman and asking her if she had ever considered parenting, but I kept that thought to myself.

The bottom line is this: If you're going to take your kids out, make sure they behave. There are different methods that need to be put in place OUTSIDE of the house. You can't pretend that the grocery store or a food joint is your living room, you just can't. Last time I checked, there were no old couples and college lovers in my living room.

How can these people actually do that?
Augh.

I can actually somewhat understand it in some situations. The mom / dad is tired, fed up, will then ignore the kid. But that doesn't make it any less rude.

Yeesh... sorry it messed up your dinner.  My deepest sympathies for the restaurant manager, too!  I'm more like you: you don't inconvenience others if your kids misbehave (but how they let it get to that point in the first place... yikes!) , you inconvenience yourself and get OUT of the public's eye, and *deal* with it.

Wow!  I can't believe they let their children act like that in a restraunt.  I have 3 small children, ages 3, 2 and 9 months, and I don't like being stuck in the house.  So, we do take our children to restraunts from time to time, but there's no way in heck, we'd ever let our children act like that.  I'm pretty sure that we wouldn't be taking them to any restraunts if they couldn't behave.  That's just insane!  And sending a 4 year old to the bathroom by herself when she still needs help wiping...hello??  what was she thinking?  And, I would have died of embarassment if my child stole a french fry off of someone's plate.  I admit, they have gotten away from me in public establishments, but I immediately caught them and demanded they stay with me or they'd be in trouble. 

ok, scary scary scary I have to honestly agree that it's a total reflection of the parents and not the kids fault.
My son who was 3 at the time tried to sit in the middle of walmart on his stomach and proceeded to kick and scream and throw a fit. Needless to say and I know that not all parents agree with spanking and let alone many of the parents that don't take it to the degree that social service has to be called are the ones that it does get called on. Besides, I do not nor will I stand for this behavior from my 3 year old or my 1 1/2 year old. I stood him up, cracked him on the bottom a good one and told him that it wasn't the place nor the time and it was appropriate behavior to be having a temper tantrum. He'd never done it before let alone surprise the heck out of me to see him do it in front of me let alone a store full of customers. I still can't believe that he did it, and I have to admit that since that he's never thrown "that" kind of fit again.

If my children acted like those chidlren that you described I honestly don't know what I would have done. I probably would have stood in the middle of the restaurant and appologized publicly for my childrens behavior. (even though I know my children would never act like that in public, seriously).

My son is 5 and my daughter is 17months, and if either one of them act up they're told once that we're leaving if they do it again. And if they do then we leave, we pay for what we do have in front of us and we get up and leave. I'm not about to put other customers out because my children do not want to cooperate with being told no, or whatever the case might be. I don't think it is fare to anyone around us. My children know that when they get home there is consequences if we leave a restaurant too. I'm not a perfect parent, but when I want you to listen to me then I want you to listen to me, be obedient.

It irks me no end that the rest of civilized society has to put up with crap like that just because morons have the right to bear children.  They pop 'em out, but they don't bother to raise them or teach them anything.

This is why I don't go out in public much these days.  After almost having my eardrums popped a couple of times by screaming brats (whose parents were ignoring the behaviour, I might add), my nerves just can't take it.

great post!! I agree, people need to make their kids behave in public!!

omgggggggggg, i can't believe the family acts like that in public! i thought i was a bad mom but this family is way outta control...

taking fry off of someone else's plate? very RUDE! very uncivilized. parents shoulda came over to apolize and teach the little girl and the little girl went to the bathroom alone??????????????? god gracious!  i feel bad for the kids... and those parents should be ashamed!

and stolen 4 fries? do the family SAY ANTYHING TO THE LITTLE GIRL AT ALL??????????????????

oh god I hate people like that. Its incredibly rude and it makes them look like bad parents most of the time.
I think the rule is that if its a public place where you sit down, if the kid starts a scene its better to just go and take them out till they've calmed down.
I know that if I ever acted that way around my mom she would have yanked me down so hard. I'm sure she would still do that!
Well right now I'm just remembering how my friend went to see Coraline one weekend. Granted, its a kids movie so she expects kids there, but even then you're suppose to teach kids to control themselves. Apparently a lady came in with a kid and a baby and the baby wouldn't stop crying. People waited an hour into the movie before asking her if she could take the baby outside and she just replied with "its a kids movie" and stayed there.
I know its not the exact same situation but jeebus, you can already see where its going.

Oh. My. Goodness.  That is ridiculous.  I posted on here a while back about a horrible experience we had taking our children out.  Well, just our daughter (she was about 18 months at the time).  She was tired and cranky and she threw a fit so I took her away from the table until she calmed down and then we came back.  We were already eating our food so when she started up again we immediately asked for the check and got out of there ASAP. 

The situation you described is insane.....why is that okay with the parents?  Good grief

I have two children myself, a 2 year old and a 6 year old.  We try not to go anywhere really fancy with the 2 year old, simply b/c at 2 they don' t have the patience to sit still during a the time it takes to place an order and wait on a meal. 

But as far as my six year old goes, he knows that if he misbehaves in a store or something such as that, we will take a trip to the bathroom, and it'll just end badly for him.  I have never had him go to a store with us and misbehave.  EVER.  Now, maybe I'm lucky and don't have much of a fit thrower but I like to chalk it up to my great parenting skills.(wouldn't you?) 

I believe that if you're child is acting up in a store or somewhere similar, like you said, its your responsibility to remedy the situation and get your child to behave.  If you know you're children can't sit down at a meal long enough, then don't go.  Sure it really hampers you're outting time, but don't make everyone else suffer because of it.  Go to a place that has enough going on that it will distract the child enough to keep them from getting antsy.

For example, like I said we don't go out to eat to nice places with my two year old.  That doesn't mean we don't go out, we just don't go out to really nice restaurants that don't have enough to distract her.  Instead we go to places like Golden Corral, where theres alot of people moving, a bunch of foods and ect.  Or we'll go to Cracker Barrell, theres a store at the beginning, coloring books and crayons, bisquits and ect, enough distraction that we can have a meal without worrying about her getting bored too fast. 

I think thats a good resolution ya know?

I don't think you'll get much hate mail, the only part that kind of bothered me was the 'hick' relation you put in your article.  I'm a proud southerner, a hick I guess you could say, but my kids do not act like that and I have never acted like that either. 

Other than that I agree with you whole heartedly.

jackie

If a stern look and a word of warning doesn't set them straight, we generally ask the child in question if they would like to go to the car and talk about it - where, as Daddy puts it, "there are no witnesses."  It's sort of my personal crusade to turn all of those "oh-no looks" when folks see a family with six children being seated nearby into respectful nods before dinner is over - it makes me feel like super-mom!  But the BEST is when we get a little old lady making her way across the restaurant to tell us what great kids we have .  And witnessing what you did would make me furious.  I would ask my husband to ask the manager to ask them to leave.  Most establishments reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.

Wow.  The moment that kid started to scream he should have been taken out of the restaurant.  If the screaming continued the whole family should have left.

We thought it was bad enough that when we went out to eat for our anniversary that a 5 year old kid with a pacifier was running around our table bumping into us....