Sunday, 15 February 2009
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My Children's Sleeping Arrangements - Advice Needed
In about 6-8 weeks, we'll be adding a fifth member to our family.
This brings our total of kids to three. We have a three-bedroom house. (Do you see where I'm going with this?)
Not everyone can have their own bedroom. I can assure you, Jonny and I will have our own bedroom, but that leaves two other people who have to double up. And I'm not sure how best to accomplish that.
My Plan A is to put Livie (age 5) and Millie (age 23 months, by the time the baby comes) in Livie's bed together. Livie has a double bed big enough for both of them.
However, Millie is still in her crib. I like having her in her crib because you lay her in there and she can't get out and has never tried to get out. She will lay there to go to sleep. And in the morning, she'll lay there until you go get her, all without crying (most of the time). The main problem, as I see it, is that if we put her in a bed, she can get out. And if she can get out, she will be unsupervised until we know she's up, and at her age and her curiosity level, that's a problem.
The only solution I can see is that we move Millie's entire crib into Livie's room, and buy another crib for our new baby.
But on the other hand (I think I'm running out of "other hands"), we took Livie out of her crib at 2 1/2, and she did fine, so at most we'd only need this arrangement for 6 months or so. And I'd hate to buy a second crib for only 6 months worth of usage, especially since this baby is our last child.
But, on yet another hand, Livie did fine at 2 1/2 because she had no siblings to play with yet, and she would come straight to our room if she got up. I can say with 99% certainty that Millie would do no such thing. She will immediately start playing and getting into mischief.
Maybe the solution is to buy a second monitor, and keep it up loud so that if Millie gets up we hear it. I'm just not sure.
And one other problem will be the transition stage. Though I've heard it only lasts about two weeks to getting the girls used to falling asleep together. It'll be like a sleepover for the first week, at least, and so I'm dreading that since I still have to get up and go to work the next day and Livie needs to be rested to do well in school. Maybe Spring Break would be a good time to transition them since the baby isn't due until two weeks after Spring Break.
Anyone have any advice for getting kids to start sleeping together? Any advice for taking a child out of a crib a little earlier than you'd like?
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Comments (16)
what is the option of using a pack n play for baby the first six months, or at least until you have a little more time to get Millie transitioned with big sister?
We also live in a 3 bedroom home and are expecting baby number three...we are resorting to using a pack n play simply because the crib was too large to fit into the room with a bed for big sister, too. good luck to you, whatever you decide!
you could let the older two girls share a room and put a gate up at the doorway so the younger one couldnt get out. You could also add the baby monitor as you mentioned. You may as well go ahead and give the crib to the baby because the younger one doesnt have much longer in the crib anyways.. and shes having to transition to a new room. you should go ahead and make all the adjustments at once. im sure she will do fine.
Are you actually going to use the large crib for the newborn baby? I always found that we rarely used the crib for the newborn - the baby usually slept with us, or in the cradle or the packnplay/playpen, for at least the first four months. That would be enough time to transition Millie from crib to bed with her sister. I say, if she isn't climbing out of the crib yet, take advantage of that luxury! Two of mine were climbers and nothing would keep them contained from 18 months on...
@musicmom60@xanga - I am in a similar situation...I have a 32 month old who is still in a crib and a 4 month old who is in a porta-crib that has an inlay of sorts that is a bassinet. Soon we'll take the inlay out so it will be more crib-like when the baby starts sitting up. Hopefully in about 3 or 4 months when the little one is out growing the porta-crib the older one will be able to handle a big bed. At the moment, she couldn't handle the lack physical boundries the crib provides- she'd be all over the place!
As for the transition, start your routine a little earlier in the evening so that any snags that need to be worked out are fixed before everyone is overly tired and crabby, and so no (or minimal) sleep is lost.
Good luck- I hope it goes well for you!
I had my oldest out of his crib at 18 months because his new brother was 3 months old and needing to move out of the bassinet in our room. I then had my second out of his crib at 20 months because his baby sister was due in 2 months. They also share a room, but they shared, even when Logan was still in the crib. Yes, it was like a party when we first moved him to his big bed, and he could get up and play with his brother. We just started bedtime routine 30 minutes earlier, giving them time to play some. Also, we put a gate in the doorway, with both of them when transitioning. That way, they they woke up, they had to call me to come get them, and couldn't get into mischief while I slept away. Hope some of that helps you. Good luck!
I second the pack and play option. You can keep the baby in your room in a pack in play till the other one is older and ready to be out of the crib.
buy a bigger house! prices are great, everyone's selling these days.
just kidding...
no, SERIOUSLY, i think if i was theoretically in your situation, i might try putting the younger one in bed with the older one for a "trial run." if it doesn't go well, perhaps you could keep the new baby in a pack-n-play at first - usually babies sleep near their parents at first anyway, don't know how you'll do it for your personal situation. that could buy you time & you wouldn't have to buy another crib. i'm not a mother, so i'm just thinking... but those are my thoughts!
and i JUST read the other comments and realized others are thinking the same thing. i'm just that smart.
(again, just kidding.)
First thing I would say is that if the two older will be sharing a room, definitely move them in together before baby is born so that big sister doesn't feel like she's being displaced by the new little one!
The idea of a gate is good, since if she hasn't tried to climb out of the crib, she probably won't try to climb over the gate! And then you can get her adjusted to new bed and new room all at the same time. And have the crib for the baby when the time comes.....
Congrats on the little one on the way!! We are thinking about the whole sleeping thing too, but we're just having our 2nd one in May. We do have a gate up at the hallway doorway so my daughter can only stay in her room, or come into ours. She just turned 2 and is still in her crib, has never tried to get out either. My sister just had a baby in July so we'll be borrowing the bassinet that they used for a few months. My daughter's crib is a convertible one so it'll just be changed to a toddler bed or....we will just buy a full size mattress to put on the floor (since her bed will one day be a full size bed). So maybe that would work for you....a safety gate in the doorway or a bassinet for the baby?? Good luck with everything!
I wouldn't move the crib to the new room, then take it away to give to the baby. If Millie is already having to deal with no longer being the baby, and being displaced from her room by the new baby, the last thing she needs is to get hit again with having to give the new baby her bed, too. If the crib never leaves the baby room, then it's the "baby bed" in the "baby room", and Millie gets to graduate to the "big girl room" and be a "big girl". If she takes her bed with her, then she's still a baby who just had to give her room up to a new baby, and eventually she'll have to give her bed to this new baby too. I think making her proud to be a "big girl" and moving her to a "big girl bed" all at once will be a positive transition for her, rather than a negative one that will engender negative feelings toward her new sibling. And the sooner you make the change, the longer she'll have to get used to it before the new baby arrives. Also, letting the baby room sit empty for a few weeks before a new occupant takes it over will make it feel much more like a voluntary move than an eviction.
What about trying out the new sleeping arrangement only during naps at first? Then the transition is more gradual. I also agree with those who have mentioned not using the crib in the new room.
i would super child-proof livie's room and let them sleep together, and buy one of those things you put on the door handles to keep children from opening doors. then make sure you close the door every night. that way, if millie wakes up, she can play safely within that room until you go and open the door, and explain to livie the importance of the door staying closed while they are in there at night/early morning/etc. good luck!
talk to livie about playing with millie in the morning. they'll be in the same bed, so they'll wake each other up when they get up in the morning, and if you even just gave livie the job of helping millie get dressed everyday then it would keep them both out of trouble for a while until you got up, it would help livie feel more responsible which is good for self-esteem, it would help her get better practice with buttons and zippers and such, and it would help the girls bond. most big sisters tend to be busybodies anyway, so livie would probably be quick to inform you if her sister was getting into mischief when you weren't around. my sister was looking after 4 little kids by the time she was 7, so i really don't think livie will have too many problems with one over the span of a morning.
I second the pack'n play.. We are planning on using it with our baby, a 2 month old son. I do use a basinett at this time. as he did not want to sleep in the pack 'n play, too open. So try a basinett for the first several months, beside your bed, and slowly transition Millie to a big girl bed.. That will give her time to get used to the idea of having a baby around, and you might be able to avoid repercussions! I wish I would have done it when I was in your shoes..
Our children are 9yrs., 6yrs., 5 yrs. and now 2 months. When we had our, now 5 & 6 yr olds, there were jealousy problems. There were teeth marks on the 5yr. old! But today they are the best of buds!
Hope everything works out.. Blessings on your new little one.
There are several different options you could go with. Baby #3 could stay in a bassinett in your room for several months, while #2 stays in crib and transitions slowly to #1's room. Or childproof the room and put a childproof handle on the door so that #1 and #2 can get up and play in the morning without harming themselves. I agree you probably want a monitor in there if you move #2 in with #1. As far as boundaries for the crib vs the bed, I suggest a bedrail. My parents had one when I was a kid... it just slid in between the mattress and the box spring and folded up at night. It was portable, so we could take it to granma's house and not have to worry about me falling out of the bed. I loved that thing. Best of luck to you!