Having PCOS, and knowing that I wanted a child so badly, there was a time when I thought I would do anything to have a child.  I even once believed that I was pregnant with all the psycho-sematic symptoms that go with it.  I tried metformin which was supposed to help me ovulate, but it didn't.  I then tried clomid, but that didn't work either.  Next, I tried HCG shots, which did work, but about the time they began working I got the strongest feeling that the Lord wanted me to trust Him.  So, I stopped taking the shots.  After a couple of years, I finally gave up and surrendered to the Lord.  I told the Lord that if it wasn't His will for me to have children, then I would accept that.  And...I meant it.  Three months after this, I was pregnant.  Now, six years later, I long for another child, but I know that the Lord is the one who opens and shuts the womb.  It was seemingly impossible for me to have a child, and yet in God's timing, I was granted one.  If it is His will for me to bear another, I know I will.  I hope so.  But if not, I pray that the Lord will open the door for us to be able to adopt.  There are so many children already in the world that need loving homes, and families that will nurture them and lead them to Christ.  Until that day comes, I continue to seek the Lord for wisdom to train the child He has given me to love and serve Jesus.  In all it is about His will and His alone. 

I would become a foster parent and/or adopt before I would go to medical extremes.  There are so many children in the world, especially ones with special needs that need homes, it seems a shame that people feel a need to spend so much  money on alternative conception than alternatives to conception.  As for wait times, there are thousands of children up for adoption from the state with no wait times, very low adoption fees, and plenty of state aid to help cover the costs of raising the children with special needs...something birth parents can't get access to should they choose to keep their children with special needs. 

While I understand the longing to have children, I have never understood the obession with NOT adopting.   How much more of an emotional  roller coaster can it be than hormone injections, fertility drugs, and failed attempts at IVF?  I am not judging...I  just don't understand it. 

@LadyLibellule@xanga - baby hoarding, that's definitely what I would consider her. I also agree with you about spending thousands of dollars for a biological kid when there's so many other kids that need families.

I think that medicine has gone too far. I mean.. the doctor that implanted all those eggs for that woman who is single, unemployed, and already has 6 kids.. Unethical much? Honestly, I keep hoping that the state steps in, see's this.. sees that the woman is baby obsessed, already has 6 kids and such & sees that the state of CA is going to be footing the bill for every last one of those kids.. Maybe there's a way they can remove them from her custody and get them adopted. Poor kids. Either way, not only medicine, I think people are going too far too, for example, the Duggar's and their 18 kids.

Its crazy now a days. The average family is going from 2.5 kids to dozens, yet the economy is supposed to be going downhill.

I've always wanted to be a mom.  And now that I have 2 beautiful girls, if someone told me I couldn't have anymore children, I would be devistated.  My sister has described a feeling of completeness after having her second.  That hasn't come to me yet, and my husband agrees (he jokes cheeper by the dozen, but I'm thinking 5 max)  At this point, since I do have two kids if I couldn't have more, I think I would do the foster parent thing, and probably adopt. 

As for being a surrogate, I would do it in a heart beat (once I'm done having my own).  I loved every minute of being pregnant.  I even loved every minute of giving birth.  (You know if the book the Giver, how everyone has a job- I'd be the woman who was impregnanted and gave birth.)  I'm certain there would still be that connection, even if I knew that biologically the child wasn't mine.  And I know it would break my heart to see that baby be put into someone else's arms.  But I think seeing the look on that someone else's face- the same look I had when I held my girls for the first time- would be well worth the pain of letting go.  Afterall, every parent has to let go of their child at some point.  So as much as I may feel like the child is my own, seeing them leave to go to the arms of another loving parent would ease the pain, I'm sure?  And that would be so worth it.

@sidewayslife@xanga - I can relate to that.  I used to live in the same building as a couple who were trying unsuccessfully to get pregnant.  I'd hear him beat the crap out of her and wonder what kind of person is she wanting to bring a child into that kind of home.  Did she think having a child would fix it?  He already had 2 kids.  One he had custody of, and the other he was fighting for.  I know that he abused his power (he was a cop) to get his kids.  What kind of mom was she going to be bringing a child into that?  That was the only time in my life I prayed to God someone wouldn't get pregnant.  Once she had a child, she'd never be able to get away from him.....

I am a mom, so I know what it's like to bring a child into the world. It's wonderful, but it does not make me more special or on a higher pedestal than those who cannot bear children. I would never go to great lengths to have a child. I said that before having a baby, and I still feel that way. I would either build a happy life without children, or, if I have a longing for children and cannot conceive, I would adopt. I wouldn't want to spend thousands of dollars on unnatural procedures when that money could be spent to welcome an unwanted child in my home.
 That's just my opinion- I have nothing against people who try fertility drugs or IVF. This is just stating what I would do.

The incident that has started this focus on fertility, maybe even its damning, was because of one woman and one doctor who both made bad choices. I think one or two bad apples have spoiled fertility treatments for the bunch.

I think fertility treatments offer something incredibly wonderful for loving couples who otherwise would not be able have children. I've had several friends complete their families this way. It's been a blessing for them and one not devoid of God in the least bit. 

 My husband works with children, advocates for them, protects them. I spent my life raising other people's children before having my first. We have a very loving and stable home. All we want, as a family, is to have a baby together as the final piece in our union. It is my dream to experience pregnancy with my husband and raise an child from infancy with him, an experience we have not shared together. 

I also think that many do understand what exactly goes into those treatments. Generally, they don't just go straight to plopping fertilized eggs in your uterus. There is a lot of testing involved, and like with any other medical procedure, the less invasive methods are tried first.

For us, adoption is an option if all else fails.

Sounds like you and I have similar stories.  When my husband and I got married, I knew that he had been told by two different doctors that he would never father any more children (he has a son from a previous marriage).  I was 19 at the time.  I went into this marriage eyes wide open, and had decided that I would not worry about children immediately.  If I hit mid-20's or 30 and we really wanted a baby and still didn't have one, then we might consider alternatives.  As it turned out, I got pregnant two months after we were married, and now, six kids later, we've decided that we're really done.

I have wondered fleetingly from time to time how things might have been different if we had waited a while before we started having kids and had a couple of years to ourselves.  But I knew from the beginning that I could never live with myself if we had used birth control for a few years, then been unable to conceive even with treatments.  How could I have lived with the thought that I may have given up my only chance to have a child?

So, even though there are times when I think about how nice a couple of years alone with him would have been, I know we would never have traded even one of our kids for it.  And if I had the decision to make over again, I wouldn't change it at all.

The fact that you were worried at the age of 20, let's me know i am not the only one. I am 20 and live in a city where the rate of young mothers is very high. i mean 15 yr old YOUNG. In August 08 i got pregnant to then lose it sept 30th 08 and i havent been able to conceive to this day. It disgusts me to see families like the Duggars and that cali lady. When i am here only wanting ONE at the moment. I dont think i could adopt at this point but if i were much older, i would definitely look into doing that. I am also pro-life! :)

Adoption is an option!  I have always wanted to adopt but didn't think it would be an option because it cost so much but I have found that isn't true!  If you go through your state then the adoption wouldn't necessarily cost much more than a physical, a tb test, and the cost of the attorney (this all depends on your state and what they desire to charge).  Yes, there is the emotional rollercoaster but I remember being on an emotional rollercoaster when I was pregnant with my natural born children.  Adopting is worth the effort it takes and after having the child in your life you will find that you couldn't even imagine what life would be without that child.  We have found this to be the case for us!  Yes, I do believe that adoption is worth the effort and we would do it all over again!

I would love to be a surrogate for someone, but I doubt they would take me, since I have two blood clotting disorders.  What a beautiful gift though!

You never know how far you will go until you are put into that position.

We are low fertility from both sides so my husband and I aren't holding our breath on having biological children. Even though we know medical intervention would up our chances, truthfully, we don't see the sense in investing that much time and money and effort when we aren't promised the outcome we want. We want to be parents, not pregnant. That's why we planned on adopting...until three months ago when we got a phone call from a family member and ended up adopting her two children. So now we have a 13 month old and a 2.5 year old and I certainly can't imagine going through the mess of fertility drugs now!