Friday, 06 February 2009

• Where I Learned To Be A Mom

  
  

  
  "Where did you learn that?" my mother questioned after finding out I had lied to the store clerk about losing coins in the gum machine.
  
  "Keith," I lied again, knowing it might be better to place the blame on an older brother rather than take the blame for thinking up such an intelligent scheme. The only thing I hadn't counted on was Mom inquiring where I had gotten the money.
  
  Some things we think of on our own (although the seed has to be planted), while most everything we learn comes from the outside.
  
  Parenting is something I learned from observing my mother. When I actually had children, there was plenty of advice she would offer in conversation. Still ingrained in me was what I experienced while growing up. I heard myself repeating the same things, reacting the same way or seeking answers from the same God.
  
  Certainly, I am not implying that I turned out to be "as good" of a mom as I had. I just know that its good to have an example to follow.
  
  One of her best lessons was that you never stop learning, growing or improving, unless you choose to stop. An old Amy Grant song expressed, "You can never stop growing or you'll start to die," and I have held onto that.
  
  As my mother became a grandmother, she was allowed the occasional "as I say, not as I did" warning. After all, she was able to see what didn't work. The ability to learn from her mistakes was carried on.
  
  At the same time, I have still made plenty of my own blunders. One of the most valuable lessons was that she was able to admit missteps and ask forgiveness.
  
  Mom has been out of my reach for a few years. When she passed away at the beginning of this month, I had already been missing her. I don't remember our last phone call where I could understand what she was saying, or that there was no doubt about what she was wanting me to know.
  
  I am so blessed to have been chosen by God to be her daughter. My hope and prayer is that my children will experience her blessing through me.
  
  Who or what has had the greatest influence on your parenting abilities? How has being your mother's child molded you?

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