Friday, 06 February 2009
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The Name Game -How Do You Play It?
Slowly but surely, the news is spreading among our friends and family that we are expecting a girl (according to the Ultrasound tech and radiologist, not to mention Target's Magic 8 ball). Their first reaction is one of excitement. It seems everyone was rooting for a girl since we already have a boy. My theory is that humans are just made to embrace balance like that. Their next impulse is to ask us if we have a name picked out. Of course, they have been asking that ever since we announced the news that we were expecting but their curiosity seems to have grown in recent weeks.
We do have a short list of names we love for the first name. The middle name has been firmly set for years now, just in case we ever did have a girl. The thing is, I don't really want to share my names for a multitude of reasons.
I'm a little superstitious. In some cultures, names are not chosen for days or even months after a baby is born out of concern that death will find the child easier with a name. I'm not that superstitious, but I do tend to play things a little close to the chest. I'm also not one for sharing. When it comes to picking names, I like to think I choose some pretty great ones.
Of course, this must be another one of those delusional thoughts most parents have. Let's face it, we all want to think we know the most, what is best, and that we are just the most brilliant parents ever....even if we never admit it out loud.
Anyway, I would be more than a little miffed if I spent months or years coming up with what I think it is the most perfect and unique name ever and then someone I shared it with beat me to the punch and used that name. Yet another reason is that once you start discussing names, everyone wants to weigh in. More than a couple of our friends and family are actually campaigning for us to name our baby after them. A few are even more snotty than we are and feel a need to suggest their favorite names as though they are the ones having the baby. Finally, the name my husband and I have chosen is special to us and keeping it to ourselves is just one of those ties that bind.
Rest assured, we have a name and we think it is a pretty darn fantastic name. It is sure to rattle a few cages within my uber conservative christian family (which only makes me like the name more). It is not in the top 100 most popular names which means there aren't likely to be 5 other girls in my daughter's classes. At the same time, it isn't so uncommon that one would mistake us for bat poop crazy celebrities gunning for our kid to get the crud beat out of her for having such a weird name. Those are all the hints anyone is going to get out of me.
Do you share your favorite baby names or do you like to keep everyone guessing?
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- From: mamaelephant
- Name: mamaelephant
- About Me: Hi! I am Mama Elephant and I am both a college student and SAHM to a mischievous teenage son, who happens to have Autism, and an infant daughter. It is a practice in time management. Raising a child with special needs presents challenges disguised as impossibilities as well as rewards beyond the imagination and I write about both.
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Comments (22)
Mine change... I don't think I'll be able to pick out names until I'm pregnant/have the kid.
I don't tell people my baby names!! We found out we were having a girl and had the name picked out very quickly. We didn't tell anyone the gender of the baby so obviously we didn't tell the name either. I also would be quite annoyed if I told people the name and then someone would "steal" it!!
We share them. However, we do like to tease people.
If we have a girl next we will tell everyone its going to be D'Shaquakneequawah T'Shayeah Thomas. The spelling and middle name changes everytime. Not that we are pregnant or anything. We have just been ordered by my mom to work on giving her a granddaughter.
With my first child I shared with everyone the name I liked and the name my husband loved. I was hoping for Sophia Rose and he was set on Phoenix Rose. Of course I would let him name her the name he really loved but it was hard when I would tell people her possible name and they had something bad to say about it.
This time around we have a name picked out if it is a girl and a first name picked out if it is a boy. We will probably share with everyone again but this time I know it doesn't matter what anyone says.
We shared ours, though Tim found himself wishing he hadn't... I had had "Megan Elizabeth" picked out "just in case...one day..." for the last 8 years. Everybody liked it. Heck, one of my old managers' wife is "Magen Elizabeth". (I liked the "common" factor in a world where everyone seems to be trying so hard to be unique. Megan is #97 and Elizabeth 18th on the popular list 2008.)
Tim, on the other hand, liked "Alistair" in case of a boy. Everyone he worked with (men with names like "George", "John" and "Tom") thought a boy would be teased and called "Alice" and we would be cruel to name a son that. He caught so much grief over it that, if I had to do over again, I'd just smile, say we're not sure yet, and keep smiling through the stream of unwanted advice...you find yourself doing that quite often anyway while pregnant!
I got so frustrated with naming our kids because of people's comments. It was horrendous.
so, tell us what you picked, and we'll tell you if it's any good
seriously, I always tell once we've decided. I don't worry about anyone else using it, because we pick such odd names that no one else wants them. Although, with my second boy my mother drove me so nuts asking before we had decided that I finally told her that we weren't going to decide until he was born, and we didn't discuss it again until after I had him. (We already had a short list). When he was born, I was holding him and looked at his daddy and said "What's this boy's name Dad?" and he said "Looks like a Duncan to me." So, how 'bout you try my tactic and tell everyone that asks that you got so tired of people asking and talking about it that you decided not to pick until she's born?
I picked my son's name from watching Highlander when I was 7 months pregnant. I had my heart set on William and after watching that movie I switched to Connor. His middle name is my dad and brother's middle name. So Connor (means wise aid) Morgan (from the edge of the sea). I tell him that God sent him to help me from a place far, far away. He laughs and me and says I'm a goober.
@filtered_sunlight - "and keep smiling through the stream of unwanted advice...you find yourself doing that quite often anyway while pregnant!
"
Too true!! Maybe we should all start using a set of those earplugs on a string to tie up the packages on all the baby shower gifts we give to friends.
@lilbit@xanga - Connor Morgan - I like that a lot. Very nice.
This family simply doesn't share names before the baby is born. Apparently the first couple babies names were shared and teased about and the names were therefore changed. Now, everyone just has to wait. We still try (though not seriously) to get the names out of whoever happens to be pregnant....but nobody actually thinks it'll happen. In some ways I found it tough to keep it a secret. But it was also fun and I will do that again.
We really had a hard time picking a boys' name. Almost every name I mentioned to my husband recieved some between "eh" and "no". Finally we came up with one! (well, it was actually with months to spare...but after we decided we didn't dare try to change it). We have a girl's name that we have had picked out for some time. I really hope we get to use it someday!
@Erika_Steele@xanga - hahahaha - rofl!! that great! When I was pregnant with my 3rd daughter I told my dad that we were going to name her Shekine Aglory (all our girls have SA initials) -- he didn't seem to like it much
We told people with our first child - and we were so mad afterward! People kept referring to our baby by name before she as born and I just really didn't like that. Needless to say, with baby #2 we kept our choice a secret!
The part about your family wanting you to name the baby after them made me laugh. Almost all of my uncles and cousins agreed to give us $50 if we named our son after them. We ended up using one of their names (because it was my grandfather's name) and the person did give us $50. It was funny!
I didnt share my sons name until the day he was born, because the name Malakai always seems to be associated with the movie Children of the Corn or somethin like that, and really I didnt want to hear anyones crap on it. And for the first couple months of his life no one would call him by his first name, only his middle name because they didnt like it.
When I was adopting my daughter I shared her name because I wanted the advice.
But I think if I have another baby, I wont share the name again until it arrives, specially since the names I like people always seem to have somethin to say about them and its not worth hearing about it the whole pregnancy.
@Meahsmom@xanga - Or better yet... The new generation shower gift: the iPod. Headphones for during pregnancy/tuning out the constant stream of advice and a docking station with speakers for after the baby's born and you can't remember the lyrics to the lulabies! Marketing genius!
We share a few ideas with people to see what they think but we hadn't even really decided until he was born - he is Harrison and I love it. Baby no 2 due in 2 weeks and we have no idea !!!!!!!! We don't know the sex either - really struggling for a boys name - any suggestions!!!!??
I always tell. I like being able to call my baby by its name while it is still in my womb. I HATE calling a baby "it".
And if people don't like the names I pick out I say, "Guess what? My baby, my choice" and figure they'll get used to it once the baby is here and named. :) My brother is ALWAYS commenting on names I have picked out - there is always something wrong with them - but he can't say much anymore because his daughter's middle name is horrendous and he knows it. Ha!
We had the hardest time trying to figure out a name for Sean... we had his middle name picked out (London) for the longest time... since we found out I was pregnant. I don't think we agreed on a name for him until two months before I was due... so a lot of people were in the dark, because we were, lol.
@filtered_sunlight - I don't think my baby shower budget could handle that! But you should sell your idea to the ipod folks, then you could sponsor a really great momaroo giveaway!
I know someone who had the perfect name picked for a daughter if she ever had one, she just found out she was pregnant again, and her cousin and his wife were due in about a month. The cousins wife (and everyone) else kept asking what names she had picked out, and saying "don't worry, I won't steal your name"
Yeah, she stole it, using he excuse that when she heard it she just fell in love with it and since she was having such a hard time coming up with anything it was okay to steal it, and that if my friend had a girl there could be two kids with the same first and middle name in the family. My friend had a boy.
So no, I don't generally tell anyone the names I have picked out for any children I may one day have because I have fairly unique names picked, although they seem to be popping up here and there in pop culture which means by the time I have kids everyone may be naming them what I have picked out.
We did not share the names of our babies. Sometimes, we would share the names we were thinking about , but never the final decision. And usually the ones we shared were not the name we chose officially. With my first, I immediately got tired of people's opinions on names, and decided right away that I wasn't sharing the one we chose. People can be very rude and think you actually care whether they once knew someone with that name and he was bad/mean/ugly, etc. Yeah, because that matters. :) And besides, since we did share the baby's gender, it is very fun to keep something a secret.
I once shared our favorite baby (girl) name with a friend of mine who was pregnant with a girl and who has similar taste in names. Thank goodness she didn't choose that one! Hubby and I are also keeping our cards close to our chest - we have a boy now, but who knows? We may still use that name next time!
Oh, and we didn't even find out the sex when I was pregnant (asked the ultrasound technician to "hide" it)! We wanted it to be a surprise. Still, I'm not sure what I'll do next time... I might get too curious!