I figure everyone has a right to their own style of parenting... the only one not right is the one that may be neglect or abuse of the child, but those definitions vary per person. Most of us should just keep our opinions to ourselves and stop being negative towards each other as we all have our parenting styles and doing our best with either what we have or do not have. Some just want to make them selves feel better by degrading others about their skill, others I think are just looking for an argument, and some want to force their thoughts and ideas on other becausue they are not accepting of anyone elses'. Its time to grow up and raise our children to have good morals and stop bashing and fighting on who's way is better. None are better than the next, just different.

I think it's human nature. I can't tell you how many times I've seen people here, other web sites, and in "real" life preach not to judge and then turn around 5 minutes later and make a judgement...some more harsh than others.

I got the opposite of the epi-vs-natural preaching...it seems everyone I knew thought my experience would be so much better if I just took the drugs. "You can just sit back and enjoy your baby!" I was told and I did, too,,,without drugs.

So then you breastfeed. Only, if your happen to have a baby with a "tight suck" or just one that doesn't want to latch properly and you end up pumping? The world is going to come to an end! ZOMG! You should be putting that baby on the boob! Pain? Who cares! BOOB! BOOB! BOOB! A "friend" actually had the nerve to remark on the fact that I went through labor without pain meds but I was complaining about sore nipples... Uhm, labor pain ends, eventually. The more you try to latch a baby that's not latching properly on to sore nipples? The more and longer it hurts. I can see why so many hang up their nursing bras in favor of a canister of Isomil!

Most of us have a few insecurities and when it comes to motherhood, it is just amplified.  When someone says, "I did what I think is best for my family"...we should just accept it and not take it as an assault on our own parenting skills if we did something different.  It shouldn't matter to us whether someone bottle feeds or breast feeds and if one's child is vaccinated, an unvaccinated child shouldn't be a threat.  This is especially true since getting around state laws and public education is getting harder and harder.

It doesn't stop at feeding, vaccines, working or staying home.  Should a child have a tantrum in public, there are people lining up to mom and dad to give dirty looks, glares, and opinions on how to discipline said child.  Should a parent have a child with special needs, forget about it...few things we do meet with the approval of the uninitiated and for all I know, the opposite is true as well.

The fact is, there is very little support amongst parents.  It is as if each time someone does something differently, it is an affront to others or the others feel a need to defend their own decisions.  Maybe some people just get their rocks off or improve their own fragile self esteem by pointing out everything they thing everyone else is doing wrong. 

Wouldn't it be nice if we could all just say...we are all in this together and while you may do it differently than me, we can at least respect each other's rights to do it differently. 

I agree with you on there being certain cliques of Mom's that think there is a set guidline of rules that make you a "good Mom". I agree that there are many that are judgmental, but it also seemed like this post was a little judgmental.

"Yet the hypocrisy seems to be that many of these same people who agree
with the experts on the benefits of breastfeeding, turn a blind eye to
the well-documented benefits of childhood vaccinations." So if you choose other vaccination routes for your child you aren't a good parent.....

Natural Childbirthing advocates are judgemental and SAHM's spend 8 hours online while their kids do what exactly? But the working Mom is completely focused on her children the minute she steps in the door?

 It doesn't seem as if you've equally painted a picture of the 2 sides of the story. What about the woman who is harassed and interferred with or told she can only labor the way the hospital will allow her to? Or the working Mom who is actually escaping her own children?

I'm all about seeing both sides of any store and have many friends that speckle the spread sheet in terms of parenting styles and practices. This post was obviously not written in support of all Moms but to those choosing the "correct" parenting style according to Nurse Jenna.

@Tavia_n_Jones@xanga -@SarahAriella@xanga -  While I understand what you are saying, what I was trying to counter was the predominate views that expressed here on this site.  That is actually what I do in most of my posts....present the other side, so to speak.  I actually DO think natural childbirth is a great idea, but not to the extent that most people here do, who do not understand when the contrary may be beneficial for some people.  I DO think breastfeeding has been shown to have a lot of benefits for a baby and the mother, but I never look down on a mother who has chosen to bottle feed.  There are a lot of reasons she may have made this choice.  I wrote from the perspective I did to provide the alternative view, not to present my own.  Perhaps I should have made that more clear.  As for vaccinations, well....I do have a very strong opinion on that.  It does not make one a bad mother to not vaccinate her child, but I do believe it is a misinformed choice.  This is not because of personal dogma, but longstanding historical public health outcomes, and a plethora of recent scientific studies.

I am honestly not surprised at how moms treat each other.  Women in general don't treat each other well and it doesn't start when we become mothers either.  Look at school age girls.  They will group together and pick on the others that they don't like for a wide rage of reasons from clothes to hair to the way someone looked at them that day.  It is not a shock in our quest for absolute rightness as adults and mothers we group together in our comfort zones and pick on the other groups of mothers.  There are many times in my life where I wished that I were man.  Of course it could be a case of the grass is always greener on the other side but they don't seem to have the issues of ripping each other apart that we as women do.  I am no mother of the year.  I am human and of course have made mistakes in raising my kids.  It is a learning process and no one comes into it an expert.  It is my hope that one day I have done well enough that both of my boys grow up to become great men, productive in society, and not in trouble with the law.

I believe that alot of the problems with this issue of judgmental-ness (is that a word) is the fact that everything is based on opinions.  "It's my opinion that vaccinating is best"  "It's my opinion that working outside the home is best"  "it's my opinion that breastfeeding won't work" .................

I agree that there are no PERFECT choices - and that as humans, we all fail to some degree in our parenting decisions.  However ......when it comes to the topics brought up here -- how to birth, whether or not to breastfeed or vacccinate, whether or not to be a SAHM or be a "working" mom (I put that in quotations because I don't want someone accusing me that SAHM's don't work!    ) ........these decisions should be made based on evidence.  Too often I hear "well, it was good enough for my mom/sister/friend so it's good enough for me"   or  "I turned out alright"   or  "that's the way it's always been" ............  we need to EDUCATE ourselves on BOTH sides of the equation.   What are the risks and benefits??   We need to gather information - look at the pros and cons, and then make an informed decision.   I fear that many parenting decisions aren't based on education - Ithink alot of it is based on fear/the norm/etc.

For instance - vaccinations.  Nurse Jenna says she has a strong opinion on this subject and cites many recent studies.   A mom who is anti-vaccination or choosing to vaccinate other ways has probably done a tonne of research to come to her decision!  Whereas moms who do vaccinate just do so "because my doctor told me to".  Whether vaccinating is good or not ---- who's doing the research?  who's educating themselves??     Same with the volatile topic of circumcision.  Don't circumcise jsut becaause the boy's father is circumcised -- that's a silly reason.   (oops - was I judgmental????) ........educate yourself on the risks and benefits.   Know why it's done, and why its' not done.  Then make an informed decision knowing the info.   Same can be said for natural childbirthing versus medicated births .........research!!!   Know for YOURSELF why you choose why you choose - and then when someone jumps at you for your choice, you can back up your choices credibly.

"If you don't know your options, you don't have any."