Wednesday, 14 January 2009
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You Committed Adultery So Give Me Back My Kidney!
Guest post submitted by the_prestigiator
Dr. Richard Batista is your typical man undergoing a divorce. The only thing differentiating his case from other divorce proceedings is that...
He wants his kidney back from his soon to be former wife! He even held a press conference giving her the option of either paying him 1.5 million dollars or returning the kidney itself.
There are more details here but according to the man's attorney, Batista is devastated because he claims his wife (since 1990) Dawnell cheated on him. He claims he has been very hurt and humiliated by her actions. Dawnell is denying her soon to be ex-husband's accusations stating that he is controlling and obsessed.
Now, I've never suffered a divorce (nor have I ever been married for that matter) but I do think Batista's demand is absurd. What is his wife supposed to do? Cut the kidney out of her body and hand it over to him? Or seeing that he's a surgeon at Nassau University Medical Center, maybe he can do her the honors?
For me, it gets even more disgusting when I read that these two are parents to three children, ages 8, 11, and 14. I personally think Batista is being selfish for seeking such twisted retribution and for trying to hurt the mother of his children. Does he think that he'll get the kidney and everything will be okey-dokey? This woman has had three kidney transplants according to the article and her husband gave her his after one of her pregnancies resulted in a failed kidney.
One of my friends claims that Batista is sound in his demands. His wife cheated on him (although that maybe isn't true) and proved that she is an "ungrateful wrench." I don't see eye to eye with my friend on this matter. It is unethical to demand back a body organ that you willing donated to someone in need of it. Moreover, US law states that an organ donation is a gift, not a commodity.
If you were ever breaking up or splitting with someone would you demand your things back? Would you do so if your significant other commited adultery? What are your thoughts on this "give me back my kidney"case?
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- From: The_Prestigiator@xanga
- About Me: I ramble. I don't snore. I love ice cream. Ciao.
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Comments (125)
I can understand how hurt he is having been cheated on by my ex-husband, but no I would not demand anything back that I have given or "donated". It is not "morally" correct either, just has the cheating is not. He has a right to be hurt and there is more to this story than meets the eye. He needs to leave the kidney thing alone, it will get him nowhere fast. He will not win this one as he "donated" his kidney to saving his wife. Above and beyond past transgressions, he needs to let go and move on and find someone that will not "cheat" and be happy. He is not the first person to be cheated on. It has been going on since man was first around. Grow up, get the divorce, and move on.
I think it's ridiculous. It's illegal to sell or buy organs, right? So isn't this, in essence, what she would be doing if she paid him 1.5 million dollars to keep the kidney?
@TashaDW_18@xanga - Absolutely. His whole case is bogus.
If you actually look into the story further, you'll find that the husband is actually looking for the value of the kidney ($1.5 million) as it's not realistic to ask for the kidney back. Perhaps you and the people commenting above should get more of the story before making conclusions.
I understand him being hurt. I'm sure he doesn't actually want the kidney back. He is agree at her and trying to hurt her. No way will this go more than 2 seconds in a court room (if it even goes there). When you donate or GIVE someone an organ that is it. You're claim to it is gone.
Mr. Batista need to act like an adult and responsible father. Think of what those poor kids will have to endure the rest of their lives.
I actually feel pretty sympathetic for the guy. He tried very hard to make his marriage work for years and giving his wife a kidney was intended to be a gesture of love indicating that he would stand by her forever. She's denying that she cheated, but I tend to believe him more than her. He doesn't have much to gain from all the publicity...he's already very wealthy. According to him, after his wife regained her health, she began spending more and more time away from home and with her physical therapist which eventually led to the affair. Apparently when SHE filed for divorce, she took the kids and is now refusing to let him see them, which is why he went public with the case. This IS all about the kids, people.
In one of the articles I read, there was something about their marriage being on shaky ground before he gave her the kidney. He knew that and he gave it to her anyway. Asking for it back seems silly and petty. Think of the message he's sending to his daughters! Basically, it's: "I want your mother dead". Nice dad, eh?
There's no way she can "give back" the kidney. I think they're looking for monetary compensation. Still, the guy sounds like a bit of a prick. I mean, he gave her a kidney. It's hers now. He has no right to ask for it back... and if he thinks he does, that's kind of creepy; does he think he "owns" his wife because she has a piece of him inside her? It's not such a stretch to believe he might be "controlling and obsessed", as she claims.
That is just... wrong. I mean, he gave it to her. I think of the term, Indian Giver when I hear this story. People nowadays are just getting ridiculous with their demands. I find it funny the lady who sued McDonald's for spilling hot coffee on her lap and the cup didn't say the coffee was "HOT!" I mean, c'mon it's flippin' common sense. America is going a big overboard with the things people demand nowadays.
I would probably want my things back if I split up with my husband and he committed Aldutery. If he did cheat on me, I would probably try and get just a little bit of money for emotional damage, because that would be emotionally damaging. I know my husband loves me and would never do that and to think if he did... hurts. But I wouldn't ask for all the gifts I had given to him, back. That is just silly.
That's stupid.
Even if they're not together and he's bitter.. His former wife is still a PERSON ffs..
I know he's hurt, but it's a goddamn kidney. It's fucked up to ask for a kidney back, or the money for the kidney.
eh I don't think its right that he's asking for his kidney back and he wont win either. In US court a gift is a gift and doesn't have to be returned (if the donated kidney is in fact a gift like you said.)
But man, I don't blame him for wanting to get back like that. Id be pissed if I gave up a freaking kidney for my SO and then they went and fucking cheated on me. Id be like "You ungrateful son of a bitch!" and try to tear it out. lol
I'm pretty sure when you give someone your kidney it's forever. If only marriage could be that way.
@PhatBoY113@xanga - according to various sources, he is demanding $1.5 million to pay for the kidney. so in seeking reimbursement for the apparent cost of the kidney, he ultimately is asking for the kidney back. it's like a furniture store saying pay us the money for the couch or we're going to take it back.
I think this is absurd. A body organ donation IS considered a gift. He cannot demand the monetary value for it even.
Haha I saw this on David Letterman just about a half hour ago. It's ridiculous!
I don't think he thinks he's being realistic. I think he knows that his request is ridiculous, but it's the principle of the matter. Everyone thinks this man is ridiculous for wanting his kidney back or a million bucks, but this man is loaded, obviously it's not the money. He married his wife who he loved and gave his body to, literally. And what does she do? When she becomes healthy she cheats on him. On top of that, she takes the kids and refuses to let him see them. I'd ask for my kidney back, too. She feels entitled to the kids that HE helped create and give life to and takes them back from him, so why can't he feel entitled to HIS freakin' kidney and take it back. If anything, the media buzz will help to garner sympathy for him, so instead of the big payoff the wife probably would have gotten from her rich husband, she'll probably leave without a dime because people will think she's a slut and got a kidney valued at 1.5 mil. That's what I really think this is about...making sure he's not losing his paycheck to his wife. She took his trust, his love, his freakin kids, and even his kidney, damn if she got the money, too.
Also, the bigger question is why this woman kept trying to have kids when she knew that her kidney's would not hold up. The husband gave her his, but the other two from the previous transplants came from her father and her sister. She said that she had other family members that would have donated the kidney to her. First of all, that doesn't devalue the fact that HE gave you HIS kidney. The other disturbing thing is that this lady kept having babies and feeling okay about it because she could just take other folks kidneys. Why put your family and your existing kids through that much trouble and pain to add another member to the family? Why knowingly put your life in danger when you have a duty as a wife and mother? That just doesn't seem right. Tie your tubes or get on birth control. Adopt. You have one or two already, why take another kidney from someone like you are entitled to everyone else's body parts.
Well, now that the kidney is in HER body and serving HER bodily functions, it's not his anymore. Any judge in his/her right mind would throw that part of the claim out for stupidity alone..
Personally, I say the way to get rid of frivilousnes like that is to charge the guy with attempted murder... I mean, she'd DIE without a kidney, and by knowingly demanding it's return, isn't he knowingly expecting her to die without a miracle???
He's a doctor? -__o
Emotions are amazing. He's so mad that he's asking for a kidney back. On top of that, he'd rather have her die. He went to court for this? I hope the judge turned the case away. So with that, he still has to pay the fees for the lawyer and look like a full on fool. Sure, she did something wrong but come on! Just divorce her! No need to get so silly with the kidney business.
Sad. Just sad.
Maybe she didn't cheat on him. My guess is if she was that sick she stayed at home most of the marriage and he liked that. When she felt healthy again she actually got out and did things. Let's say that he is jealous or possessive and starts to believe that she is cheating on him. Maybe she filed for divorce because she got tired of being accused of cheating on him. Maybe she did or maybe she didn't. Either way the story I read doesn't say that outside of his accusation that there is any proof that she did cheat on him. This issue really doesn't matter because you can't ask for a kidney back or for the money to replace it. If it is okay to do that for marriage than anyone could do that. Suppose that someone donated a kidney to another person, then followed that person around, decided that they didn't like what they were doing with their life and asked for it back. You can't do that.
Sounds like they deserve eachother.
@Laurie - I'm not sure how you figure that asking for the value of the kidney ($1.5 million) equates to wanting the actual kidney back. It's my understanding that he is seeking the $1.5 million to offset any judgment/settlement that arises from their divorce proceeding.
I'm a lawyer and while people are correct that a gift is a gift, the revocability of that gift depends on the circumstances. For example, an engagement ring is given as a gift in anticipation of marriage. If the couple breaks up and the marriage doesn't happen, the woman is legally obligated to return the ring to the man.
Now I'm not saying he gave his wife the kidney as consideration for anything as I do not know the full circumstances of the case but my guess is that the complaint addresses some cause of action regarding the "gift".
@PhatBoY113@xanga - Not really related to the op but I'm curious. I was always under the impression that if the woman broke off the engagement she was obligated to give the ring back, but if it was the man who ended things, she was not obligated to give the ring back, as it is he who is guilty of breach of promise. I'm not trying to be argumentative, I'm honestly curious.
As to the rest of it all, There are two sides to every story. Maybe she cheated, maybe she didn't. Maybe he was obsessive and controlling, maybe he wasn't. No one will ever know for sure besides them, I just feel badly that the children are suffering. I'm sure that can't be easy to go through.
@babyK102982@xanga - You bring up a very good question. It actually depends on the state you live in. When deciding who gets to keep the engagement ring, courts do not agree on whether it should matter who did the breaking up or why.
To some judges, it isn't fair that the giver should always get the ring back, especially if the receiver was ready to go ahead with the marriage and the giver broke it off. They think it would be unfair for the receiver to keep the ring if the engagement was broken because of the receiver's unfaithfulness or other wrongdoing. In those cases, the ring should be returned to its purchaser (giver). This "fault-based" rule is the majority approach.
Other judges, however, think that the whole matter of who broke up with whom isn't any of their business. If the wedding's off, the giver should get the ring back, regardless of who, why, where, or when the engagement ended. After all, they reason, no-fault divorce makes it possible for marriages to end without bitter court fights over whose fault it was; engagements should be treated the same way.
Here in NY and NJ, the courts hold to the no-fault reasoning where the donor should always get the ring back regardless of who broke it off.
@PhatBoY113@xanga - Thanks for the answer. I appreciate it. I was always curious about the technicalities. :)
Would he have donated his kidney to her if they had been divorced at the time? If no, then he has a right to ask it back. He didn't give it to her so that she could recover and then sleep around like a hoe.
You can't just take someone's kidney and then betray him! wtf
Wasn't something close to this an episode of 'Grey's Anatomy'?
If I give someone something, it's theirs. I don't care if it's a kidney or a post-it note. I have no expectations of getting it back if we're no longer on speaking terms. Those are my own personal standards.
Legally, I don't think he'll get it either. It is not the as a ring or other material possession. It has no monitary value.
the word is not "wrench," it is "wench." "wench" means "whore," while "wrench" is a tool.
i can understand his side actually; how humiliated he must be, to have saved her life and she went and cheated on him.Â
however, what i do not understand is who determined the worth of his kidney ($1.5 million). he got it for free, you know, and i'm sure it's no better than anyone else's. what, was it made out of platinum?!