Tuesday, 13 January 2009
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Naming Male and Female Anatomy- A Rose is a Rose...
Guest post submitted by Cackle_Loud
When I became a mother, one of my steadfast rules was that I would call a thing what it was, a spade a spade, a penis, well, a penis. So when Rory began being cognizant of his body, particularly around potty training time, we talked about penises, not "peepees." Because it's a penis. And this sentence is stupid:"You have got to hold on to your peepee when you go peepee."
And you have no idea how many times I've uttered the anatomically correct version of that sentence. Or maybe you have, either if you have a young boy or you've visited my house and wondered why everything around the toilet is just a little damp.
All was fine and good until Brigit. See, Brigit is a girl. She has different parts. She has more parts. And honestly, without breaking out an anatomy book, I couldn't name them all.
Sure, boys have penises, and girls have vaginas. Got it. Boys have penises, and girls have ... little holes by their clitorises (no, I won't define that one right now, you'll figure it out on your own later). What is that called? Where the pee actually comes out? There's just too much down there.
My older sister went through this same conundrum, as her daughter is older. And I'd expected her to figure it out. She uses "girl bits." But what if her unborn child is a boy? Will he have boy bits?
I test drove a number of terms: hoochie, coochie, hoochie mama, flower, down there. Nothing worked. They were either too porny or too kitschy. So we have been using hoohah (which unfortunately makes me thing of the Marine hoo-rah, introducing a whole other line of thought that I really didn't need).
As in all things Brigit, of course, she has her own way.
She's been noticing Rory's body lately in the bath, the differences. And I overheard a very patient Rory explaining that no, she doesn't have a penis, she has "a little hole in your bum where the pee comes out."
After bath that night, she was craning to check out her bits while I was changing her diaper. When asked what she was looking at, she gave the Brigit answer:
"My peep."
I don't know if I'll ever watch this show in the same way again.
How do you refer to "boy bits" and "girl bits" with your children? What were you taught as a child?
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About the Author
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- From: Cackle_Loud@xanga
- Name: Liza
- About Me: In high school, I had purple hair and wore combat boots. Today, I work for a mega-corporation and am lucky to get into shoes period. Still trying to figure out which is me. I am blessed with 2 insane kids and a crazy stay-at-home Dad. Somedays, we can only laugh. And on those days, I blog.
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Comments (60)
You've stumped me. I don't know what we'll call that... I never asked as a child and mom never went out of her way to explain. Hmm...
I have a little boy (two-years-old) and I am call it his peepee, probably just because that is how everyone says it for a little boy. It never dawned on me to say it what it is. I guess having a little girl, would put you in a predicament. I will teach him what everything is when he asks, maybe if he hasn't asked by a certain age, I'll just tell him. Good luck with your little girl. Haha. I love the "peep" answer. Gives a whole new meaning to the Easter Bunny Peeps.
So... have you talked to your girl at all about her parts? Lol. I think it's a very good move on your part to teach him the actual names. (Just watch out for prudish teachers - a friend of my mom's also taught her child the anatomically correct terms for his body, and the child said something to his kindergarten teacher about that, which provoked a parent-teacher conference and a big mess that was just absolutely ridiculous.)
Call each thing by it´s name. Wheter or not it will shock people, it doesn´t matter.
Hmm, I don't know if it's just me, but the full post is not showing up. Here is the complete entry (unedited but it contains the discussion of girl bits more than what I'm seeing on Momaroo):
http://weblog.xanga.com/Cackle_Loud/685145969/a-rose-is-a-rose.html
i am all for calling it what it is. i have three boys- 7, 3 and 2... they call their pieces penises and testicles (or, tentacles..) :)
i have a girl- who is only 8 months.. but i assume we'll call it a vagina too- i mean... that's what it is... we've told our boys she has a V instead of a P....
but, i know lots of people don't like to do that... and many people say who-whos, peepees, bottoms...etc. :)
we knew some people who had 4 boys and called them
"dilly dongs" (he had his masters degree)
seriously? dilly dongs?
wow.
talk about giving your kids a complex.
LOL!
eh. I just say vagina. it doesn't have to be confusing if you dont want it to be. You can be real with a kid (you have a penis not a peepee) but they're still kids and kids need it simple. I doubt she's gonna ask about her clitoris.
@Hippmama@xanga - Oh yes, tentacles! At our house, the octupii have testicles...
Not that either of them really understand what it means, but I do use the anatomically correct terms for all parts.
Haha... well, we call it a "peepee". I don't mind it. He knows the real word, but that's what he decided to call it... he's three.
When my sister was little, she called her parts her "front butt" totally on her own. I won't purposely do that with my daughter, but I found it funny when my sister said that. kids are cute.
Well, I think when I was a kid I wasn't all that concerned with all the different names - we just called it a vagina, regardless of the vagina just being a small part of the overall anatomy. My daughter (21 mos) calls it her "gina" My 16 year old sister says I should have her call it her chachi. I said, "As in, Joni and Chachi? No thanks!"
@thinkin_up_dreams@xanga - My thoughts exactly.
@IMChurchmouse@xanga - but then again, like I said. Kids are still kids and we keep it simple. A girl really isnt gonna ask all these questions so saying its a vagina is the most simple and real way to tell her.
@thinkin_up_dreams@xanga - ok, lets look at simplicity for a minute - not trying to be mean or anything..just going with your flow.
Vuh-JEYE-nuh: three syllables. Krotch: one syllable.
Vagina has to be better explained to that maturing mind later, because it's being used incorrectly (and Oh do our loving little ones LOVE to tell us how WRONG we are later on).
Crotch is truthful, and needs no explaining later. More words like vagina, labia, vulva, menstruation, sex, uterus, and other body parts and functions can be explained when they are age and interest appropriate, and there is no blame assigned to you the parent for giving them a word used improperly.
As parents, we gotta anticipate this "it's YOUR fault I didn't behave this way" thingy. (giggle).
@Cackle_Loud@xanga - thanks, I couldn't see all of it on momaroo either.
I'm in the process of potty training my two year old daughter and if I called her parts her vaginia she'd give me that 'what the hell are you talking about' look. Not because I haven't explained to her that that's what it's really called (because I have) but because she's 2 and doesn't fully understand. She named it her 'bud' on her own. She knows what it is when I say it and I know what she's talking about when she says it. What's wrong with keeping things simple as long as you explain things more fully at a later time when it's appropriate.
When i was growing up my mom only used correct terms, penis, vagina, bowel movement or bm. She didnt think just cause we were little we shouldnt use the correct term.
my peep, I love it. explaining to kids that urine comes out of the urethra would be complex.
@Cackle_Loud@xanga - Hi there! I'm sorry about the error with the post. I think maybe certain browsers were cutting the post in half. It should be good now on IE, Firefox, etc. Great post by the way!
The truth about the parts is what I was taught and it is what my children are taught.
I was taught to call them penises and vaginas. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't think my mom much cared about having a technical term for where exactly the pee came out. As far as she was concerned, it came out of a girl's vagina, because at that age, I was too young to know or care what else a vagina was for.
Only in the interest of correct naming of anatomical parts of the body, and since there seemed to be a lack of complete knowledge here regarding this...the opening of the urethra in the female (where urine emerges from the bladder) is called the urethral meatus or could technically be called an orifice.
Now that is is mouthful for a small child so you develop your own shorthand.
Instead of telling her the name of the parts, I think I'm going to let my daughter make up her own term in time, until she asks me what they are really called, or until she notices the difference in little boys.
Instead of saying bowel movement (Because I'm weird with certain words) we say normally, instead of "I have to pee" it's, "I need to pay the water bill", for "I have to do number two", it's "I have to pay the electric bill" and any other numbers in bathroom are referred to as "The utilities"
Again though, I'm weird with words.
HA!! "bits" that's great! My baby brother (fifteen years younger than me, and the baby that broke me in to mothering before my six came along a few years later) solved the problem for mom and me before we even started thinking about what we would call his bits. Every time we changed his pants from the time he was really small, he would reach down and touch the very end of his penis and say "boot" in a little squeaky voice, and then giggle. It seemed to stick, and from then on, his boy bit was called his "boot". Having a body part named for an article of clothing can get so confusing at times. We ended up using lots of nonsensical sentences!
One of my friends says she uses the right names for things, but in truth, she calls her daughters entire genital region their "Gina". Sounds like "china" - a little too much, when my oldest girl picked up the term, my 4 yr. old misunderstood, and was then amazed when my Grandmother gave me her best china and I brought it home in a box carefully wrapped in tissue paper!!! We still haven't managed to get her straightened out!