Sunday, 11 January 2009

• Deadbeat Parents

   by Mama Bee
  
  As a parent of 3 children, I can tell you it isn’t easy. There are times that I would want nothing more than a moment of silence or to have seconds at dinner or sleep in until 8am.
  
  There are times I need a medication but skip the refill or getting it because my son needs lunch money or wants to run cross country.
  
  As a mother I make sacrifices for my babies. I never think about myself first and they always have what they need. My husband works 60+ hours a week to provide for our family. Would he rather be at home spending time with our kids and me? You betcha, but because they are growing and need more, that means more money. We both work our butts off and make sure that our children come first even when sometimes, we just may not want to. My husband is the best father in the world and our kids are very lucky to have him.

  Not everyone is like that. There are people out there that have kids that believe the state should support them because they "can't" or  "won't" work. There are parents that have kids but don't support them in anyway whether it be financially, emotionally, or physically. 
  

  They don't pay child support or help those that have custody. They take care of themselves before their offspring. There are people that have children and hand them over to their parents, grandparents, friends, the other parent, the state, etc. and then have more only to do the same with those other innocent children. There are people that are so selfish they don't put their children first and feel it is owed to them, as the "parent" rather than to their child.
  

  My husband and I don't get any sort of child support from our sons' birth mother- not one penny. We've never received anything in 3 years and when she did work, we didn't see anything. As she states, she is working now but doesn't help us with our sons.
  

  Would it help? Yes, supporting 2 additional children isn't cheap. Lunch money, school clothes and supplies, doctors appointments, extracurricular activities...it's never ending.
  

  When my husband was getting things together and we only had partial custody, we paid child support. Not once did we miss a payment. It seems all too often people call the dad a deadbeat when he can't pay but if a mother doesn't pay it's her getting her life together.
  

  It's an unfair double standard. What people don't get is that child support isn't for the parent(s) of the child(ren) it's for the child(ren) themselves. It goes to a house payment, it goes to food, hell, it can go to taking them to Chuck E Cheese because it's OWED to the child(ren).

  However, the lady that birthed my sons does see them. Per court orders she gets them every other weekend. Sometimes she skips her weekends with them but they see her nonetheless. We feel blessed that our kids are able to see their birth mother.  Can you believe though that there are "parents" out there that don't even SEE their kids. Not to support them is one thing but not even to SEE THEM! I couldn't do it.
  

  I go 2 days without seeing my sons when they are with their birth mother and I can't take it.  My husband and I miss them like crazy and when they call to say they miss us too, it makes it even harder. I go a couple of hours without my princess and my world is crashing.  How can people just have a kid and not ever see that child again?
  

  There are dads and moms (I use that term loosely) that have their kids and never see them and don't care to see them. They don't call, they don't send letters, they don't pick them up for even an hour a month.

  My cousins haven't seen their father for a few years. YEARS! He doesn't pay child support and drinks with his money or spends it on himself and whatever girlfriend he has at the moment. He bounces from woman to woman to live with (much like other people who bounce off men/woman/the state to support them and their kids).  He always says "I need to take care of me first" which is the oldest, lamest line in the book. I've heard that way too much already, it makes me sick to hear.

  It's sad that there are people out there that don’t do what they should for the kids they had or put them first seeing as how children are the innocent bystanders in the situation. My kids are very lucky though. They have a mom and dad that love them that do everything for them. My husband and I give them a great life but it's so sad when other people don't see that as a priority. I say, those of us that support our kids and do everything for them, stand up and put a stop to this. We need to make a stink until it either knocks sense into the deadbeats or forces the courts to change something for the sake of the children.

  What do you think of "deadbeat parents?"  Did you have a parent like that or does your child? What do you think we can do to prevent this from happening? Change the laws? Force the "parent" to do the right thing?

  • 7:49 PM
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