Thursday, 08 January 2009
by Mama Pig
Well, not really. I can always find the words for a blog.
Let me preface this by saying, I'm fully aware that there are some people that do not think that they can handle a child with disabilities and I respect their decisions. I don't wish to say that someone deciding that they wish to terminate a pregnancy when a diagnosis is made, is wrong; it is a personal decision one must make and only they know what is best for their family. Okay, time to vent.
By the way; this has NOTHING to do with terminating a pregnancy after finding out your child had Down syndrome, this is something simply unreal.
E has a carepage. Basically, it is a location where families can create an online journal so that family and friends are kept informed of any new information that comes along when someone is dealing with an illness. I have met some wonderful families within those pages and have found unreal support during some of the really rough times with Emily. While Emily is doing fantastic, I still receive updates from the other families I have come to know.
One of the little girls recently celebrated her first birthday and her mother wrote this amazing blog about that first year. She was stating how great her daughter was doing and that all the naysayers had proven to be wrong. I am veering slightly off topic. Sorry.
Anyway, one of the other mothers responded with a story that I had not heard before regarding her daughter. A was not diagnosed with Down syndrome until she was almost four months old. It was at her mom's insistence that something was not quite right that let them to do the genetic testing.
Upon receiving the news that indeed A had Down syndrome, (reminder that she was almost four months old at this point), the specialist proceeded to explain to her mother that she had two choices to make. Her mother said she sat there for a few moments trying to figure out what choices the doctor was speaking of, when he explained what he meant.
He told her that she would need to decide if she intended on keeping her FOUR MONTH OLD child or would she care to place her up for adoption!
I read that and just kept thinking, "you have to be kidding me".
Perhaps I am more sensitive to this because of E, but I was just appalled at the suggestion even being made. Of course, I am not so blind as to not understand that there are probably those that would choose to adopt the child out, but I am still shocked. Interestingly enough, I can recall a conversation with a NICU nurse way back when. Apparently, there is a waiting list of adoptive parents waiting for a child with Down syndrome.
Once again, this is only my response. If I had to answer honestly I would say without a doubt; if a person knows that they could not handle the responsibilities that come with a child with a disability then for the sake of the child as well as themselves; make the necessary decisions. I hate the thought, but I hate the thought of a child being neglected or unloved far more.
Children with Down syndrome are more like "normal" children than different. They have enhanced genes that make them absolutely beautiful and my enhanced princess is the best gift I have ever received.
Thank you for allowing me to vent. I am off to hug the babies.