Wednesday, 07 January 2009

• My Parental Concerns Aren't Child Harnesses, TV Time, or Obama Onesies...

   by Mama Elephant
  

  As a parent to a teenager with a developmental disability and another baby on the way, I have a full plate.  I am not complaining, mind you.  I actually feel that being a mom is what I do best in life.  It is my greatest accomplishment.

  So as a parent, what is on my mind? 

  I worry about the rising cost of health care and the reduction of quality of care in this country.   It scares me to think that my husband is one pink slip away from my son not having access to a medication he desperately needs but costs nearly $2000.00 a month without insurance.  The idea of even changing jobs and having to wait 90 days for the new insurance plan to kick in scares me as well.  A coverage gap like that could literally cause my son's death.  There is always COBRA but anyone who has done any research would understand that it is insanely expensive and completely unaffordable to anyone out of work or any working class family that needs to change jobs. I am concerned about the fact that people are protesting demands of insurance companies being required to cover Autism over concerns that their rates will rise. 

  Meanwhile, nobody in my family needs Viagra, cancer treatment, diabetes supplies, or treatment for heart disease. Yet, I am paying higher rates for all those ailments and can't get anything beyond 10 psychiatric appointments per calendar for my own son.  Should he use those appointments, then have a setback or reaction to his medication...it is all on me.  Oddly, I don't just worry about my own family in regards to this issue.  I actually worry about all working class families.

  I worry about the fact that our education system is one of the lowest ranked in the industrialized world.  Research jobs are leaving the country because we can't keep up in the math and science fields.  No Child Left Behind cuts funding to the poorest schools that were failing due to violence, poverty, overcrowding, and under funding (causing the districts to not be able to afford better teachers).  Districts in many states are drawn to benefit schools in wealthy areas rather than funding schools based on population.  We want the jobs to stay here in the USA but we don't want to properly fund the education system nor do we insist on making the sure the funds are spent wisely.

  I worry about how many children are in the foster care system, waiting for their parents to do what it takes to get them back or to be adopted while celebrities comb the planet looking for perfect children in 3rd world countries to rescue.  I worry about the fact that child abuse is just as rampant in the foster care system as it is out.  Oh, and yes, I plan to be a foster parent in the future.

  I worry about the fact that a faction of our government is calling for an end to "big government" and yelling at the other major party to "get out of our lives"...meanwhile this same group wants to tell homosexuals that they cannot marry nor should they be permitted to adopt.  They preach abstinence and condemn poor people who have children, meanwhile they rail against reliable birth control.  Who is in who's life now?

  I worry about my children's future.  My darling boy has Autism and there is a chance the one on the way will have it as well.   Every extra penny we have is spent on caring for my son today with nothing left for us to leave him later and nothing left for us to retire with.  I don't work now because there are no affordable and qualified options for the care of my son after school or during breaks.  This isn't just my problem.  This is a problem for all working class families trying to raise their developmentally disabled children.
  

  I worry about parents with superiority complexes raising their children to be heartless bullies.  I worry about my child getting picked on at the playground by those wonderfully healthy children who are watching their parents pick apart everyone around them and learning to do the same with their own peers.  Those children will one day be in a position to vote on issues that will directly affect the care of my disabled son.  I worry that they will learn the cry of "tax cuts" over demands of wise and compassionate spending.  There will always be people who find a way to "cheat" the system.  Cutting budgets won't prevent it or stop it.  It will only keep the truly needy from getting the assistance they need.  I guess a "right to life" begins and ends in the womb and once the child is born, to hell with what they need to stay alive and well.

  What I don't worry about is whether other parents are letting their children wear harnesses.  I don't care if the mom next door puts her infant in an Obama onsie.  I couldn't care less if the neighborhood kids play V-Tech or soccer (the V-tech is far more affordable than most sports leagues).  I don't care how much television other children are watching.  You see, I'm far too busy raising my child to the best of my ability.   I personally have better things to do with my time than sit around and judge trivial aspects of parenting styles.  I'm surprised that any parent would have the time and energy to be so judgemental.  I'm saddened by the idea that this is the only way these parents can feel better about themselves.

  As a parent, I have many worries. 

  What are some of yours?

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