Wednesday, 31 December 2008

  • Your Birthday Is Not Your Day...

    Guest post submitted by Ms_Moca

    Your Birthday Is Not Your Day... On his 10th birthday, his father sat him down and said, "Son, from now on you will not be getting any presents for your birthday anymore."

    It wasn't because he was naughty. It wasn't because his parents didn't love him. And it wasn't because his parents couldn't afford it.

    "Your birthday is not your day. It's your mother's day. Because it was the most painful day of her life. And she endured it willingly to bring you into this world. So everyday on your birthday, instead of receiving a present, you will be giving one...to your mother." 

    His father handed him a bouquet of flowers and the boy delivered them to his mother.

    This boy grew into a man. And still every year on his birthday, he would send flowers to his mother. He would cook her dinner and make his birthday her day. This little boy is my boyfriend.

    It's a beautiful and selfless act that everyone should do for their mother. Instead of being demanding and acting as if your birthday is the day everyone else bows down to you, make it a special day for the woman who gave you life.

    Because on the day that we were born, we accomplished nothing special to deserve any merit or honor. It is our mothers who are the true warriors. And it is our mothers who deserve to be celebrated.

    Do you do anything special for your mom on your birthday?

Comments (367)

  • kitty1588@xanga

    wow, great post!! never thaught bout my bday in that way! now i do know wt i gonna do on my next bday!!! thanks 4 posting it!

  • SleepinginShadows@xanga

    Wow, that's awesome. My Mom's birthday is on the same day as mine...so I give her a gift, and it wouldn't really work out. I like the idea, but at the same time.....


    I like giving people gifts...and when I have kids, I don't want them to give me presents on my birthday. I want to give THEM presents, because they're my kids and it's their day. To me, anyways. It's a nice thought, but not really my cup of tea.

  • babybooties33@xanga

    After having gone through 21 hours of hard labor (and 2 weeks of prodomal labor before that), only to end up with a c-section because the cord was wrapped around my daughters neck 4 times and then ended up with my incision infected and had to have it reopened... I have to say, this is a CROCK! 


    My daughters birthday is the day that SHE survived.  I chose to get pregnant because I wanted a child.  I would gladly go through labor and everything I endured I would never ever ever think of taking away from my daughter the celebration of her being brought into this world.  The day she first breathed life.  Sure, my body nurtured her and was the vehicle by which she came into this world...but that does not mean I deserve some sort of recognition on her birthday.  To say it was the most painful day of my life ... well, sure it was not fun... but that is NOT something I would ever hold over my daughters head.  I would never even think of it. 


    I am grateful that I was given this precious gift of life ... and because I am grateful I honor my daughter on her special day.  Mothers have Mothers Day.  Why do we need to steal our childrens day.  Celebrate Mothers on Mothers Day. 


    I celebrate my daughter and the fact that she was given to me and my husband on her birthday.  I celebrate her life and the time we have had with her. 


    Speaking as a mom and someone who has gone through labor... I find this idea very disturbing.  I think our children SHOULD be celebrated.  They are a gift.

  • dartarro_21@xanga

    I think everyone's birthday should be mother's day.

  • cHARMmMmm@xanga

    That's sweet...


    I don't really get anything for my birthday.  Instead, we just spend it together and eat together as a family (coz we hardly ever do that).

  • valesa@xanga
  • lackadaesical@xanga

    That's cute, but I guess that means boys and childless women get no special day for themselves? I dunno, just seems kinda heartless and stealing the childhood from the kid.

  • somethingbluee@xanga

    i have never thought this way, but it is so true. i am sure i will from now on!


    and you're lucky to have such a sweet boyfriend :)

  • taxicabconfessionals@xanga

    Well...I spend the day with my mom.

    I dunno, I never thought of it that way. I was a difficult birth--with my being breech, a C-section, and the cord being wrapped around my neck three times, making it hard to breathe--so I guess we celebrate that I survived that.

    I think I should give more credit to my mom. She was calm and level-headed through all of that AND she worked every single day up until she gave birth, with me and my older brothers. She was actually headed into work when she went into labor with me.

    Thanks for putting it into perspective for me.

    Also, I think it's really sweet that the father recognized and appreciates all that the mother did and didn't take for granted that she gave birth. It's nice to hear about parents who really love each other.

  • lacachet@xanga

    very true. kudos to moms everywhere. :] and to your boyfriend! :]

  • cazziii_fire@xanga

    makes me feel selfish now. o.o haha.

  • musicmom60@xanga

    My parents adopted me on October 31, a month after my birthday, and while they always celebrate my birthday, I celebrate Oct. 31 by giving them flowers or something....that's the day they brought me home and we became a family- my second birthday.

  • judgmental@xanga

    they're not warriors; giving birth is a step in the generic life cycle.  everything alive does it, but only humans think that mothers should be venerated.  this is one of the most ridiculous things i've ever heard.  it's not like the child asked to be brought into the world, and it's not like he would've been any bit disappointed if he wasn't (because, you know, he wouldn't have been conscious of it).  there's already one mothers' day.

  • dreadfully__yours@xanga
  • unprettii_loser@xanga

    Naww. I honestly wish I could do that for my own mother,yet I have not seen her for 10 years. Now. If only.


    Such a selfless act, I applaud your Boyfriend.

  • PlasticPill@xanga

    Gee, typical. Another lame attempt to throw attention on a woman. Stealing someone's birthday? Some people truly have nothing better to do with their time. Utter crap.

    What if the mother abandoned the baby? Do we still salute her then?

    Or what if she didn't intend to have the baby, it was a (*gasp*) mistake? She still get credit then?

    There's so many reasons why this is ridiculous it's not even funny.
    And no....My birthday IS my day, thank you very much.

  • PopApricot@xanga

    Why was I not sentimental enough to think of doing such a thing?!

  • sammjane@xanga

    I'd never thought about it like that before. I wonder who started the tradition of self celebration on your birthday?

  • CHLmylife@xanga

    Wow, I never thought of it that way!  Now I feel like a selfish bitch.  For my next birthday, I'm definitely going to give something brilliant to my mother. =)

  • Sea_Of_Trees@xanga

    and like a few posters have already stated...i dont think that the choice of the mother to bring a child into the world should be celebrated on that child's birthday
    that is why we have MOTHER'S DAY!!

    as a mother of two...i know 1st hand how painful it was to bring two children into the world (completely drug free/natural labors) but i feel like i should celebrate the life i brought into the world & celebrate all of the things that child has accomplished (all of the milestones,etc...)

  • Battie@xanga

    that's interesting, but not something i do to my daughter. her birthday is HER special day that she entered the world & i choose to celebrate her birth because i was very happy & perfectly willing to bring her into the world despite the pain.

    labor pains are forgotten soon after birth. it's a mechanism that womens brains possess that allows them to have more children, and love them all despite the pain. the pain isn't the point of the birth & it's not something that should be focused on. the child is the point of labor & it's the childs life that should be celebrated.

    honor moms on mothers day & HER birthday. don't make the child feel guilty for being born & stop giving him gifts. that's just diminishing his own importance and self worth. & it's forgetting the whole point of having a child in the first place.

    to me, it sounds like the dad is far more concerned about his wife than the emotional well being of his child and that's just not right. if my husband did that to our daughter i'd slap the silly shit out of him for it.

    that just kind of twisted in my opinion.

  • Monalynn@xanga

    I would never expect either of my sons to give up celebrating their special day! That Dad was mean to the son in my opinion. He could easily have told his son that it would be a special thing to acknowledge his Mother on his birthday but why give up celebrating the fact that YOU have made through another year? That is a big accomplishment for a lot of people. You can teach respect and gratitude for others without making a child give up a fun day of celebrating their own birthday. I celebrate my sons' birthdays because they are both the most precious gifts I ever received and they love, respect and acknowledge my love and care for them every time I see them, and I never "taught" them to do that!

  • la_faerie_joyeuse@xanga

    Fuck THAT! That's what Mother's Day is for.


    As someone whose mother is a piece of SHIT who deserves to die, I don't think it's appropiate for everyone. Before you tell me that I should be "respectful" of her because she "gave me life," stop and realize that she then tried to TAKE that life, numerous times. My entire childhood was a battle for survival, created by her sadism.

  • girl_lost_in_the_dark@xanga

    I have never really thought about it like that. It is a good point though. For me though it is a little more complicated than that. I was adopted so my mom isn't the one who actually brought me into the world, but she did bring me into her world.

  • happygirl7798@xanga

    As a mother I wouldn't neglect giving my child something on his birthday and expect him to do something for me.  I choose to have him.  It is his day and a special time to celebrate when he came into the world not my work to get him here.  That is what Mother's Day is for.  Mother's day is a big deal in my house.  I have trained my children and my husband that on Mother's day and Father's day you give presents and do special things for that person.  I do the same for my mother and mother in law on that day.  

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  • Ms_Moca@xanga
    • From: Ms_Moca@xanga
    • Name: Monica
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