Monday, 22 December 2008

  • Having Kids: Waiting or Ready?

    Mama Fox by Mama Fox 

    Having Kids: Waiting or Ready?

    Growing up I rarely thought about getting married and having children. When I did think about it, I figured I would get married about 25, take a couple of years just to be a couple then start our family. If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans. Of course life didn't work out that way.

    We had been married 4 months when our oldest son was born. His two younger brothers followed in the 3 years after. We have been married for 5 years now and we are surrounded by children. While we love our life and our family, it still would have been nice to just be together, the two of us, for a while before having babies. Now we just look forward to being young empty nesters. We will be 39/40 when our youngest leaves the house. We'll get our couple time in then.

    Did you wait a while after getting married to have children or did you want to have kids right away? If you aren't married/childless, do you plan to wait or not?

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Comments (44)

  • ccarothers@xanga

    I personally plan to wait at least a year or two after I get married to have kids.  I think that the first year (at least) is necessary for developing who you are as a couple before you introduce kids into the mix. 
  • jusanobody@xanga

    I also want to wait. No way I want kids that soon.. I'd like to even wait 3-4-5 years to have kids. 
  • szafar7981@xanga

    I've been married for over 3 years now, and the baby question is on everyone's lips!!  We're thinking maybe to wait one more year to start a family :)  
  • myfate22@xanga

    Funny, I thought I would get married right out of college and start a family by the time I was 25. I'm almost 26 and now with a different person. Although I'm confident he's the one, I know the marriage and kids part of my life is at least a couple years away.


    I go through phases when I want to start a family right now. Then we have a night where we are out late and I realize that we wouldn't be able to do that with kids. I'd rather wait and not have regrets later. 
  • freedomcome@xanga

    i know this sounds crazy but if i had someone to have them with i'd have kids now. i absolutely adore children i know i want at least 3 and i know i could do it.


    i'm 18...
  • phuck_diz_shiz@xanga

    Gonna wait around for a while  I'm in no rush I'm still young - I'm 18
  • IamKelleyK@xanga

    We were married 2 1/2 years.  I'm 29 and had my baby this year.  I wouldn't change a thing, I'm glad I waited to have a baby.
  • snowchic23@xanga

    We have been married two years, and I think we are going to wait at least another 3-4 years before having a baby.  We are both starting our master's this spring, so we want to finish those and we also want to pay off most of our undergraduate loans (my husband's work is paying for his Masters, and I hope to pay for mine as I go).  Those are the plans right now, but we will see how it goes.  I'm only 24, so I'm not in any rush (I'll be 25 in March, and my husband is 26).  I enjoy just being a couple without kids, our dog is enough responsbility for now, haha!  If I ever think I want kids now I just babysit and remember why I don't want them right now! :)

  • itscatwithak@xanga

    We plan on getting married in 2011 and I'll be 24 then.  I'm not sure if I'm going for a masters or Psy. D. yet.  If I am just going for a masters I'd like to wait until after I have my masters and have worked at least a year at a job before having children.  If I get into a longer graduate program I might rethink when I want to have children, as I'd like to be done by the time I'm 30.  So I guess its all up in the air.
  • Incredible_Edible_Niffer@xanga

    I've been with my fiancé for over 4 years now.  I'm 22 and he's 31.  We're probably going to get married in the summer of 2009.  I'm still in school and he's focusing on his career, so we'll definitely wait a few years before having kids.  I think 30 would be a good age for me.  And I only plan to have one kid.
  • sillywilly_me@xanga

    yeah. pretty much the same plan as you also, around 25 or 26... wait a couple years and then start a family. in spite of that, i'm only 18, and i've got a lot more change to go through. i still want to finish up all of my schooling and fulfill all my travelling goals before being... trapped. don't get me wrong, i love kids. :)
  • raved@xanga

    I would like to wait a year or two before starting a family, but if I happened to become pregnant before that time then I would be fine.
  • Earthboundgrowth@healthkicker

    I'm not married and I do not have a child. I'm an older teen, SO MEH.
     I do not plan to ever marry. At least, not in the conventional sense. As for children, I do not physically plan to have them...though I would like to adopt someday, preferrably once I have a stable living environment to offer to a child.
  • KKNABrowning@xanga

    HMM.
    I am 26 years old I had my first little girl when I was 20 years old. No husband, No boyfriend. I survived as a single mother for 4 years when I finally met my husband. Happily. I never really thought about being married I didn't really like the idea of someone bossing my baby around who hadn't been there for her growing up. I Started seeing my then boyfriend and was pregnant 3 months later. I was ready to skip out again and raise the second baby girl on my own. I didn't however, I stayed and fell in love with the guy. He's 20 years old and yeah we catch hell for it but I married him in August 2007 and our daughter was born in December 2008. I loved being single but I love being married so I can say I would never change a thing. To each his own I guess.
  • bubbelcat@xanga

    We got engaged 3 months after we met.  Our engagement was a bit over a year and a half long, not by choice but by circumstance.  Our first child was born shortly after our 2nd anniversary, we then had 4 more children over the next 9 years.  We never planned it like that, it's just how things worked out. 

    I think people cling too much to their plans and expectations and it prevents them from being open to following the flow of life and new possibilities.  We planned to have a 4th child and got twins.  My cousin meticulously planned her first 2 children so that the timing would be "perfect" and then she found herself unexpectedly pregnant when her youngest was 8 months old.  You want to make God laugh?  Tell Him your plans.   
  • starfall56@xanga

    I'm 23, unmarried and I have a son.  The father and I have been together for over 4 years...  Our son was unplanned and we didb't want to get married just because we were having a baby.  I doubt we will ever get married, he just doesnt seem that interested in me...  at least he's an excellent father!
  • lethallyglamorous@xanga

    I'm an older teen. Do not have children but have been living in a marridge like relationship since i was 13.

    Marriage is a very institutional thing, personally im already married if you ask me. We have been living together for 3 years. Since i was 13. And the only reason we arent married is because its not legal. Yet.

    Having kids at 16 wouldn't scare me and i like being settled down.

    [In saying that i wouldnt become a stay at home mom. Oh No. Thats not for me.]

    But its different for everyone.

    Some people still havent figured out how hold their life together at 35 let alone plan it.
  • AWaters@xanga

    Got married at 21 been married a year and a half, still no kids. We're going to discuss it after I graduate in May. 
  • icapillas@xanga

    I wait & plan for the right time.
  • ThePinkMoonShop@xanga

    My husband and I got married just over a year ago and we are expecting a girl in March. I don't think we even took the time to discuss whether or not we would wait, but we are definitely excited!

  • Mcon@xanga
    Is there a way to skip parenthood and go straight to being a grandfather?
  • my_trumpet_pwns_all@xanga

    My plans are conflicted.  I want to be 24-25 when i get married/have kids, and I want four.  (at least one boy, one girl, although I don't think i'd be one of those woman, who if I didn't get a boy, I'd just keep having them. )  But- part of me wants to wait until I'm DONE with school... with what i'm currently looking at, that makes 26-27 more of a possibility... but, I'm only half way through high school.  I'm sure my plans will change by the time i actually get to making them.  
  • greenybaby12@xanga

    i think i will call it as i see it. if i do happen to get pregnant a few months after my marriage, great! if I'm pregnant during my wedding, fine. if i don't have kids until a few months/years after my wedding, good. i think children are amazing and so much fun! i want many kids! five kids, actually. but, i don't mind at what point i start having kids. i would like to start a family maybe a few months after my wedding, just because i absolutely adore children!
  • greenybaby12@xanga

    i want to be out of school and be pretty steady with my job until i finally get married and have kids.
    i have a lot of ambitions and one of them is possibly traveling the world. but one thing i ABSOLUTELY must do is go to Antarctica for a few months. and kids might get in the way of those goals.
    so I'll probably need to get my life situated to start popping out the kiddies!
  • SlvrPurity@xanga

    i think i;d wait til like... idk. it just seems... more sensible?

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